I think I look pretty okay for my age. It’s just when I hold menus two feet from my face that I know the ruse is up.

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I just got lied to by 3K+ people. That recipe was awful.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

British people be like “I’m Bri ish” cause they drank the “T”

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

You ever spend the day with a skinny person and are like “ohhhh, that’s why you’re skinny”.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

The only thing I know about AI is, it desperately wants us to have more fingers.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

I am on my second week of biweekly pay so today I will be showing you how to make a quesadilla out of paper towels.

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And to my children I leave my collection of tote bags and gift bags.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

I have more trips planned than I have money.

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Grown men carpooling to the strip club so they can get boners and drive home together.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

I am not responsible for what my face does when you talk.