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Commentary:
"Imagine ordering a 'Combo Meal' at the Anxiety Cafe: 'Yes, I'll have a large anxiety with a side of crispy french fries, please!' 🍟😬 Talk about comfort food for the mind and soul! Just add a sprinkle of humor and dip it all in sarcasm – voilà, instant stress relief! 😅"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m getting to the age where it’s rude to pull out a bottle of ibuprofen if I don’t have enough for everyone.

1 month ago
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I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen what happens when they get elected.

2 months ago
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My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room.

2 months ago
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Some people get a bit strange as they get older. Not me. I’ve always been like that!

1 month ago
age, always, bit, growth, humor, individuality, me, older, people, personality, self-awareness, strange
How late is too late to still be lying in bed, naked, drinking coffee?

4 months ago
bed, coffee, drinking, humor, late, lying, morning, naked, relaxation, still, too
You can’t hurt my feelings, I used to bring my dad the wrong tools.

1 month ago
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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

All I’m saying is that at first I am shy and then I become a podcast.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Only time I believe a man is when he tells me that I’m pretty.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

My name is Bob but my friends don’t call me.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

I tell my kids winning isn’t everything and then I steal money from the monopoly bank.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Candy cigarettes really used to be a thing and we really bought them and walked around like we were smokers at the tender age of 6.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

I didn’t forget about you; my algorithm did.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

If your family starts fighting on Thanksgiving, go live.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

“Kiss From a Rose” makes you think Batman Forever is the most romantic movie ever made.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Born to screenshot everything and never look at it again.

Going viral on Instagram:

Mindfulness is out. We’re doing drugs again.

Trending via Facebook:

I’m pretty sure emojis were invented so introverts don’t have to say anything to anyone.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

My husband doesn’t find it nearly as amusing as I do when I sing, “Someday My Prince Will Come,” while I’m cleaning.

Going viral on WeChat:

Some days you feel like you’re surrounded by idiots, other days you realize it’s not just some days.

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Activity Log ✨

I wish anxiety came with french fries.

I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen what happens when they get elected.

My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room.

Some people get a bit strange as they get older. Not me. I’ve always been like that!

How late is too late to still be lying in bed, naked, drinking coffee?

You can’t hurt my feelings, I used to bring my dad the wrong tools.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

You know what part I love about waking up? None of it. Let me sleep!

Playdates were invented to force parents into cleaning their home.

Just once, I’d love to underthink a situation.

I’m sick of getting woken up at 6am by the bin men. I just want a nice sleep but they always insist that I get out of the bin before they collect it.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Apple juice tastes like it wants to be alcohol, but it’s too shy.

Perks of being a girl: You can think about whatever you want in public without worrying about boners.

Waiting until 4:59 p.m. on Fridays to send an email, because any response is Monday’s problem.

I watch “Law and Order” so much that when I turn off the TV, I wipe my fingerprints off the remote.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Me, one week before the new year: Not to brag, but I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the year.

Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.

I heard God is testing both of us at the same time. Wanna hang out?

The same mosquito kept biting me last night. It probably thought it was at a wine tasting.

I feel sorry for non-glasses wearers. They’ll never know the joy of cleaning them and suddenly being upgraded to the UHD package.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

Monday morning looks like Jack Nicholson breaking through the door in The Shining.

Every outdoor cat should be given a little cowboy hat and a gun.

Anyone know how to get an air guitar out of a vacuum?

I’m not being smart, I’m just a skilled trained professional in pointing out the obvious.

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I wish anxiety came with french fries.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m getting to the age where it’s rude to pull out a bottle of ibuprofen if I don’t have enough for everyone.

I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen what happens when they get elected.

My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room.

Some people get a bit strange as they get older. Not me. I’ve always been like that!

How late is too late to still be lying in bed, naked, drinking coffee?

You can’t hurt my feelings, I used to bring my dad the wrong tools.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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