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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡² has viewed:

Grok, is this true? Grok, am I original? Grok, am I the only one? Grok, am I sexual?

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡¬ has bookmarked:

Fake laughing with customers is actually a job skill.

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡΄ has shared:

People think I’m a minimalist, but I’m just broke.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡² has shared:

Who the hell keeps letting it be Monday again?

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¬ has viewed:

So sad. Elvis died before he could see the Lego movie. He woulda been like, ‘Mama, those blocks are movin’ and shakin.’

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡° has shared:

I’m glad nobody can see the face I make when I’ve just started the washing machine and then spot a sock on the floor.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡¦ has shared:

They say dress for the job you want, so I walk around dressed like Darth Vader.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ή has bookmarked:

Another customer getting a haircut started talking to my barber. Please don’t talk to my barber. You have your own.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡° has downloaded:

“Some things are better left unsaid,” I think to myself immediately after I hit send.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡¦ has viewed:

You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,302

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Broadcasted on Slack:

My mama didn’t raise a quitter, she raised a burnt out perfectionist who is sometimes bludgeoned into settling for mediocrity.

Trending via Facebook:

β€œHope you’re enjoying the sunshine!” No, I’m at a desk reading your email.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever taken an afternoon nap on the couch?

Going viral on TikTok:

The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.

Trending via YouTube:

I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I heard you like bad boys. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

That uncontrollable urge to hurt myself and others when a film’s subtitles are slightly out of sync.

Seen just now on X:

Wish my metabolism worked as fast as my anxiety.

Seen just now on Instagram:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” Yeah, well, I just analyzed it from a Marxist perspective, and it was pretty obvious.

Just landed via Discord:

My card got declined at the barbershop so they put all the hair in my mouth and squeezed me until it came out of my head.

I don’t think the makers of protein powder have ever had chocolate.

0
I don’t think the makers of protein powder have ever had chocolate.
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Commentary:
“Apparently, the makers of protein powder missed out on the chocolate memo πŸ«πŸ˜† Maybe they need a crash course in cocoa goodness before hitting the gym! πŸ’ͺ #ChocoholicsAnonymous”

Fun Fact or Trivia:
Did you know that the flavor of chocolate protein powder was actually created in the 1950s by a chemist named Irwin H. Stone? 🍫πŸ’ͺ #ChocolateProteinPowderFact

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

πŸŽ‰πŸ₯‚ New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Messenger this month:

Teens be like, β€œThis is the worst day of my life,” and it’s just that they were told to unload the dishwasher.

32 shares on Pinterest this month:

You can eat cheesecake for breakfast if you want to. No one can stop you. The police can’t even stop you.

53 shares on Facebook this month:

We’ve been talking about eating the rich for so long, they got over-ripe.

76 shares on TikTok this month:

A big shout-out to all the beekeepers. Our unstung heroes.

53 shares on Reddit this month:

Have you ever just restarted the dryer because you didn’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

70 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My mom asked me to hand out invitations for my brother’s surprise birthday party, and that’s when I realized he was the favorite twin.

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

That sound when you close the cupboard and hear something fall inside, that’s the sound of somebody else’s problem.

86 shares on YouTube this month:

My car accidentally drove to a burger shop again. I hate when it does that.

55 shares on X this month:

When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

31 shares on Twitch this month:

Social media can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Ho, ho, holy shit is Christmas stressful.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

When you realize a 9 to 5 is actually an 8 to 7, since you cannot teleport to work.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If I was lying down and someone came up and gave me tons of kisses and smooshed my face, I’d love it. I don’t know what my cat’s problem is.

20 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Being shy is so annoying. Why is my chest hurting me, because I need to speak in public?

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Don’t bother telling me where you’re from, I have no geographical knowledge and no sense of direction.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

There are rumors that someone came down the chimney last night. This is preposterous. I would have lost my mind.

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Apparently the term for migraine-sufferer is β€˜migraneur.’ Nice getting recognition as a kind of artisan of suffering.

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My teen being nice to me is getting really expensive.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Sick and tired of these 30 mins weekends.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,400

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ί has copied:

That β€œmeeting canceled” ping is a gift from the Gods.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡¬ has viewed:

My goal was to look good in a bikini this summer, but the call of the barbecue is stronger.

Someone from πŸ‡ΌπŸ‡Έ has copied:

SEO experts be like: I was eating a banana when my traffic increased, so bananas are definitely a ranking factor.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡¬ has viewed:

If you’re looking for a quiet place to talk to yourself, my DMs are open.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ή has bookmarked:

Does anyone know how to lower the difficulty setting on my life?

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡· has downloaded:

β€œWinter is literally the best season.” Okay, husky, go sit outside then.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡­ has downloaded:

My husband cleaned the kitchen for the first time in years. He’s in the living room, dressed in a suit, waiting for the award ceremony to commence.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ό has shared:

To cut a long story short, I became a film editor.

Someone from πŸ‡ΎπŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

August is technically summer, but spiritually fall.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡° has downloaded:

Oops, I accidentally healed too much. I am now uninterested in anyone but mαΊΉ.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Spotted on Instagram:

I have an addiction to pattern recognition.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Sometimes people come into your life β€” and they need to stop doing that.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Dear predictive text, I am tired of sending people β€œThanksgiving” when they send me a recipe or directions.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Oxygen was discovered in 1773. How did our ancestors breathe before then?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I love all the Winter Olympic events, sliding downhill on a piece of wood, sliding downhill on two pieces of wood, sliding downhill in a piece of wood. All amazing.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’m sick of blessings in disguise. I am ready for a blessing with absolutely no disguise whatsoever.

Just landed via YouTube:

Daffodil totally sounds like an insult, you blooming daffodil.

Live now on Snapchat:

β€œThere’s a particular type of insufferability that rich people from poor countries have, that I don’t yet fully know how to verbalize.”

Going bananas on Pinterest:

How much chocolate is too much chocolate before it is technically no longer a salad?

Making waves on Messenger:

Never signed up for a 401k cause there’s no way in hell I can run that far.

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