Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Well, who's the genius now, huh, Rubik's cubes? 😏💰 Say goodbye to those smug faces as I smash my way to success with Rubik's Hammers! 🔨💪 #80sInnovation"

80s, cube, hammer, humor, i, joke, money, nostalgia, Rubik’s, selling, smart, smarter, thought

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m not getting fatter. I’m increasing my content.

0

2 months ago

body, body image, content, fat, getting, humor, image, perspective, self-deprecation
Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

0

2 months ago

comedy, confuse, confusion, doctor, funny situation, glove, humor, medical, prank, rubber, rubber glove, situation, unexpected
I do not know how to put this gently, but part of being a good driver is using the gas and brake as little as humanly possible.

0

6 months ago

advice, being, brake, car, driver, driving, gas, gently, good, humor, i, know, little, put, skill, using
The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

0

2 months ago

card, humor, i, joke, magic, magician, me, pick, told, trick, Visa
Please don’t send me mixed signals, I don’t even understand the clear ones.

0

2 months ago

clear, clear signals, communication, confusion, dating, even, humor, i, me, misunderstanding, mixed, mixed signals, please, relationships, send, signals, understand
The main reason I got divorced was cause I got married.

0

5 months ago

cause, divorce, got, humor, i, joke, main, marriage, married, reason, relationship

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Messenger this month:

No one ever talks about the 6th love language (being annoying).

42 shares on Reddit this month:

I’ve folded seven page corners of the book I’m reading. That’s 49 in dog ears.

94 shares on Slack this month:

I told you so. Kind regards, your gut feeling.

24 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ve arrived like the sun: blinding, necessary, and impossible to ignore.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

According to a recent study, women who are a little overweight live longer than men who mention it.

11 shares on YouTube this month:

The only thing faster than an escalator is an escasooner.

90 shares on Snapchat this month:

Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head.

97 shares on Telegram this month:

“What’s a random act of kindness you’ve done for a stranger recently?” I helped a bunch of teens buy alcohol and cigarettes the other day.

72 shares on Snapchat this month:

Vatican City should be called Popenhagen.

39 shares on TikTok this month:

Had chicken and egg for dinner because I wanted to eat the whole family.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

I don’t get treadmills, I mean if I walk I better reach somewhere.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

When I say I love the ocean, I mean I love the surface. Whatever goes on beneath has my respect, but it’s none of my business.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

People my age are doing so much, and I’m just at home reliving the same day over and over again.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

When life gives you lemons, take the lemons. They were a gift. Maybe life thought you liked lemons. Did you think about that? No, you’re always thinking about yourself.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Asking the birds outside my window if they know any Metallica.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

I don’t know much, but I do know melancholia is a way cooler diagnosis than depression.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Tweeting shouldn’t cost money but it should flip you on your back like a bug for 15 minutes.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

As a Dad, you always want your kids to be prepared for real life, that’s why trolling them is so vital.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Gutted to report that spending a day offline, touching grass with my friends, was phenomenal for my mental health.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Single, not sure how to mingle.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

If you start liking someone, just block them. Follow me for more relationship advice.

Going viral on Threads:

So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Me and my best friend saying, “Hey, who are we to judge,” after spending 6 hours gossiping.

Trending via Pinterest:

It sucks that crazy people ruined wearing tinfoil hats for those of us that just did it for fashion purposes.

Spotted on Facebook:

I don’t know why “you made your bed now lie in it” is a bad thing. It sounds great! I’ll even lie in a bed I didn’t make.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I think my wife has got early Alzheimer’s. Every day she tells me that she has no idea what she first saw in me.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I love when someone is telling a story and you can tell even from their version that they’re the villain.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I do block people right away; you’re not going to stress me out on my own phone, with my own internet, and in my own house.

Just shared via Reddit:

When exactly does wisdom kick in? I feel like I’m just getting older.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Turns out I am the autistic one at “movie night,” who thought you’re supposed to actually watch the movie.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I made all my money in the 80s selling Rubik’s Hammers. They were for those cubes that thought they were smarter than you.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m not getting fatter. I’m increasing my content.

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

I do not know how to put this gently, but part of being a good driver is using the gas and brake as little as humanly possible.

The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

Please don’t send me mixed signals, I don’t even understand the clear ones.

The main reason I got divorced was cause I got married.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨