Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

“You’re so quiet.” Thanks, I’m not comfortable around you.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Watching someone else control the computer and doing it differently than you would, is one of life’s greatest challenges.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

I wish men had sluttier outfit options. Because why am I in a mini skirt, and you’re in a quarter zip?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Don’t forget, you are someone’s weird colleague.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Sunday is my favorite day where I pretend I’m going to do something productive.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

The only guarantee in life is, if you run errands looking like shit, you will run into everyone you haven’t seen in months.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

The human body is incredible. It’s like, “Oh, you’re stressed and sad? Here, enjoy this acne.”

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

I’d be a terrible masseuse. After 5 minutes, I’d be like, “Okay, my turn.”

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

If they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice, and make your exit as dramatic as a Netflix season finale.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,616

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

Was complaining to my mom about my daughter’s attitude and she told me I should’ve named her payback.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’ve added lunges to my workout routine. It’s a big step forward.

Just landed via Threads:

The urge to buy people gifts they’ve mentioned they liked once.

Breaking via Discord:

I have absolutely no desire to stay in the loop.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I don’t mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.

Shared recently on Threads:

Can drunk people actually not control their actions or is it just an excuse to do some crazy stuff?

Live now on Slack:

I drive safer when there’s food in my passenger’s seat than when there’s a person sitting there.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Whales go days, sometimes weeks at a time without giving anyone their opinion.

Live now on Twitch:

Trying to work outside on a laptop is like sunbathing on a melting ice cube.

Just landed via Slack:

Panties is such a weird word. Panties. I can’t say it sexy.

I finally became a butterfly, and everyone’s already asking what’s next.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Just flew out of the cocoon and already getting asked for a five-year plan. 🦋✨📈

achievement, asking, butterfly, growth, humor, humor about growth, i, impatience, next, transformation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

0

2 months ago

before, exercise, fitness, humor, i, joke, motivation, say, sit-up, six-pack, thinking, wishful, wishful thinking
I hope your spoon slides into your soup.

0

2 months ago

food, hope, humor, i, kitchen, soup, spoon, wish
Touch my butt, not my coffee.

0

2 months ago

boundary, butt, cheek, coffee, humor, personal, personal space, playful, space, touch
Men only have money the first month of dating, that’s recruitment budget, never confuse it with operational budget.

0

2 months ago

budget, confuse, dating, finance, humor, men, money, month, never, only, operational, recruitment, relationship
You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.

0

1 month ago

cold, humor, know, observation, outside, weather
Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term happy with a twist.

0

2 months ago

call, crazy, happy, humor, me, people, positivity, self-perception, twist

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Some people are wise; some are otherwise.

13 shares on Telegram this month:

When people say they’re speechless, I always hope they mean it, but they never stop talking.

33 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m a bit of a traditionalist, so on my birthday, I smear my body with embryonic fluid.

92 shares on Telegram this month:

No dating apps this year. Just going to walk around and smile at people and send an occasional unhinged DM.

24 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s like 10,000 yawns when all you need is a nap.

47 shares on Reddit this month:

No one is more stressed than someone who has seen their potential and knows they aren’t living up to it.

92 shares on Instagram this month:

My nickname in high school was “who?”

55 shares on TikTok this month:

I feel a deep connection to librarians because I also love telling people to shut up.

41 shares on Telegram this month:

This is a horrible time in history to be a decent human being.

20 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The dopamine hit of getting an Outlook meeting cancellation is unrivaled.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next thing you know, you’re staring out of a window for no reason.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

A hacker called me and said he had all my passwords. I got a pen and paper and said ‘Thank God for that, what are they?’

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Whatever happened calorically this weekend can never happen again.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Just once I’d like to buy a house plant that didn’t have the lifespan of a soap bubble.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

I hate when I finish a show and don’t know what to do with my life.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped class.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

“You never text back.” No, I be reading texts from the notification bar, then forget to text back.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

My step counter doesn’t judge. For him, steps to the fridge are just as valuable as a walk.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by asking if they’re drinking enough water.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

“You’re acting weird!” I’m not acting.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The more I practice, the luckier I get.

Shared recently on Slack:

The opposite of “taking candy from a baby” is “putting sunscreen on a toddler.”

Live now on LinkedIn:

Stealing hoodies is for amateurs. Steal his car like a real woman.

Trending via Telegram:

Has anyone ever died from waiting for a group of people to decide what they want to eat.

Breaking via TikTok:

In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.

Making waves on Discord:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next thing you know, you’re staring out of a window for no reason.

Spotted on TikTok:

I’ve learned a lot over the years, but the best advice I can ever give someone is never buy a used harmonica.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

If you’ve never had a cheeseburger change your mood, you’ve never had a cheeseburger.

Live now on YouTube:

“God has a plan for you!” Okay, well, I have some notes for him.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I finally became a butterfly, and everyone’s already asking what’s next.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

I hope your spoon slides into your soup.

Touch my butt, not my coffee.

Men only have money the first month of dating, that’s recruitment budget, never confuse it with operational budget.

You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.

Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term happy with a twist.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨