Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Sounds like a legit reason to don a shark costume and embrace your inner predator! 🦈💁‍♀️ Just remember, you're a fearsome force of nature – and maybe keep the snappy comments to a minimum. 🩸😂 #SharkWeekRealness"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You’re old if you’re excited to learn how to play Mahjong.

1 week ago

activity, age, excited, excitement, fun, fun activity, game, humor, learn, learning, Mahjong, old, play
I love the smell of someone burning their last bridge with me.

3 weeks ago

bridge, burning, conflict, humor, i, last, last bridge, love, me, relationship, revenge, sarcasm, smell, someone
Staying up all night so I don’t miss any good posts.

7 days ago

activity, good, humor, i, insomnia, internet, media, miss, night, online, online activity, post, posts, procrastination, social, social media, stay, stay up, staying
I put the “pro” in procrastinate.

3 weeks ago

humor, i, laziness, pro, procrastinate, productivity, put, self-deprecation, wit
If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

1 week ago

bag, bring, food, happy, holiday, home, humor, leftover, me, request, Thanksgiving, wish, ziplock, ziplock bag
A fun thing to do on a first date is wear a wedding dress.

3 weeks ago

activity, comedy, date, dress, first date, fun, fun activity, humor, relationship, thing, wear, wedding, wedding dress

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on Facebook this month:

I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars breaks in during the night they will not wake me up.

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s scary when the washing machine spins really fast.

57 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

80 shares on YouTube this month:

You only realize how heavy your handbag really is when your car tells you that your passenger is not wearing a seatbelt.

49 shares on Reddit this month:

Went jogging and came back after five minutes because I forgot something. Forgot I’m out of shape.

38 shares on WeChat this month:

Imagine being a dinosaur. No work or bills. No drama. Just extinct.

91 shares on Messenger this month:

One of the most amazing things in nature is that the basketball hoop is the perfect size to fit a basketball through.

66 shares on WeChat this month:

“Twister 3” should be told from a cow’s POV.

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Don’t buy me flowers. A bouquet of KitKats will suffice.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m so embarrassed by the paragraphs I used to send expressing my feelings.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

World domination? I don’t even want to be responsible for myself.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Sorry, I’m late. Time isn’t real, and I’m not convinced I am either.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

I postpone certain outfits until I get a certain hairstyle because, yes, it’s that deep.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

It’s so hot here, I’m breaking a sweat just bitching and moaning about it.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

A little 9-5 with a little fraud on the side is the only way you gone survive in this world.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Toilets are not a crime scene, traces may be removed!

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

So why is it that when Star Trek ‘boldly go where no one has gone before’ they always find someone there?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

WW3 is either gonna happen so fast you sleep through it, or it’s gonna last for the rest of your life.

Spotted on YouTube:

In filling out an application, where it says, “In case of emergency notify”, I put “Doctor.”

Broadcasted on X:

Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

Just landed via Facebook:

I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.

Trending via Reddit:

Not now darling, mummy’s influencing on the www.

Trending via Pinterest:

Phone addiction got so bad that watching a movie feels productive.

Live now on YouTube:

Scrolling… good take… bad take… nothing take… cyberbullying… beautiful woman.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

The only Spanish I know is buenas noches, which means bonus nachos – like finding forgotten tortilla chips in your cargo shorts.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

If I walk into a girl’s house and she got like 50 plants, I know she’s a keeper because she already takes care of a bunch of useless things. What’s one more?

Seen just now on Telegram:

Fun prank: make people study for 16 years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

Keep the laugh going 😂

You’re old if you’re excited to learn how to play Mahjong.

I love the smell of someone burning their last bridge with me.

Staying up all night so I don’t miss any good posts.

I put the “pro” in procrastinate.

If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

A fun thing to do on a first date is wear a wedding dress.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨