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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Life is full of questions. Idiots are full of answers.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

“At your big age” is one of my favorite insults.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Jehovah’s Witnesses tell the worst knock knock jokes.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Next on Tiny Houses: A family of 6 moves into a boat emoji.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m only here to test your patience, but like, in a sexy way.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

How do they know an animal is extinct? Like, have you really looked everywhere?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Roses are red, I’m staying in bed. I’ve made no plans, besides pretending I’m dead.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,626

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Started from the bottom and I’m still ain’t shit.

Making waves on X:

Kissing while both wearing baseball caps is so hard. How do baseball players do it?

Live now on Snapchat:

Getting a second opinion about my Tamagotchi’s health.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Not sure how to flirt, but I can make things awkward if you’re into that.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.

Spotted on TikTok:

Can I do better? Yes. Will I do better? Probably not.

Shared recently on Slack:

I was so excited thinking tomorrow was Friday only to find out it is definitely not Friday.

Just landed via Reddit:

Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’m only grumpy when I’m awake.

Spotted on Discord:

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

I can’t sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.

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I can’t sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.
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Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old dilemma of balancing your own sleep with the well-being of your leftovers. It's like a moral dilemma straight out of a Shakespearean tragedy. To eat, or not to eat… that is the question! Whether 'tis nobler to grant yourself sweet dreams, or to suffer the pangs of a rumbling stomach past midnight. Alas, poor pizza slice, I knew him well!"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on Reddit this month:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the job of 3-5 people.

22 shares on Instagram this month:

I overthink, therefore I am.

37 shares on Threads this month:

My therapist said cutting people off isn’t healthy. She’s next.

58 shares on X this month:

RIP to everyone killed by the Gods for their hubris, but I’m different. And better. Maybe even better than the Gods.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

Gonna vibe recklessly and call it “character development”

55 shares on Twitch this month:

Having a kid is so fun when you’re childish, like yeah, it’s my turn with the slime, boo.

34 shares on WeChat this month:

The good news is that I’ve been finding new ways to waste my time.

22 shares on Telegram this month:

Oh no, we don’t go in there. That room belongs to the spiders.

49 shares on Discord this month:

The feminine urge to act clueless while knowing everything.

53 shares on Slack this month:

Calling a lobotomy a “lobobo” to fit in with Gen Z.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Blocking him isn’t enough. I want his favorite sports team to finish last every year for now and forever.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine hating me while I’m just over here being lazy and minding my own business.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I never sit around waiting for anyone except for the pizza delivery guy.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t scare me. You’re not a parking garage that I can’t figure out how to get out of.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Google Maps should not count towards my screen time. I’m not addicted to my phone, I’m disoriented.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!” Oh, it’s ok, you can just kill me next time.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My bear’s diarrhea problems are really starting to worry me. The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

“Alcohol and beautiful women” is apparently not an appropriate answer when you are asked about your weaknesses in a job interview.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The web is a great place to befriend people who you’d never let in your house.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,710

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

You should always wear a helmet when doing dangerous things or talking about politics.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

“I’m at the age where, if I use the wrong pillow at night, it hurts to turn my head the next day.”

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

If I was pregnant and people asked when I was due, I would say “What do you mean?”

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

In banana years, I am bread.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

When my friends are religious, I pretend not to notice.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

20s: LOL! 30s: OMG! 40s: WTF!

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Clearly, hell is empty, the demons are all here.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Please take your Apple Watch off if you are wearing a dress or formal attire. You look like a spy kid.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

That awkward moment when a zombie looking for brains walks right past you.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

A couple of years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Today, the real world is an escape from the internet.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

My hobbies include going home, wishing I was at home, and being at home.

Breaking via Threads:

My favorite part of parenting is when the kids are bored enough to entertain themselves, but getting to that point is excruciating.

Going viral on Reddit:

I’m not a morning person. I’m not even an afternoon person. I pretty much start functioning after 6pm.

Going bananas on Twitch:

I have absolutely no desire to stay in the loop.

Going viral on Twitch:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not so sure anymore.

Just landed via Slack:

Can everyone log off? I need some time alone right now.

Trending via TikTok:

Don’t invite me if there’s nowhere to sit down.

Going bananas on Reddit:

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!

Just landed via Facebook:

Why have abs when you can have kebabs?

Just shared via Pinterest:

Can’t stand British posts on my timeline. “I bought this for four squids and a halfpenny!” What the hell are you talking about?

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