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Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

The most refreshing way to fight your personal demons is to make demonade.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

My morning routine is basically just me convincing myself not to go back to bed.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Crazy how people can merge perfectly at McDonald’s, but not on the highway.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

It’s important to follow your significant other around the grocery store, not helping, and only hovering like the specter of death.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

I wonder if this next thunderstorm is thinking of me, too.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

I feel like I’m in season 5 of my life, and the writers are just making ridiculous shit happen to keep it interesting.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will be acting weird today.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s, where the hair shows up uninvited and looks pissed to be here.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

My mother still has some really ugly things from the 90s. My older brother, for example.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

“Help us improve Instagram!” Nice try, fix your own damn website.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

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17,766

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15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Facebook:

I celebrate 4/20 on 1/5 because I know how to reduce fractions.

Shared recently on Twitch:

This summer went by so fast, I didn’t even get a chance to lose any weight.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Proverbs are so mean. Like, I don’t deserve any worm because I woke up at 11am? Like, no worm at all?

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Hello, boyfriend? It’s me, girlfriend, from dating?

Just landed via Pinterest:

Your ex is ruining someone else’s life now. You are safe.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

We should all start texting each other like old time explorers. ‘Dearest friend, I have survived another week. The horrors persist.’

Broadcasted on Instagram:

The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Why did they call it long distance running and not fardio?

Just shared via Telegram:

Imagine if every time you ate a grape you’d hear a soft voice whisper “that was my son…”

Making waves on X:

Money saved by using public transport instead of an Uber is paid for with your time and mental health instead.

I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Humorous text about the chaos of finding ice cream in your lap during cleaning.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sometimes life has a funny way of reminding you that cleaning can wait but ice cream is always a priority! 🍦📺 #IceCreamOverChores"

bowl, cleaning, comfort, cream, distraction, guilty, guilty pleasure, hate, house, housework, i, ice, ice cream, lap, opera, pleasure, soap, soap opera, unexpected

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66 shares on X this month:

Anytime someone throws a Great Gatsby themed party, I have to assume they never finished the book.

70 shares on Slack this month:

Moving is legitimately one of the worst human experiences.

97 shares on Telegram this month:

He died doing what he did best, trying to get a croc to wear a Croc.

71 shares on Reddit this month:

Has anyone else noticed that it’s hard to do things when you don’t want to?

39 shares on Reddit this month:

When the exam is so hard that you look out the window to appreciate nature.

41 shares on Twitch this month:

Throwing a spear at your enemy is a bad gamble. If you miss, you have no spear now and he’s just fine. He’s better than fine; now he has a spear.

76 shares on Discord this month:

I lost my composure in 1992. I haven’t seen it since.

60 shares on Discord this month:

He doesn’t realize it yet, but this Saturday, I’ll be asking him to untangle 400 feet of Christmas lights.

90 shares on TikTok this month:

A fun wedding bit is to sit next to a random guest, point to the bride or groom & whisper, “it should’ve been you”

75 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Perhaps we should have further developed natural intelligence before venturing into artificial intelligence.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Name a better duo than sad and depressed.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Do cats have a sense of causation between grooming themselves and coughing up hairballs, or do they think it’s just an annoying separate thing which just happens to them sometimes?

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Ever look at someone and think you could spend the rest of your life saying “What?” to this person?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

I’m a social media influencer in that I’ve influenced people to ignore me on social media.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

The goose: Canada’s most violent saxophone.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

You look like the type of person that would fart in bed and Dutch Oven yourself.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

As someone who lives on earth, rising sea levels are alarming. But as someone who has always wanted to be a mermaid, I’m intrigued.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

I’ve started rejecting all cookies instead of accepting them. I don’t even know what it means, but I’ve had enough.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

I asked myself if I was the problem and we said no.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

As an outsider, what’s your view on intelligence?

Going viral on Twitch:

I voted for the candidate on the last yard sign I saw before pulling in. Slow children at play will lead us into the future.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

To steal from one is plagiarism, to steal from many is research.

Seen just now on Discord:

Unlocking new levels of iron deficiency.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Yes, my date did get up and leave during dinner, but luckily she hadn’t finished her food.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Y’all liking my posts feels like a little forehead kiss.

Seen just now on Discord:

I talk to my dog like she’s human and, like most humans, she looks at me like I’m an idiot.

Just shared via Discord:

If you wear glasses, we expect a lot from you academically, especially if your glasses have a rope.

Just shared via X:

Back in the good old days, we didn’t have to trim our toenails, they just got wore down naturally from running from dinosaurs.

Trending via Telegram:

Being a little freak is my love language.

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Activity Log ✨

I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

I have more photos of food on my phone than I do of my children.

Several of my internal organs hurt, but I’m 100% sure it’s not my body trying to tell me something.

You can’t get a good night’s sleep anymore because of woke.

If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

Just another day of not being hot and rich.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Feeling lonely? Just glue a coffee cup to the roof of your car. Everyone will wave to you.

I have more photos of food on my phone than I do of my children.

Several of my internal organs hurt, but I’m 100% sure it’s not my body trying to tell me something.

You can’t get a good night’s sleep anymore because of woke.

If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

Just another day of not being hot and rich.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨