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Commentary:
Oh, the struggle of being too awesome to fall asleep! 😎💤 Sounds like your coolness is keeping you up at night. Embrace the awesomeness and conquer the day, even on limited sleep! 🌟 #AwesomniaIssues

awesomnia, comedy, humor, i, insomnia, issues, sleep, sleep issues, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Imagine hating me, and I’m just here unloading my dishwasher.

0

2 months ago

attitude, chore, daily, daily chore, dishwasher, hate, here, humor, imagine, just, me, sarcasm, unloading
In the autumn there are two types of creatures who collect acorns: squirrels and toddlers.

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2 months ago

acorn, acorns, autumn, collection, creature, creatures, humor, nature, playfulness, squirrel, squirrels, toddler, types
Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

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2 months ago

20s, adulthood, attachment, haunt, humor, life, memory, people, person, relationship, rest, twenty
You can recognize working-class kids by the fact that they hang their jacket over the chair in the restaurant and not on the coat hook.

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2 months ago

behavior, chair, class, coat, coat hook, fact, hang, hook, humor, jacket, kids, over, restaurant, social, social class, working-class
I wish I was born into wealth so I could have a nice 1-bedroom apartment.

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1 week ago

1-bedroom, 1-bedroom apartment, apartment, born, desire, humor, i, irony, money, nice, wealth, wish
We should be able to call in healthy: “I feel amazing today, and I’m not wasting it at work.”

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2 months ago

able, amazing, attitude, call, call in sick, feel, health, healthy, humor, i, motivation, productivity, should, sick, today, wasting, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on Slack this month:

I have never in my life learned from another person’s mistakes, I would literally let a giant wooden horse into my house right this second.

35 shares on Pinterest this month:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this Thanksgiving party started.

89 shares on Facebook this month:

I do my best to kill everyone with kindness, but they don’t seem to be dying.

53 shares on Instagram this month:

Can y’all just post your therapist’s advice in the comments so I don’t have to go?

83 shares on Reddit this month:

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

51 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t drink alcohol. I like suffering raw.

70 shares on Facebook this month:

The first thing you need to know about social media is that everyone’s on vacation, except for you.

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

30 shares on Twitch this month:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, why so many fingerprints?

34 shares on Facebook this month:

I like people who can admit their mistakes and apologize. In other words, I like very few people.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Yes, my sex drive is higher than my will to live, and what about it?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Not gonna lie, the age I’m turning this year sounds a little serious, and I don’t like it.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Before you try to save someone, make sure you’re not interrupting their karma.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Gonna end every insult with “but in a good way”.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

What if you went to ET’s planet and all of the other ET’s were wearing clothes?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

I don’t understand why people have to “get ready for bed.” I am always ready for bed.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

People who live in glass houses shouldn’t change clothes.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Getting an extra 20 minutes in the day when someone cancels a meeting is like finding a penny on the ground. Not gonna use it for anything, but wow, am I excited.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

I should’ve been a crow. They get to fly around looking goth as hell and seeking retribution. Instead, I have to go to an office and work on my ‘people skills.’

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Girl math is avoiding shipping costs by buying more.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Discord:

There’s no way the Scooby Doo gang never found a dead body.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Going to the gym to exercise my demons.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Before you send that email, ask yourself: is this a December problem or a January problem?

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Experts say you can make any statement sound more credible by adding ‘experts say’ at the beginning.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I installed a bike rack on my car so my neighbors think I do something else besides drink.

Going viral on WeChat:

“Dairy Queen” is actually the perfect drag name.

Making waves on Facebook:

You’ve never burned music to a CD, and it shows.

Just landed via Threads:

The show “How I Met Your Mother” was just a really long TED talk.

Just landed via Slack:

Unfortunately, you have to almost worship the ground I walk on for me to believe you’re into me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I suffer from awesomnia.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Imagine hating me, and I’m just here unloading my dishwasher.

In the autumn there are two types of creatures who collect acorns: squirrels and toddlers.

Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

You can recognize working-class kids by the fact that they hang their jacket over the chair in the restaurant and not on the coat hook.

I wish I was born into wealth so I could have a nice 1-bedroom apartment.

We should be able to call in healthy: “I feel amazing today, and I’m not wasting it at work.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨