Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

I love how women can go from obsessed to not interested at all when a man makes that one wrong move.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Don’t give up on your dreams. If cauliflower can be pizza and zucchini can be noodles, you too can be anything you want.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

I put the “sexy” in “dyslexic.”

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

I hope this 17th text in a row with no response finds you well.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Sorry, I had feelings. I’ll replace them with jokes right away.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

I am single, please disturb me!

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Instead of cleaning my house, I just watch episodes of hoarders on TV and then I think “Wow, my house looks awesome!”

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

If I were a mouse, I’d say things like “cheesed to meet you”.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

If you inject Botox into a raisin, does it turn back into a grape?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,951

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Somewhere there’s a girl ignoring 15 guys for a guy who gives her no attention.

Just shared via YouTube:

People who don’t admit their mistakes disgust me. I would absolutely admit to a mistake if I had ever made one.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I wish companies would use pictures of models looking frazzled and exhausted on their websites, so I can get a real idea of what their clothes will look like on me.

Spotted on Messenger:

Hairless cats look like the devil screwed up a possession.

Going viral on Messenger:

The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.

Going viral on Slack:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped class.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

British people be like “It’s Chewsday, innit?”

Just shared via Discord:

When one door closes, lock it securely, along with all your other doors and windows, before any inspirational quotes get in.

Just shared via TikTok:

Maybe coffee is addicted to me?

Going viral on X:

I like my men like I like my coffee, secretly alcoholic.

I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sometimes life has a funny way of reminding you that cleaning can wait but ice cream is always a priority! 🍦📺 #IceCreamOverChores"

bowl, cleaning, comfort, cream, distraction, guilty, guilty pleasure, hate, house, housework, i, ice, ice cream, lap, opera, pleasure, soap, soap opera, unexpected

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, all nighter, humor, i, means, night, pee, sleep
My teenager has really expensive taste for someone who can’t afford to buy their own toothpaste.

0

1 month ago

afford, affordability, buy, expensive, expensive taste, humor, own, parenting, someone, taste, teenager, teenager humor, toothpaste
It’s wild that “Jason” is a name from ancient Greece, because it sounds like it was invented in Florida in 1983.

0

2 months ago

1983, ancient, ancient Greece, Florida, greece, historical, historical reference, humor, Jason, name, name humor, origin, reference, sounds, wild, word, word origin
Dear phone, if you didn’t light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn’t have died so quickly!

0

2 months ago

battery, death, died, frustration, humor, light, low, low battery, me, notifications, phone, technology, tell, times
When the executioner asks me what my final words are, I’m just going to start filibustering.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, death, executioner, filibustering, final, final words, humor, irony, just, me, procrastination, words
God’s plan for me is super weird so far.

0

2 months ago

fate, God, gods, humor, life, me, plan, super, weird

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on Telegram this month:

Today my coworker asked if I wanted to hold her new baby and neither of us were prepared for me saying why?

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Nobody calls you old more than people 2 years younger than you.

45 shares on Facebook this month:

You befriend a guy and a few days later he’s like “I wanna talk to you about something”. Please, God, let it be about the economy.

15 shares on Reddit this month:

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

34 shares on Telegram this month:

Having a pool is so neat. All of your friends are suddenly interested to catch up on the hottest days of the year.

34 shares on WeChat this month:

Saying “sounds good to me” in a meeting then quickly realizing a lot more was expected from you.

22 shares on TikTok this month:

Having sex with the same person gets freakier and nastier each time.

32 shares on YouTube this month:

It whistles, doesn’t it? Your head when it’s windy.

87 shares on Telegram this month:

Jesus turned water into wine. I turn food into fertilizer. We are not the same.

76 shares on Threads this month:

I find pleasure in closing tabs in my wife’s brain. This worry… done. That task… complete.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

My family was too poor for a gene pool, so we soaked our genes in rye whiskey.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

You cannot trust me at a zoo because I’ll release the animals.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

I be having full arguments in my head, then walk around mad like someone actually said something to me.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Please respond to my telepathic messages.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

You don’t have to be crazy to be friends with me. I also train people.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Yoga is just slow motion breakdancing.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Messenger:

I’m accused of being a plagiarist. Their words, not mine.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I don’t mind being fully naked or my top half being naked, but I hate being naked from the waist down only. This is why I could never be a cartoon duck.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Harmonicas are basically for people who like to hear music while they spit.

Seen just now on YouTube:

How come all the single people don’t need no one, and all the married ones need two?

Shared recently on Reddit:

On the whole, people are getting smarter. I remember when they had to put “The End” on the screen, so people would know the movie was over.

Going viral on Twitch:

“I have a date with destiny.” Yeah well, I’m in a long-term relationship with the consequences of my actions.

Spotted on Threads:

Life is giving me no lemons. It’s throwing watermelons.

Trending via Instagram:

The retirement age needs to be lowered to 40, I’ve had enough.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

You can always gauge my mood by the type of animal videos I share: sweet puppy videos or a cat smacking the shit out of someone.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The thief who stole my iPhone could face time.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

My teenager has really expensive taste for someone who can’t afford to buy their own toothpaste.

It’s wild that “Jason” is a name from ancient Greece, because it sounds like it was invented in Florida in 1983.

Dear phone, if you didn’t light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn’t have died so quickly!

When the executioner asks me what my final words are, I’m just going to start filibustering.

God’s plan for me is super weird so far.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨