Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Have you ever noticed that when you step on someone’s foot, they open their mouth? It’s like a folding trash can.
  • I hope the aliens aren’t good at basketball. My chances of making it into the NBA are already slim.
  • That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you’re shopping for something else because they just won’t budge.
  • No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.
  • The quickest way to double your money is to hold it in front of a mirror.
  • I’m so lazy that I’ll break my tooth trying to get this tag off before I get up and get a scissor.