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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Having a pool is so neat. All of your friends are suddenly interested to catch up on the hottest days of the year.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

“Can you explain the gap in your resume?” I went missing in a national park.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Just saying “Think about it!” is enough to overwhelm many people these days.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Never eat more than you can lift.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Say what you want about online meetings, but there are few things more liberating than attending a disciplinary hearing naked from the waist down.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

True friends don’t judge each other, they judge other people… together.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

The retirement age needs to be lowered to 40, I’ve had enough.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Let’s skip the getting-to-know-you phase. Just block me.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Rage bait often works on me because I was already angry before I read that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Dec 27, 2025

3,605

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Nonchalant men are not for me. I want mine to have a panic attack if we’re not talking.

Trending via WeChat:

I need a leaf blower, but for people.

Spotted on Twitch:

“The Nightmare Before Christmas” just means, January 1st – December 24th.

Freshly posted on Discord:

The only difference between hungry and horny is where you insert the cucumber.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Can someone please invent 8 hours between 9 p.m. and midnight?

Just shared via Facebook:

Living la vida taco!

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

If we “talk,” you ain’t single. We’re in a pending relationship. You’re in the cart.

Shared recently on Twitch:

We are gathered here today because our ancestors didn’t have condoms.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Girls … I understood why they advise us to get married and have kids before 25. Because after that, our brain starts working, and the decision won’t seem so reasonable anymore.

Just landed via YouTube:

Gonna toot my own horn here because I made it through another day without turning any of my feelings into felonies.

I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

2 months ago

0

I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sounds like a legit reason to don a shark costume and embrace your inner predator! 🦈💁‍♀️ Just remember, you're a fearsome force of nature – and maybe keep the snappy comments to a minimum. 🩸😂 #SharkWeekRealness"

blood, call, cravings, eat, emotions, everything, everywhere, feel, huge, humor, i, me, menstruation, people, period, scared, shark, Shark week, snapping, want, week

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you inject Botox into a raisin, does it turn back into a grape?

0

2 months ago

absurdity, back, beauty, Botox, grape, humor, joke, raisin, transformation, turn
I’m so tired. Let’s see all of the horrible things happening in the world today before I try to sleep peacefully.

0

2 months ago

before, happening, horrible, horrible things, humor, i, irony, peaceful, sarcasm, sleep, things, tired, today, try, world
Every morning I wake up and think I have a hangover, but then I realize I didn’t drink, and this is just how I feel now.

0

2 months ago

drink, every, feel, feeling, hangover, humor, i, just, morning, realize, self-deprecating, think, wake, wake up
I quit boxing the moment I realized my opponent was allowed to punch me in the face, too.

0

2 months ago

allowed, boxing, competition, face, face punch, humor, i, joke, me, moment, opponent, punch, quit, quitting, sarcastic, sports, too
Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like ‘I don’t know how to hold a pencil.’

0

2 months ago

do everything, everything, funny observation, hand, hold, humor, i, just, know, knowledge, knows, observation, pencil, sit, weird
Big fan of the comma, just great. Like look, I just made you pause the sentence as you read it. Oh look, I just did it again.

0

2 months ago

again, big, comma, fan, great, humor, i, just, oh, pause, punctuation, read, sentence, writing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Pinterest this month:

God, never seen San Francisco this bad. Spiderwebs completely covering entire business, skeletons just strewn about sidewalks in every neighborhood. Things have got to change!

72 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Spotify Wrapped, but for all your bad decisions this year.

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

The problem with people starts when we expect things from them, or have anything to do with them.

46 shares on Snapchat this month:

We’re all naughty, some just more than others.

48 shares on Twitch this month:

My last husband’s name is Don. I just added an E to it and walked away.

59 shares on Slack this month:

McDonald’s is finally promoting good health by making their food unaffordable.

86 shares on Discord this month:

People that never want to leave the house unite! Separately at our own homes.

63 shares on Pinterest this month:

I want to be the kind of person who eats half a grapefruit for breakfast and runs every morning, but I also want to be happy.

69 shares on Pinterest this month:

The older I get, the more I respect Sleeping Beauty. She took one look at the world and said, “Nah.”

51 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“You’re always sleeping,” God forbid a woman wants to be unconscious.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My girlfriend? You wouldn’t know her, she’s in a different data center.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I love single sign-on because you only have to sign on once, 8 times a day.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I wanted to study psychology, but I have more potential as a patient, to be honest.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My friends wife threatened to leave him over his Star Wars collectibles and I was like “divorce is strong in this one”.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag, but I drove and found a place I was looking for without turning down my music today.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Comments other people make during a movie are annoying. Comments I make during a movie enhance the experience.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Coming back to your own bed after a few days away is peak coziness.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

At my age, I’m worried about tripping and falling, so I wear a helmet. I’m also worried about looking ridiculous, so I carry a skateboard.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,727

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Love is in the air fryer.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Not to brag, but I’ve done nothing for several hours.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Was complaining to my mom about my daughter’s attitude and she told me I should’ve named her payback.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

The sexual tension between me and a late afternoon coffee to get me through the workday.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

I need to social distance with the refrigerator so I can flatten my curve.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Sometimes I think about starting a podcast and then I remember all I do during conversations is nod.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

“Pre” means before, and “post” means after. Using both at the same time would be preposterous.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

I love admitting when I’m wrong, because it gives me a break from always being right, like finally.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

“Still gangsta” I whisper to myself as I drink my chamomile tea with a heating pad on my back.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

My fitness goal is to lose two straight jacket sizes.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Oh, him? He’s my insignificant other.

Going viral on X:

Letting the sun have its way with my freckles today.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Why are those Mad Max guys always driving around, it’s not like there’s anywhere to go?

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I have so much planned today that I was already tired thinking of it yesterday.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Breaking news is really breaking me.

Going viral on Telegram:

The sweet potato is the kindest vegetable.

Trending via X:

Unless you fell off the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.

Making waves on Twitch:

“I asked Grok. I asked ChatGPT.” Yeah, well, I asked my mom. She said no.

Trending via Facebook:

Eating spaghetti to forgetti my regretti.

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