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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Are you telling me these billionaires don’t have my best interests at heart?!

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

From now on, every time I think I’m hating too much, I will think of Kendrick and realize I’m not hating to my full potential.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

I used to eat my feelings but now it’s so expensive, I might as well go to therapy.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Not now, I’m befriending a crow and teaching it how to deliver handwritten love notes.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

If you want your kid to play with their toy just give it to your other kid. Follow me for more parenting hacks.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Selling porn is gross, but selling food and small household items is grocer.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

There’s no filter on my pics or my thoughts. I’m just out here raw-dogging it.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

I have read that there are imaginary pregnancies. The belly gets bigger and bigger, but there is no baby inside. Finally a diagnosis.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2246 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,408

Funny Quotes Topics

15,116

Funny Quotes Images

12,408

2 hours ago

3,454

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

Just shared via Messenger:

“I’m getting to an age where I realize I shouldn’t have laughed at my grandparents for having an ‘upstairs’ vacuum.”

Trending via Slack:

Everybody say a little prayer for my husband, he just told me to calm down.

Reported on Reddit:

This flight is so long, I don’t know where I’m going anymore. I just live here now. Even the crying baby gave up.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I think I’ll spend my savings on a lifetime supply of pasta. Worth every penne.

Going viral on Messenger:

I’ve been dieting for a little over a week and I already gained three pounds.

Going viral on Messenger:

An interviewer asked me how well I can perform under pressure; I said I’m much better at Bohemian Rhapsody.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Bluesky honestly feels like a miracle where you take the most annoying people in the world and stick them in a broken elevator together.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I don’t like how monkeys have taken ownership of the whole banana thing. I bet I like bananas almost as much as they do.

Trending via Threads:

You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

I like to just appear out of nowhere and say, “this looks like a job for a binder clip.”

6 months ago

I like to just appear out of nowhere and say, “this looks like a job for a binder clip.”

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a superhero when you have someone swooping in with a binder clip just in time? 💼💥 Never fear, the Binder Clip Avenger is here! Just call for help, and this mysterious figure will magically materialize to save the day… or at least keep your papers organized! 🦸‍♂️✨"

antics, appear, binder, binder clip, clip, humor, i, job, just, looks, nowhere, say, surprise

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2246 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,408

Funny Quotes Topics

15,116

Funny Quotes Images

12,408

2 hours ago

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Forgot my glasses, so I’m pointing at a random spot on the menu and hoping for the best.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

I accidentally hit a parked car, so I left them a note that said “next time it will be you”.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Siblings are proof you can love someone and also dislike them at the same time.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Before I had kids I was only vaguely aware that Saturday had a 7am.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m not worried about WWIII. I’ve been feeding a crow army for three years.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Sorry I’m late, I was fighting for my right to party.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

The heart wants what it wants, but it’s not the only organ that has a vote.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

At bedtime, I ceremonially move the claw clip from my hair to the bag of chips, signifying the end of the day.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Can’t stand when I’m determined to see something in a negative light, and somebody offers a different, healthier perspective. I already made up my mind to be upset. Don’t be rude.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Is it still murder if they said, “Some other time,” but I thought they said smother time?

Shared recently on X:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I would love to see AI be unemployed.

Just landed via Instagram:

The Cranberries. Great band name. You pick a fruit and you get to work.

Shared recently on Discord:

I’ve reached the conclusion that all men love thigh high stockings.

Trending via Instagram:

The horror of being warned that the person you’re about to meet is “fine once you get to know them”.

Just shared via Pinterest:

One year older today, and still no closer to growing up.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

“You shouldn’t let your cat jump on the counter”, my cat could take out a loan in my name if he wanted to.

Broadcasted on Slack:

My favorite dinner is the one made by someone else.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Why would I go to my high school reunion? I didn’t want to be there the first time.

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