Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.
  • It’s like ten thousand tweets when all you need is a life.
  • I need to eat healthier but donuts exist.
  • I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I’m the one with the money.
  • My personal brand is being the guest at a wedding who can’t dance but puts in a noticeable effort.
  • Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.