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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Due to personal reasons, I won’t be dropping it like it’s hot anymore.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

The ultimate student paradox: skipping class to avoid stress, only to stress about skipping class!

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Superwoman: Single. Batman: Single. Wonder Woman: Single. I get it now, I’m single because I’m a superhero.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

It’s not getting better or worse, but rather a third mysterious thing.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

“You shouldn’t let your cat jump on the counter”, my cat could take out a loan in my name if he wanted to.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Okay, seen enough, someone put a blanket over my cage.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Airlines when they need to change your flight: here’s a complimentary napkin. Airlines when you need to change your flight: that’ll be $8700.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Home is where you trust the toilet seats.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Can someone please fix the algorithm of my life?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,270

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

Babe, is everything OK? You’ve barely accomplished anything at all in your entire life.

Seen just now on Discord:

I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Today I was in a taxi, and the taxi driver said, “I love my job. I am my own boss, nobody tells me what to do!” Then I said, “Turn left.”

Spotted on YouTube:

We like to vilify hot people, but it’s important to know that people who aren’t hot are also terrible.

Just landed via Instagram:

On the upside, my kids are helping with the dishes. On the downside, my kids are helping with the dishes.

Going bananas on Facebook:

My phone and it’s charger are in a situationship and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Clothes too dirty for the closet, but too clean for laundry. Welcome to: the chair.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

A couple of birds are outside fighting. Wait. They’ve quieted down. There’s a third bird. I think he may be their therapist.

Going viral on WeChat:

Has anyone else noticed that it’s hard to do things when you don’t want to?

Spotted on Slack:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need anything from Amazon today.

I finally became a butterfly, and everyone’s already asking what’s next.

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Witty text about transformation and ambition, humorous and playful in tone.

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Commentary:
Just flew out of the cocoon and already getting asked for a five-year plan. 🦋✨📈

achievement, asking, butterfly, growth, humor, humor about growth, i, impatience, next, transformation

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Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Discord this month:

You’re never alone. There’s mold.

28 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s not fair when attractive people are also good at things.

51 shares on WeChat this month:

Interrupt my sleep and I’ll interrupt your breathing.

60 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m already spoiled… please don’t come into my life trying to unspoil me.

15 shares on Instagram this month:

Why is incognito mode always associated with freaky shit? I use it to search up very obvious questions, so there’s no record of me looking dumb.

72 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Single introverts be like, “If it’s meant to be, my future love will simply teleport into my living room.”

52 shares on Telegram this month:

“The only thing standing between you and your dreams is you!” Yeah, have you met me? That’s gonna be a problem.

59 shares on X this month:

Why a bug would spend such a long fraction of its short life immobile on my ceiling beats me.

94 shares on YouTube this month:

Hi, I’m online. Would you like to argue for an hour about whether a hotdog is a sandwich?

17 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m an over-explainer (I explain things too much).

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Whoever came up with the name wallpaper really nailed it.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

My ex is somewhere telling his new girlfriend how bad I was, and she’s smiling, thinking she made it in life. Two idiots.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Changing my passwords regularly has certainly helped protect my accounts. Against me.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

If someone drunk texts you, appreciate it. They’ve thought of you when they can barely think straight.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Not to brag, but I can trip over things that aren’t even there!

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Imagine earning a science degree then having to be a meteorologist who announces the prophecy of a groundhog.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

The only thing that could heal me is a memory loss.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

At this point, I’m not sure if my house is a mess or my mess is a house.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Another day of meaningless suffering. Let’s see what awaits us tomorrow.

Just shared via Slack:

The grass isn’t really greener over there; that’s just a filter.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

A micromanager is someone you pay to watch your top talent walk away.

Freshly posted on Slack:

You realize you’re getting old when your body parts start fighting over which one hurts first.

Making waves on YouTube:

Me passing someone: you slow mule! Me being passed: okay, speed racer!

Making waves on Snapchat:

The first 7 days of the week aren’t for me.

Live now on Discord:

Don’t tell me about your wild weekend. My TV remote died and I switched the batteries around, and now it’s working.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Why is nobody questioning the quietness of the cosmos?

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’m at the age where using the wrong pillow makes you feel like you broke your neck.

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Activity Log ✨

I finally became a butterfly, and everyone’s already asking what’s next.

Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.

When planning dinner, remember that ice-cream has both calcium and protein.

I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

Notice how Lorde has a song called “Tennis Court” and not “Pickleball Court”? Tired of y’all pushing that fake sport.

If Liverpool play Real Madrid right now, both teams will lose the game.

Chuck Norris got shot. The bullet is in critical condition.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I finally became a butterfly, and everyone’s already asking what’s next.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.

When planning dinner, remember that ice-cream has both calcium and protein.

I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

Notice how Lorde has a song called “Tennis Court” and not “Pickleball Court”? Tired of y’all pushing that fake sport.

If Liverpool play Real Madrid right now, both teams will lose the game.

Chuck Norris got shot. The bullet is in critical condition.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨