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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

If they can bring back the dire wolf, they can bring back Norm Macdonald.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Establish dominance over your children by whining louder.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Just gave my boyfriend an incorrect direction in the car, and he sighed and muttered to himself, “Never assign to malice what can be attributed to incompetence.”

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Can everyone please turn their A/C off during the day, we need that power to generate images of people with eight fingers.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

There should be a zoo that has people from every country in it.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

The Playstation is broken and the child has noticed that I live here too.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

What no one ever considers is that the kids are pretending to believe in Santa for the sake of the parents.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

I love when someone is like “I’m funny because I have trauma and it’s a coping mechanism” and it’s like “Okay, not to add to your trauma, but you’re not funny!”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 19, 2026

3,477

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

My mom and all her opinions are visiting this weekend.

Going bananas on X:

Every morning I wake up and think I have a hangover, but then I realize I didn’t drink, and this is just how I feel now.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I missed out on drowning tragically young in a suburban swimming pool.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Being skinny may be nice, but chicken nuggets are even nicer.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

What a time to be alive, it’s like the collapse of Rome, but with memes.

Just shared via YouTube:

Sending messages is easy. Living with them forever is the hard part.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

If a government has online beef with a pop star, it has already lost.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

Spotted on YouTube:

You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🎄🛍️ "Quick, someone sound the jingle bells and grab the tinsel! Only 365 shopping days left until Christmas – time to start panicking, folks! Remember, the early shopper gets the best deals… and a lot less stress come December 😉🎅"

alarm, Christmas, countdown, day, days, holiday, humor, i, left, management, procrastination, shopping, shopping day, time, time management, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Twitch this month:

Might mess around and reply, “That sounds like a you problem,” to every work email today.

26 shares on Threads this month:

They should invent a job that actually wants to hire you after you apply.

78 shares on YouTube this month:

“Can you multitask?” Yes, actually I am losing my mind and chilling at the same time.

54 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t understand why people have to “get ready for bed.” I am always ready for bed.

44 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“You’ve changed.” Yeah, I watched a new movie.

42 shares on Twitch this month:

Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

66 shares on Messenger this month:

How quickly family vacations go from “Omg, we only have 4 days left” to “Omg, we still have 4 days left”

35 shares on Telegram this month:

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, Guantanamo Bay.

94 shares on WeChat this month:

The only constant in my life are the accidental screenshots of my lock screen.

60 shares on WeChat this month:

Beer is Narcan for when you overdose on Microsoft Teams.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

“Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)” is now 40 years old. If you have an earworm now, you also have back pain.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Going to therapy is like having someone walk around your brain and going “ohhhh, this is how you’re living?!”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Money does not buy happiness, but it’s better to cry in a sports car than on a bicycle.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Look, 80’s kids went from Inspector Gadget to Terminator so we have a lot of mixed feelings about technology.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Speaker phone in public should be illegal.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Just bought a new umbrella for the person that finds it tomorrow.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to look for monsters under the bed. Today I know they are behind some people’s fake smiles.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s all fun and games until it’s 10 p.m., you’re all cozy in bed, and you remember you still have laundry in the washer.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Sleep with each other, or someone else will!

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is basically avoiding people who have seen you naked, whilst trying to find new people to see you naked.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,611

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

There are only two kinds of people, and I avoid them both.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

I’m bad at being sad. Three minutes in, and I’m already making fun of my situation.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Maybe you should embark on a strange journey.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

I have three full closets of nothing to wear.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

The introverted urge to spend a week alone at home after many holidays and family gatherings.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Sorry I’m late — I was standing in the shower, thinking about stuff.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Denying the existence of anyone that annoys me.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

People will scroll on their phones for 6 hours a day and wonder how other people can watch a movie every day.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Notice how ghosts never wear fitted sheets?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I finally have glasses, which is great because I needed one more thing to frantically search for every morning.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

Making waves on Reddit:

Reading about two insects who fall in love in Italy. It’s a Rome ants novel.

Going viral on Messenger:

When a girl is done with you, she talks to you like she’s in HR or something.

Broadcasted on X:

Shooting a gun in the air to get everyone’s attention, then immediately getting shy and sheepishly twisting my shoe in the dirt and blinking bashfully.

Trending via Reddit:

You can tell a lot about someone by the stuff you make up in your head about them.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Arab perfumes have zero chill… the entire street knows you’ve arrived.

Live now on X:

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I mostly stopped responding to emails three years ago, and aside from various consequences, it’s been fine.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

My body is a “wonder what happened” land.

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