Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"When the restaurant menu becomes your arch-nemesis, you know you've reached a certain age 😂🔍 Embrace the reading glasses and keep 'looking pretty okay'! 👓💁"

age, appearance, eyesight, face, feet, hold, humor, i, just, know, menus, okay, pretty, reality, ruse, self-deprecation, think

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Please do not test me. I’ve been saving up my rage like PTO.

0

2 months ago

frustration, humor, me, patience, please, PTO, rage, saving, test, warning
I may not understand women, but cheeseburgers have never sent me mixed signals, and for that they’ll always have my heart.

0

2 months ago

always, cheeseburger, food, heart, humor, i, love, me, mixed, mixed signals, relationship, signals, understand, women
A girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

0

5 months ago

dreamy, fantasy, girl, me, self-confidence, should, sitting, sky, star, whimsical
I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

0

2 months ago

conflict, favor, humor, humor about conflict, humorous, humorous quote, i, international, international relations, joke, political, political humor, relations, sarcasm, satire, war, war joke
When I get the vibe from someone that fitting in is super important to them my first instinct is to bite them.

0

2 months ago

bite, fitting, fitting in, humor, i, important, individuality, instinct, interaction, social, social interaction, someone, super, vibe
Got possessed by a demon once, and everyone was like, “OMG, did you do something with your hair?”

0

2 months ago

demon, everyone, got, hair, humor, joke, OMG, once, possessed, possession, prank, something, supernatural, transformation

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on TikTok this month:

He had the nerve to call me pretty. I’m gorgeous.

81 shares on TikTok this month:

I tried to clean up my Chrome tabs but it turns out all 200 of them contain information that is vital for my survival.

47 shares on Reddit this month:

Ugh, he wants to go hiking as a first date, just like Hitler.

33 shares on Slack this month:

My friend’s kid asked me if I had any games on phone so I let her text my ex.

75 shares on Instagram this month:

Sobriety: because my standards got tired of lowering themselves.

22 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m sorry you had a bad experience at our restaurant. To make it up to you, here is a coupon for more of our terrible, terrible food.

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

Not to brag, but I’ve done nothing for several hours.

53 shares on Facebook this month:

When people tell me “you’re going to regret that in the morning”, I sleep until noon because I am a problem solver.

27 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s funny how quickly you become difficult if you don’t always just say “yes”.

57 shares on Slack this month:

We should put a tariff on being mean to me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

When I tell my kids I’ll do something in a minute, what I’m really saying is “Please forget.”

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

I have noticed something quite worrying: after I buy more things I have less money.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

In my 20s: I’m gonna live forever! In my 40s: uh oh!

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Ending my thesis paper with “but who cares what I think?”

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Please just wait until my mating ritual is over before you decide.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Did it make you feel powerful when you didn’t let me merge onto the highway?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Haunted house idea: a poorly lit Walmart littered with people you haven’t seen since high school.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Realizing this yogurt I’m eating is more active and cultured than I am.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Fun fact: a person’s music taste can actually tell their intelligence level.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

Killing me softly with his schlong.

Trending via Instagram:

(at an incredibly low point in my life) I should start dating again.

Trending via TikTok:

I’m just going to be hotter. It’s easier than being nicer.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

Broadcasted on Slack:

If you knock down a policeman, they’ll get backup.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Mama didn’t raise no fool, I turned into one all on my own.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’ve added lunges to my workout routine. It’s a big step forward.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Travelling through the US by car is beautiful because you feel like a blood cell in a very sick man’s body.

Going viral on Snapchat:

We should be able to go to the bar and drink to watch Love Island, like men do with sports.

Spotted on Messenger:

The problem with salad is, it’s salad.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I think I look pretty okay for my age. It’s just when I hold menus two feet from my face that I know the ruse is up.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Please do not test me. I’ve been saving up my rage like PTO.

I may not understand women, but cheeseburgers have never sent me mixed signals, and for that they’ll always have my heart.

A girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

When I get the vibe from someone that fitting in is super important to them my first instinct is to bite them.

Got possessed by a demon once, and everyone was like, “OMG, did you do something with your hair?”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨