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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

All day I think about sleep but when it’s time to go to bed I don’t wanna.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Blood pressure too high to chase these hoes.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Tiime isn’t on my side, it’s on my face, wrinkling my forehead.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Life is short, flirt with me!

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

A good man is hard to find, but a babysitter for Friday night is harder.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Note: Press the button on the elevator as often as possible to activate the secret express function and speed up the thing.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Lately life has been all panic no disco.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Website: We use cookies to improve performance. Me: Same.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

815 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,977

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,977

11 minutes ago

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Dating is the process of meeting someone until you find out what’s wrong with them.

Just shared via YouTube:

Thought I was a minimalist, turns out I’m just broke.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Your 20s are for trying soup, making new soups, and discussing soup or soup related topics.

Seen just now on X:

Researchers have discovered that birthdays are healthy. People who have more grow older.

Making waves on Telegram:

There is no bigger lie than “fun for the whole family”.

Spotted on Twitch:

How do you tell someone that you will probably end up marrying them, but in a casual way?

Broadcasted on Slack:

Attention: will the owner of a small blue planet with tectonic plates please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.

Going viral on Instagram:

Going to look at the small picture for a while. Tired of seeing the big picture. Too much picture.

Seen just now on X:

My wife trusts me with a joint bank account but when I’m loading the dishwasher she always walks in the kitchen “to get something.”

Spotted on Twitch:

I wonder what John Connor thinks now that everyone is embracing AI.

I want to be a garbage man, so I only have to work one day a week.

6 months ago

I want to be a garbage man, so I only have to work one day a week.

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Commentary:
"Ah, the dream of every Monday-hater out there! 🗑️💼 Who wouldn't want to cruise around town, collecting rubbish for just a day and then kicking back for the rest of the week? 🚚🌟 Just imagine the possibilities… Trash talk on Monday, then chill the rest of the week! ♻️😂"

aspiration, career, day, garbage, garbage man, humor, i, job, man, only, want, week, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

815 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,977

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,977

11 minutes ago

3,422

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

My friend thinks he’s smart. He said onions are the only food that makes him cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

People who own banana costumes will wear that shit to anything.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

I’m really good at compromising as long as I get my way.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

“My reading glasses would look good on your nightstand.” -Me, flirting.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Being an adult is realizing $1000 is little money to have, but a lot to owe.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

I know sacrifice. I’m willing to pluck a few extra hairs to get to the white ones.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

I get it dogs, I wish I could also bark at strangers approaching my house.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, you’re drunk. Ducks don’t talk.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Alcohol and eye contact is a deadly combo.

Making waves on Reddit:

A moment of silence for those who hate us but can’t unfriend us because they’re afraid of not knowing what’s happening in our lives.

Breaking via TikTok:

Just overheard someone describe their hike as “it was like mountain climbing, but flat”.

Breaking via Discord:

I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

Reported on Pinterest:

I’m so bored of being bored, because being bored is really boring.

Going viral on X:

Desperately seeking my soul, mate.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Tai Chi is so crazy because it’s like throwing a slow motion tantrum.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Your honor, when I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean in contempt.

Going viral on Pinterest:

ChatGPT, what do you do when you find out your boyfriend’s been using ChatGPT to write you messages?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Men be like “I would do anything for you,” and then do nothing.

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