Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

“So if I had kids, my kids would never…” Spoiler: Yes, they would.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

It actually is crazy how many people I know would benefit from being visited by three ghosts.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Occupation: the ugly friend!

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

You can’t ’48 Laws of Power’ me.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

People my age are raising children, and I’m just here trying to bribe myself with treats into doing my own chores.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Processed food was literally designed for you to eat. Organic is just some crap they found on the ground somewhere.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Type of hangover that makes you understand why normies spend $25 for a poor soul to bike a bagel to them.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Conflicts may arise but always remember to be the bitter person.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

355 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,624

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,624

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,308

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

Ironically, the Internet was invented to save time.

Making waves on Instagram:

Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Imagine falling in love with me then finding out I’m a slow walker.

Just shared via Telegram:

What I want for dinner hasn’t been invented yet.

Just landed via TikTok:

The advantage of being an identical twin: you only need one gym contract.

Just shared via TikTok:

Once this pandemic ends, I’m legit quitting video games and getting a girlfriend for real.

Going viral on Facebook:

Many men also have a walk-in closet. For them, it’s just called a floor.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Tattoo idea for men: spider webs in the corners of the receding hairline.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I be outside telling people I don’t got social media when they ask.

Going viral on Discord:

My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs tissues when you have a dog? 🐶❤️ Your furry friend is just helping you with your hydration levels! #DogHugsAreTheBest"

connection, dog, dogs, emotion, every, eyes, hugging, i, leaking, lean, love, me, pet, start, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

2 months ago

account, attraction, dating, hot, humor, Instagram, man, me, media, poorly, run, social, social media
Either the tables are going to turn, or I’m going to flip them.

6 months ago

expression, flip, going, humor, idiom, table, tables, turn, wordplay
Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

2 months ago

before, drawer, empty, food, fridge, humor, kitchen, life, maintenance, own, procrastination, something, vegetable
Don’t study, get slutty!

3 months ago

advice, dating, fun, humor, party, slutty, study, youth
There’s nothing scarier than sneezing with a full cup of coffee in your hand.

5 months ago

beverage, clumsiness, coffee, cup, fear, full, hand, morning, nothing, sneeze, spill
None of this matters and we are all going to die. Have a great weekend!

2 months ago

death, die, existentialism, going, great, humor, life, matters, none, perspective, positivity, weekend

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on YouTube this month:

Why do they make the wine glass so large if you’re not supposed to fill it to the top?

72 shares on Threads this month:

I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so.

36 shares on Messenger this month:

Thank God my pets can’t talk. They simply know too much.

88 shares on Facebook this month:

That pile of clothes on my bed, seems to have strange powers and gets higher on its own.

79 shares on X this month:

There’s a famous ancient Chinese proverb, but it’s written in Chinese so I have no idea what it says.

22 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your clothes are still in the washing machine.

19 shares on Slack this month:

But if I get tinted windows, how will people see me flipping them off?

54 shares on Telegram this month:

Eating spaghetti to forgetti my regretti.

95 shares on Twitch this month:

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

10 shares on Pinterest this month:

Three out of five times, my intuition is right. Not in casinos, though.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Do you say “Excuse me” to your pet when you walk by them, or are you rude?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

You don’t know about stupidity until your female friends open up about their love life.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Everyone deserves a day to lie in bed naked and be anti-social. Just sayin’.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

I live in constant fear that some douchebag is going to show up to a bonfire with a guitar.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Guy on the day of the 1918 armistice, walking around the trench, clapping, saying things like “Great work, everyone,” and “We did it, team.”

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Every year I realize how dumb I was a year ago.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Breaking news is really breaking me.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

I heard God is testing both of us at the same time. Wanna hang out?

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

My kids and I have this bit where I say something and they ignore me.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

When did making sense stop making sense?

Broadcasted on X:

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you’re full of energy and you can’t wait to get to work? Me neither!

Spotted on Discord:

Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

Spotted on Slack:

If a man says he’ll fix it, he will fix it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

According to the smoke alarm, the food is ready.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Driving a newer car is like “Oh weird, this one doesn’t have Shake on Highway, maybe they stopped making that feature”.

Just shared via Slack:

Imagine hating me and im just at my desk spinning reeaaally fast in my office chair.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to cancel plans.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Conflicts may arise but always remember to be the bitter person.

Going bananas on Slack:

Welcome to your 40s. Your ability to be sneaky will now be hindered by your bones cracking when you walk.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

Either the tables are going to turn, or I’m going to flip them.

Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

Don’t study, get slutty!

There’s nothing scarier than sneezing with a full cup of coffee in your hand.

None of this matters and we are all going to die. Have a great weekend!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨