Trendy Funny Quotes

  • The way some people hold their cell phone to make a call, I always think they’re trying to take a bite out of a sandwich.
  • “Hope you’re enjoying the sunshine!” No, I’m at a desk reading your email.
  • I wish I had a friend like me.
  • “You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?
  • When I was a kid I thought shrimp cocktails had alcohol in them and I thought it was such a weird way to get drunk.
  • That awkward moment between birth and death.