Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs read receipts when you can keep your 'I didn't see your message' game strong? 🙈📵 Might as well maintain that aura of mystery and keep people guessing, am I right? 😉 #StealthyTexting"

communication, honesty, humor, i, myself, phone, read, read receipt, receipt, self, technology, tell

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Going to therapy is like having someone walk around your brain and going “ohhhh, this is how you’re living?!”

2 months ago

around, brain, going, growth, having, health, humor, insight, living, mental, mental health, personal, personal growth, self-discovery, someone, therapy, walk
I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

3 months ago

dream, dreams, frustration, hate, humor, i, lose, office, office humor, paper, pen, relatable, sanity, things, work
I love to sleep, I wish I could get paid to sleep.

2 months ago

dream, humor, i, job, love, paid, relaxation, sleep, wish
My favorite conspiracy theory is that things will get better.

2 months ago

better, conspiracy, conspiracy theory, favorite, humor, irony, optimism, sarcasm, theory, things
Sorry, I’m poor, I can’t afford to pay attention.

3 months ago

attention, cost, financial, humor, i, joke, pay, poor, self-deprecation, sorry, witty
When they know you know they did you dirty, they stay gone. And that’s the best thing.

2 months ago

behavior, best, betrayal, dirty, empowerment, gone, goodbye, honesty, know, relationships, self-awareness, stay, thing, toxic, toxic behavior

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Pinterest this month:

Being a little older, I am very fortunate to have someone call and check on me every day. He’s from India, and he’s very concerned about my car warranty.

65 shares on YouTube this month:

Why don’t straight men and lesbians hang out like straight women and gays do?

23 shares on YouTube this month:

Sometimes I get really mad at myself, but not like mad enough to fight myself or anything like that.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

Americans can choose from over 1,000 breakfast cereals but only two presidential candidates?

13 shares on X this month:

People thinking you’re dumb is one of the best advantages you can have.

41 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s been my experience that people seem a lot nicer before we get married.

51 shares on Instagram this month:

I could never be in the mafia, those guys stay up way to late.

41 shares on Twitch this month:

There’s only one way we’ll at least occasionally get normal elected officials and that’s if we pick them by random lottery.

18 shares on Twitch this month:

Today is a wonderful day to leave me alone.

36 shares on Slack this month:

If I’m too much for you, then go and find less.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

I love cute tiny purses, but I’m sad to say I can never be a cute tiny purse girl. I need to haul my hoard of objects everywhere I go, because what if….

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Fifteen years ago, makeup was all powders and dusts. But now, it’s all goo and liquid. From this, I can infer that by 2040, it will all be made of pigmented gases.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Wishing all the contacts in my phone “Merry Christmas, I hope you get what you deserve” and just letting that work itself out.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

People out here living double lives, and I’m barely even holding a single life together.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

When I worked as a restaurant critic, I wrote under a nom nom nom de plume.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

“The average CEO reads 52 books a year.” Yeah, because they’ve got nothing else to do.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

My one cat vomited her dinner and then the other cat went in and started eating it. And that, my friends, is what ChatGPT is to me.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Why touch grass when you can touch ass?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

I hate when people tell me I need to “get out of my comfort zone,” like I don’t even have a comfort zone; I am literally always uncomfortable.

Going viral on Instagram:

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

Just landed via Instagram:

I can’t believe there was a time in my life when someone had to make me take a nap.

Trending via TikTok:

My cat, who has no job and pays no rent, is apparently unhappy with his fancy new cat food, and I, for some reason, am currently on my way back to the store to rectify the matter.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The most avoided species of shark is the Loan.

Going viral on TikTok:

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Only thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m stupid.

Breaking via Messenger:

At my age, this “microsleep” can sometimes last hours.

Just shared via Reddit:

Lifting my wife’s wedding veil and finding out she’s Darth Maul.

Spotted on Threads:

Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t have read receipts on my phone because why would I tell on myself like that?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Going to therapy is like having someone walk around your brain and going “ohhhh, this is how you’re living?!”

I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

I love to sleep, I wish I could get paid to sleep.

My favorite conspiracy theory is that things will get better.

Sorry, I’m poor, I can’t afford to pay attention.

When they know you know they did you dirty, they stay gone. And that’s the best thing.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨