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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡พ๐Ÿ‡ช has copied:

Dancing alone in your home is its own kind of therapy.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡บ has copied:

I always mean what I say, I don’t always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช has shared:

Back to the Future and chill?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ด has bookmarked:

Not now, Iโ€™m busy doing tax crimes on my abacus.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has bookmarked:

Itโ€™s called a โ€œsports carโ€ because getting out of one after 40 is a physical event.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฌ has downloaded:

Life isn’t funny, why should my posts be?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช has downloaded:

Remember when we were young and said “I’ll sleep when i’m older”? Well, now we can’t when we want to.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ท has viewed:

Every morning when that damn alarm clock goes off, I just feel it so much: A million-dollar inheritance suits me much better than an office job.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ป has copied:

Thereโ€™s nothing I hate more than being comfy in bed and suddenly needing to pee.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has viewed:

At the end of the day, itโ€™s just me and me.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,523

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Just landed via Slack:

Whenever you are feeling down, remember you’re the sperm that won.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Blood pressure too high to chase these hoes.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Ratatouille is hilarious because the villain wasn’t even evil; he just didn’t want food cooked by rats?!?

Trending via TikTok:

Livin’ la vida vodka!

Shared recently on Snapchat:

A garlic a day keeps people away.

Making waves on X:

This entire “presidency” is like being tied to a chair and watching a toddler play with a loaded pistol.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Halloween is the only day you can ghost someone and blame it on being festive.

Spotted on Discord:

This is an awful time to be an educated person.

Just shared via Slack:

Whatever yโ€™all heard about me, Iโ€™m way worse.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Stopped using exclamation points in work messages so my coworkers know they’ve killed my spirit.

I had bad luck with women twice. The first left me, the second stayed.

Witty quote about relationship misfortune with a humorous twist.
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Commentary:
Looks like with women, you either strike out swinging or get hit by a curveball! ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธโšพ๏ธ It's all about finding that perfect balance, right? ๐Ÿ˜‰

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Social Media Stars โญ

89 shares on Pinterest this month:

I have to pee. Story of my life.

12 shares on Discord this month:

I am simply too intelligent to be happy.

84 shares on Reddit this month:

If you turn your phone upside down, the stock market is actually doing quite well.

69 shares on X this month:

Extroverts love our energy. Thatโ€™s why they suck it out of us.

100 shares on Snapchat this month:

Who called it a period tracker instead of a madvent calendar?

44 shares on Facebook this month:

My retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding a buried treasure at some point.

64 shares on YouTube this month:

Aura is the real business card.

63 shares on Slack this month:

Interpretive dance is the best way to answer stupid questions.

44 shares on Telegram this month:

Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

97 shares on Telegram this month:

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally text them, and they will respond.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

23 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Losing weight in your 40โ€™s: LOL!

15 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Once again I feel like I slept in a washing machine.

11 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

His palm trees are Serengeti, destination wedding, luggage is heavy. Thereโ€™s vomit on his tux already, Dollar store confetti.

24 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Well, well, well, if it isnโ€™t that thing Iโ€™ve been ignoring until it became a giant problem.

15 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Planking is the only time we appreciate time.

10 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

We got our carpet cleaned today, so Iโ€™m just waiting for the dog to throw up.

14 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I think you misunderstood โ€“ when I said, โ€œLet me look into it,โ€ that meant, โ€œI donโ€™t know exactly how to tell you no just yet.โ€

11 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Sledding is the best! (until you have to walk back up the hill)

14 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Who is this Rorschach guy and where did he get all the pictures of my parents fighting?

12 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Iโ€™m not a fan of camping, if I wanted to sleep outside I wouldnโ€™t pay my mortgage.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,613

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฎ has shared:

The second date is you watching me parallel park and trying not to have a stroke.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ญ has bookmarked:

The reason the world felt like a better place during your childhood is because you were a child.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡น has shared:

Forced to say โ€œitโ€™s okayโ€ instead of throwing a chair at them.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ช has shared:

The way that we’re constantly told not to eat silica gel makes me suspect that it contains all the world’s forbidden knowledge.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ช has shared:

I have never seen a single โ€œwhen animals attackโ€ video that I wasnโ€™t rooting for the animal.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡น has shared:

Babe, are you okay? You haven’t touched your dark humor all day.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has downloaded:

Someone was saying that social media makes you miss out on your real life, but have you seen real life?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ธ has copied:

โ€œYou like talking to yourself?โ€ God forbid I seek advice from an expert.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡จ has bookmarked:

Got a job rejection, saw the company post the same job again, so I applied again. I decide when we’re done.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ณ has bookmarked:

Once my school teacher lectured me for unacceptable behavior. Thatโ€™s 30 mins of sleep I am never getting back

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Be the reason why your local woods are haunted.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

That pen in the junk drawer that hasnโ€™t been used in four years picked today to have an attitude.

Breaking via X:

Come on, brain, release the happy chemicals.

Making waves on WeChat:

Very disappointed to find out that the universal remote control I bought does not control the universe.

Seen just now on Threads:

If she wants the moon, you get her the moon.

Just landed via Discord:

I touched grass today, and Iโ€™m still like this. Please advise.

Breaking via X:

If you arenโ€™t sleeping with me, then youโ€™re sleeping against me.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

If I was a mythical creature, I’d be a Sighclops.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

If you tell lies about me, I’ll tell the truth about you.

ยฉ 2026. All rights reserved.

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