Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

AI won’t replace me because I’m already useless to society.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Throwing someone under the bus sounds hard, let’s just sell ’em down the river and call it a day.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Drinking a beer alone with terrible posture.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

There are no adults in the room. The cavalry is not coming. Everything was built by people no smarter than you.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

What genius called it road rage and not locomotive?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Satan: “Would you please stop sacrificing animals to me. I’m not running a zoo down here.”

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Giving every single movie I watch a five star review because it’s just such a joy to be alive.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Nowadays, people no longer look for a needle in a haystack, but for errors in a spreadsheet.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

I wish people knew how good I can sing when I’m alone in my car and in my shower.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Jan 31, 2026

3,324

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

You know what brought my home value up? Not having an angry man in it.

Trending via Pinterest:

Maybe if I spend another day alone in my room then something life-changing will suddenly happen to me!?

Trending via Instagram:

I would like even faster food.

Seen just now on X:

My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?

Making waves on Pinterest:

Sometimes I delete a post because I remember I’m too old for it.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

A girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Going viral on Instagram:

I bet the person who named the fireplace also named the waterfall.

Live now on YouTube:

Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Take me back to the night we met so I can never give you a chance.

Just landed via Messenger:

Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

I don’t think the makers of protein powder have ever had chocolate.

1 week ago

Clever humorous text about protein powder lacking chocolate flavor.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
“Apparently, the makers of protein powder missed out on the chocolate memo 🍫😆 Maybe they need a crash course in cocoa goodness before hitting the gym! 💪 #ChocoholicsAnonymous”

Fun Fact or Trivia:
Did you know that the flavor of chocolate protein powder was actually created in the 1950s by a chemist named Irwin H. Stone? 🍫💪 #ChocolateProteinPowderFact

chocolate, diet, ever, fitness, food, food humor, health, humor, i, irony, joke, makers, powder, protein, protein powder, think

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Discord this month:

I consider the second page of Google results the dark web.

31 shares on Discord this month:

When you’re over 40 and a part of your body starts hurting for no reason that is nature sending a “what ya doing?” text.

71 shares on Messenger this month:

Chores give kids a sense of responsibility while teaching relevant life skills such as procrastination.

15 shares on Twitch this month:

Venting to ChatGPT is crazy, y’all turning schizophrenic.

96 shares on Pinterest this month:

In retrospect, I guess “one drunken night of stupidity” isn’t the best response when a child asks you where babies come from.

78 shares on Facebook this month:

Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

65 shares on YouTube this month:

I always take responsibility for my actions when there is no one else around to blame.

28 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Ask your girlfriend for her ring size and then give her a personalized bowling ball.

12 shares on Telegram this month:

Show dominance by ending the year in bed.

20 shares on Snapchat this month:

Hangman is so great. No better way for a child to learn how to spell than by having to save a man from hanging to death.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

What a bleak life it must be if you’ve never had a drink shoot through your nose when you laugh.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Santa punched a hole in my wall because I left him soy milk.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Mindfulness is out. We’re doing drugs again.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

More foods should have boats, why should gravy have all the fun?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Waiting patiently for the alien invasion.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Hello, my voicemail is currently unavailable. To leave a message please speak slowly and clearly into the nearest toaster.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Butterflies all seem so nice but I’ll bet some of them are real bastards.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Cashier: Did you find everything? Me: Did you hide something?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

People who don’t have a dishwasher, where do they bang their shins?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is everyone’s main goal to get married and have kids? Like, don’t you guys want to do drugs in foreign countries?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,359

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Thoughts more intrusive than a 90s sitcom neighbor.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Not only is it not Friday, but it’s not even Thursday.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Might mess around and reply to all work emails with “make me”.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Are cassette tapes considered classical music yet?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Tolerate the lactose already, you heathen.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

It’s like 10,000 yawns when all you need is a nap.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

I am like the weather. Temporarily friendly.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Everyone has these three colleagues: The one who is always cold. The one who is always hungry. The one who is always tired. I am everything in one.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

If you feel fat and sad just know it’s someone out there fatter than you.

Trending via TikTok:

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Y’all liking my posts feels like a little forehead kiss.

Shared recently on X:

A vibrator is amazing but it doesn’t call me “good girl” unfortunately.

Seen just now on X:

No Botox. I need to furrow my brow when people say dumb things.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Tinder is a food delivery app if you’re good at it.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I can sing all the words to the intro song of DuckTales, what’s your flex?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Everything’s under control. I just don’t know whose.

Spreading quickly via X:

At my next job, I’m gonna lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want like everyone else with children.

Breaking via Telegram:

Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

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