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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

If you’re ever intimidated by someone just imagine them opening a Capri Sun.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Back to the Future and chill?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Men be like “I hate drama,” and then have love triangles, secret babies, a wife, side chick, ex that’s still around, breadcrumbs, and unhealed trauma.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

My husband is the do-it-yourself type. I asked him to take out the garbage and he said, “do it yourself.”

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Some say the world will end in fire. Others say in ice. Coming up next, our expert panel breaks down the arguments for each side…

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

I am so incredibly tired today. I think my shelf life has expired.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Your girlfriend needs two hours to get ready. But if you don’t have your shoes on when she’s ready, you’re the problem.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Today feels like a good day for a cheeseburger.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Your twenties are for destroying and betraying yourself for nothing.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Nutrition labels should include an “What if I ate the whole thing” section.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,408

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

“Do it scared!” Thanks, but I have done everything scared. When is it my turn to do it calm?

Making waves on Slack:

Scared to go on dates, cause what if I find the one and never be able to be single again.

Spotted on Discord:

A designated hitter in baseball is the one who has to hit for everyone in case the team is drunk.

Seen just now on Threads:

I will never stop being a quitter!

Making waves on Messenger:

“I’m in a really good place right now, not mentally. I’m just indoors with air conditioning.”

Spotted on Snapchat:

Good morning to the wind beneath my wings only.

Seen just now on Messenger:

“Love is in the air.” Wrong. Microplastics.

Spotted on Slack:

Cleaning the rocks of the earth one load of my kids’ laundry at a time.

Going viral on Discord:

Just remembered I can just get drunk after work instead of quitting. That was a close one.

Just landed via TikTok:

Feminism convinced women they could have it all. Now they’re 40, independent, and crying in a very nice but empty apartment.

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

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I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the struggle of modern parenting – trying to resist the temptation of naming your kids after household items or exotic foods just for the sake of Instagram fame. Imagine the chaos at roll call: 'Banjo, Parmesan, Chandelier, are you all present and accounted for?' It's a tough job being a parent, but someone's gotta do it without turning their child into a walking menu item."

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren’t happy.

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

64 shares on Twitch this month:

Just let your girlfriend be crazy, like who cares, bro.

22 shares on WeChat this month:

Men with bibles names be the worst type of people.

36 shares on WeChat this month:

Would rather walk around a shop 500 times to find something than ask a member of staff who works there like a normal person.

57 shares on Telegram this month:

People who read and do research will always sound crazy to people who don’t.

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

Some people are storms dressed like sunsets. Beautiful from a distance. Dangerous up close.

18 shares on X this month:

“Thanks for your payment!” Shut up. I paid that bill against my will.

16 shares on Threads this month:

Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.

19 shares on Telegram this month:

My life is based on a true story.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Seaweed is great for when you want to eat pure salt but wish it had the texture of slime.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I accidentally bought a pair of nose-cancelling headphones and now my glasses keep falling off.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Females be naked so much online, I be like, damn, I bet she look good in a sweater.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The easiest way to bundle your home and auto insurance is to live in your car.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Men playing hard to get when they’re already hard to want, is so funny to me.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Your Majesty” would be the best name for a cat.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The biggest first-world problem is having your favorite makeup product be discontinued.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,464

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Holiday dinners with family are like real life boss levels with the worst loot.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

What do you mean I overthink things (as I wonder if I hurt my dog’s feelings by liking cat videos on Instagram)?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

To-do list: bite the hand that feeds me, put all my eggs in one basket, kill two birds with one stone, let the cat out of the bag, think inside the box, burn bridges, walk on thin ice, play with fire.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Lady just asked me what “mansplaining” is. I think it’s a trap. We’ve been staring at each other in silence for half an hour.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

I have feelings for you but you have to guess which ones.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

They should have a special lane for texting and driving.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Call me constipated the way I don’t give a shit.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

There’s a cougar warning in my neighborhood, but apparently it’s just a big cat. I bought a case of wine coolers for nothing.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

It’s always “you’re so cute when you’re mad,” until the house is on fire.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Scientists just confirmed that our dreams were real in another reality.

Trending via TikTok:

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Happy return of “yes of course it’s bedtime, see how dark it is outside” to all parents who celebrate.

Just landed via Twitch:

I wonder what John Connor thinks now that everyone is embracing AI.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean, if you want an autograph or a picture just ask.

Making waves on WeChat:

A driver that delivers Indian food is called a curryer.

Trending via Threads:

Receipts are like: Take this tiny piece of paper home with you and throw it away.

Making waves on Slack:

He’s called James Cameron because he turns the camera on.

Spotted on WeChat:

Sometimes I wanna delete all my social media and throw my phone into a river.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Running from your problems is cardio.

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