Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.
  • They should invent a self-checkout where someone else scans the items and puts them in a bag.
  • I just want someone to miss me the way my 3 year old nephew misses me when I go to the washroom.
  • I accidentally said “large” instead of “venti” at Starbucks and now the cops are here.
  • My eye doctor is alarmingly young and when he said he thought I had a chalazion or a hordoleum, I thought he might be referencing Pokémon.
  • Coffee ain’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat batteries.