Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Thank God my pets can’t talk. They simply know too much.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t remember if I took my pills, but I can’t check because I can’t remember where I put my glasses.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I’ve never completed a marathon, but I’ve listened to my mom tell a story, so don’t talk to me about endurance.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

The question “how is work” really pisses me off. Work is work, bro, I don’t know what else you want me to say.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

“But it’s summer,” is going to be my excuse for everything from now until the end of September.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

I don’t believe the phrase “if they wanted to, they would,” because I want to, and I don’t.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Who are these people that buy unsalted butter on purpose?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Gimme coffee or I’ll sleep amok!

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

“You’re an adult, maybe it’s time to stop fighting with people on the internet.”

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Your honor, I have a role to play as the black sheep of the family.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2406 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,568

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,568

Updated

22 minutes ago

Users Online

3,449

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

My husband said I use a lot of makeup, so I showed him some makeup tutorials on TikTok and I don’t think he’ll be making that mistake again.

Just landed via Snapchat:

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Feelings are like children. You don’t want them driving the car, but you shouldn’t stuff them in the trunk either.

Just shared via Threads:

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

Just landed via Instagram:

I got 99 problems and money could solve at least 69 of them.

Spotted on X:

I’ve never seen a Cybertruck with anyone in the passenger seat.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I’m one of those lucky people that can eat whatever they want and not put on any clothes.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

If an alien is 60 million light years away and is watching us through a telescope, it will see dinosaurs.

Just landed via X:

Damaged inside, but outside we keep it gangsta.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Money talks, but all mine ever says is goodbye.

I finally became a butterfly, and everyone’s already asking what’s next.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Just flew out of the cocoon and already getting asked for a five-year plan. 🦋✨📈

achievement, asking, butterfly, growth, humor, humor about growth, i, impatience, next, transformation

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

How dare you say I’m crazy on the eve of my cat’s wedding?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

No place in this world is as dark as my archived chats on WhatsApp.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

“Huh” is 94% of my vocabulary.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Screw you guys, I’m gonna go make friends with the crows.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24 hours, I need more time to be ready for Monday.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

That fight could’ve been an email.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

I be having full arguments in my head, then walk around mad like someone actually said something to me.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

If you’re looking for a wild woman, I just took all of my vitamins in one gulp.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

Call me a glitch, cause I’m definitely messing with your system.

Trending via WhatsApp:

If I was in Jaws, instead of wishing for a bigger boat, I probably would have just asked for a smaller shark.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I don’t hide from my problems, I just ignore them until they lose interest.

Making waves on Telegram:

Broke my work phone. I can’t talk on it anymore. I should have done this a long time ago.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I believe that emails are trying to tell us something.

Trending via Snapchat:

Every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by asking if they’re drinking enough water.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Getting so tangled in the sex shop bead curtain that they have to put me down like a horse with a broken leg.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Okay, seen enough, someone put a blanket over my cage.

Spotted on Messenger:

I get unreasonably happy when a YouTube video has subtitles that aren’t auto-generated.

Seen just now on Messenger:

The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I finally became a butterfly, and everyone’s already asking what’s next.

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Nobody sighs louder than an unemployed, debt-free dog who spends at least 16 hours a day sleeping.

It’s a good thing that not everyone has a smartphone. We also need people who honk when the lights turn green.

Not gonna lie, I just assume everyone is AI now.

Calling a lobotomy a “lobobo” to fit in with Gen Z.

It’s cold and dark outside, made me think of you.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to stay up all night.

But babe, that’s my emotional support Lord of the Rings Extended Edition.

I’m actually breaking generational curses by surviving my 20s without marrying a man who hates me.

I’m equally comfortable holding a guitar as I am holding a baby, I just hold them both by the neck.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Imagine hearing the ice cream truck music, but at night.

When I dance, people say it reminds them of a wild dog chasing its tail.

Marriage tip: If your wife goes silent in the middle of an argument, you probably shouldn’t ask if you can go back to mowing the lawn.

Okay, seen enough, someone put a blanket over my cage.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Future generations will never have to live in unprecedented times, because we’re precedenting the Hell out of everything right now.

Bands are always like “here’s another song”. Yeah, no shit, that’s pretty much all you do.

If you ever think you can solve a parenting problem by doing the opposite of what didn’t work last time, the universe will just be like “Lol, nice try, dummy!”

I want a small, tasteful wedding. No family. No friends. No groom. Just me eating a big cake.

WhatsApp calls should indicate whose internet is poor to avoid unnecessary arguments.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

I finally became a butterfly, and everyone’s already asking what’s next.

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏