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I’m not tispy. I’m merry.

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Today marks a five year anniversary of how I’ll start going to the gym tomorrow.

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She’s got style. She’s got grace. She dropped her cellphone on her face. She’s a lady.

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Having children is a pyramid scheme.

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Trying to be cute today but my face isn’t cooperating.

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THRILLED to announce I did an Ironman this weekend! Attended 3 social gatherings in 3 days.

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The spelling of “bourgeoisie” was intended as yet another means of oppression.

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The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.

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How soon into a new relationship should you let her know you’re an idiot?

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Sometimes my toddler throws stuff on the floor and then shouts “OH NO” and that’s kind of like what politicians do.