Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Signatures are so unserious, just “pinky promise” for adults. Write your name in a silly little way on this very important piece of paper so we that we can send you to jail if you do anything wrong.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, no, I shut it off and back on again. Why are you still here?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Had the bed all to myself last night, so you know what that means… I slept in a slightly different spot, and now my neck feels weird.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

On the upside, my kids are helping with the dishes. On the downside, my kids are helping with the dishes.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

We need to stop making more Christmas music. We have enough.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

You should leave your comfort zone and come to mine instead.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

I have never seen an alcohol company using a drunk person for any advertising, are they ashamed of their customers?

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

I believe my ex-wife is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Remember, for some unknown reason Santa doesn’t make batteries.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

I’ve been having a rough day for about 5 years now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,587

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Female friendship is all about taking turns being insane. First, one of you is crazy, and the other has to counterbalance by being normal. Then, thirty minutes later, you get to trade.

Trending via WeChat:

You know you’re over 50 when you have “upstairs Ibuprofen” and “downstairs Ibuprofen”.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Guys love being called “daddy” until the pregnancy test comes back positive.

Going viral on Snapchat:

It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a Like.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Some people believe the appendix is a vestigial organ, that its use has long since passed. I think it’s primordial. Its use has yet to come.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Boy, are you a piñata? Because I have an overwhelming urge to beat you with a stick.

Just landed via Telegram:

Out of Office: I am on vacation. Your emails will be forwarded nowhere to be read by no one. Good day.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I alway get the same thing every year for Christmas. Fat!

Going viral on Slack:

When you ask for your phone charger back and your teenager has the audacity to ask “what percentage are you on?”

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Thanks to social media, you can now meet weirdos from the comfort of your own home.

I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Deciding between cuddles and solitude… the eternal struggle of the indecisively crazy. 🤔🤗🚶‍♀️ #CrazyConundrums"

alone, being, crazy, cuddle, emotions, hard, humor, i, introvert, left, paradox, relationship, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Everyone’s an expert after the fact.

0

2 months ago

after, expert, fact, hindsight, humor, irony, knowledge, observation, opinion
Don’t listen to them, little password. You are strong.

0

2 months ago

encouragement, humor, listen, little, password, security, strong, technology
If you love me, please don’t ask me to go camping with you.

0

2 months ago

ask, camping, humor, love, me, please, relationship
It’s getting very expensive to be alive.

0

2 months ago

alive, cost, expense, expensive, getting, humor, life, reality, sarcasm
Netflix will help you finish the name of the movie you’re typing, and then tell you they don’t have it.

0

3 months ago

autocomplete, disappointment, entertainment, finish, help, humor, movie, name, Netflix, streaming, technology, tell, typing
I prefer to use deodorant immediately after shaving my armpits so that I can feel that I’m still alive.

0

2 months ago

alive, armpits, care, deodorant, feel, humor, hygiene, i, personal, personal care, shaving, still

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on YouTube this month:

Spotify wrapped is like my annual mental health report and it’s getting worse by each passing year.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

Apparently, responding to a wedding invitation with “maybe next time” is wrong. I know that now.

90 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t understand my wardrobe. It’s full, but I don’t have clothes.

13 shares on Messenger this month:

If you give a man a fish, that fish is basically gone. Way to lose your fish.

87 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I respectfully ignore DMs because I promise you, I am not your soulmate.

89 shares on Snapchat this month:

People will be like “Nobody cares about your Spotify Wrapped,” and then post a picture of their baby.

16 shares on Twitch this month:

Twitter can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

13 shares on Instagram this month:

Morning me just stripped the bedding. Evening me is going to be pissed.

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.

53 shares on Snapchat this month:

My kids acting shocked there’s ants in my car like they’re not Hansel and Gretel leaving bloody crumb trails.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

How much chocolate is too much chocolate before it is technically no longer a salad?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Nothing you want to do has a timeline.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Before I had kids I was only vaguely aware that Saturday had a 7am.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

I’m old enough to remember when FIFA was about kicking balls, not sucking them.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Our childhood photos might be ugly but those smiles were definitely not fake.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Today I couldn’t find a parking space at work, so I drove back home. Looks like they have enough people there.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked. I’m a family of 8.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

I use subtitles so if I learn anything interesting I can say “I was reading about” instead of “I saw on an episode of Love Island”

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I get easily confused in the morning. Also in the afternoon and evening.

Trending via Twitch:

The most important meal of the day is the next one.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

As a pigeon mother, I would never let my pigeon daughter hang around the station. That’s really no place for a young pigeon lady.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.

Spotted on Facebook:

I’m not mad, I just hope your socks slide off in your shoe all day.

Going bananas on WeChat:

If you gain 4 pounds in one weekend, that just means you’re an overachiever.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Sunrises are really beautiful, but the timing is rather bad.

Going viral on Reddit:

You can be having the nicest day and then you have to print something and you know your day is about to fall apart real fast.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Everyone’s an expert after the fact.

Don’t listen to them, little password. You are strong.

If you love me, please don’t ask me to go camping with you.

It’s getting very expensive to be alive.

Netflix will help you finish the name of the movie you’re typing, and then tell you they don’t have it.

I prefer to use deodorant immediately after shaving my armpits so that I can feel that I’m still alive.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨