Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

I’ve shouted so much sporting advice from my sofa already this summer. It’s very tiring but hopefully it’s helping.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

I am awake and ready to be disappointed.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Ruined a Ferrari guy’s day today by telling him that I loved his Corvette.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

If you think about it, Santa really has the best job, he works one day a year and spends the rest of his time judging people.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

A couple of years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Today, the real world is an escape from the internet.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

I figured out how they built the pyramids. No internet.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

“There are lots of benefits to working here. We have fun social events and activities after work!” And what are the benefits?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

The word “ugly” cannot be used on women, I’m sorry. Women just can’t be ugly, that’s a boy thing.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,883

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

I don’t even know what I’d do if a sailor called me a landlubber. I’d probably lose my cool.

Just shared via X:

That little stroll to the coffee maker makes me happy every morning.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I could tell my beard needed a trim when I started seeing some of the pictures my kids were drawing of me.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Welcome to your 40s. You’re home from the party before you used to go out for the party in your 20s.

Going viral on Reddit:

Everyone you know is fighting battles you don’t know about, except for my neighbor who just can not shut up about his battles.

Shared recently on Telegram:

My child had pancakes and syrup for breakfast so I guess I’ll be sticking to my furniture for the next week.

Trending via Messenger:

Aubrey Plaza is like an alien who went to earth to study us but accidentally got famous and can’t leave.

I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs tissues when you have a dog? 🐶❤️ Your furry friend is just helping you with your hydration levels! #DogHugsAreTheBest"

connection, dog, dogs, emotion, every, eyes, hugging, i, leaking, lean, love, me, pet, start, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Feeling morally and spiritually adrift without a Sunday HBO show.

0

1 month ago

addiction, adrift, entertainment, feeling, feeling adrift, HBO, HBO show, humor, morality, show, spirituality, Sunday, television
I am MTV, still played music videos, years old.

0

1 month ago

age, am, entertainment, humor, i, media, MTV, music, music video, nostalgia, old, played, still, video, videos
Every time I wanna quit, I remember horses don’t stop.

0

1 month ago

animal, encouragement, every, horse, horses, humor, i, motivation, perseverance, quit, remember, stop, time
Humanity was engineered as a biological weapon but left abandoned early in its development.

0

1 month ago

abandoned, abandonment, biological, biological weapon, dark, dark humor, development, early, engineering, humanity, humor, left, satire, weapon
Special Offer: Save 100% when you don’t buy anything.

0

1 month ago

anything, buy, discount, free, humor, irony, joke, marketing, offer, promotion, sales, save, special, special offer
My favorite things about Twitter are that everything you read is true, everyone is nice, and all intentions are pure of heart.

0

2 months ago

everyone, everything, expectations, favorite, heart, humor, intentions, kindness, media, nice, purity, read, sarcasm, social, social media, things, true, truth, Twitter

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

What if babies had two umbilical cords and if you cut the wrong one, it exploded?

48 shares on Pinterest this month:

I got Botox, and I asked the doctor, “How many years younger will this make me look?” and he was like, “Zero. You’ll just look like the other girls your age who have also gotten Botox.”

54 shares on TikTok this month:

Every day is a D-Day, if you’re a stutterer.

56 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s a beautiful morning. Lots of people out walking their phones.

63 shares on Slack this month:

The problem with people starts when we expect things from them, or have anything to do with them.

55 shares on Slack this month:

Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

50 shares on Twitch this month:

Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

83 shares on Pinterest this month:

Wife is temporary. Being the hot EX is forever.

49 shares on Twitch this month:

Sorry I’m late, my song came on at the grocery store.

44 shares on WeChat this month:

Born to say “are you f*****g stupid”, forced to say “wow, I’ve never thought about it like that before”.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

It’s so embarrassing when you make a silly face at a baby, and they do not care at all.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

The difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body is that I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

“Time After Time” is my favorite song about doing the dishes.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Babe, wake up, it’s stupid outside!

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

“Are you single?” No, I’m in a hallucinationship.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

“Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Whatever doesn’t kill you is probably still trying.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

It’s not magic, but I bet you are reading this post with one leg on top of the other.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

I don’t drink alcohol. I like suffering raw.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday.

Going viral on Messenger:

All I care about is being financially stable and getting sexier.

Seen just now on Threads:

I concern myself with the opinions of sheep because they are cute.

Trending via Twitch:

Stop expecting people to be as cool as you, it’s a recipe for disappointment.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Seems like paleontologists always have a bone to pick.

Making waves on WeChat:

Hey man, be careful on the trampoline, one of my buddies never came back down.

Making waves on Instagram:

Movie date at my house, but we use pirated sites and spend all night closing pop-ups.

Going viral on Slack:

You know shit’s about to get real when I put on yoga pants before dessert.

Making waves on Facebook:

I don’t want to exacerbate things. That would just make things worse.

Going viral on Snapchat:

My showers take so long because I always hold a shower concert.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Feeling morally and spiritually adrift without a Sunday HBO show.

I am MTV, still played music videos, years old.

Every time I wanna quit, I remember horses don’t stop.

Humanity was engineered as a biological weapon but left abandoned early in its development.

Special Offer: Save 100% when you don’t buy anything.

My favorite things about Twitter are that everything you read is true, everyone is nice, and all intentions are pure of heart.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨