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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has bookmarked:

Salary week, but salary weak.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท has shared:

Why count sheep when I can count my troubles?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ด has bookmarked:

I like my mornings to be slow and quiet. I want the day to romance me a bit before it tries to mess me up.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡บ has viewed:

I’m sorry I mistook all our laughs, long nights, sweet texts, and inside jokes as you caring. Iโ€™ll think twice before wasting my time again.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has downloaded:

I really thought adulthood would be 50% freedom and 50% fun. Turns out it’s 100% bills.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ช has viewed:

The masculine urge to make a woman sit through a YouTube video that she will not find funny or entertaining.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฎ has bookmarked:

Throwing “whereupon” into a few work emails today to keep it fun.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ธ has viewed:

Having your own apartment by yourself is so funny, cause I really just swept the whole place naked.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡น has bookmarked:

Notice how you donโ€™t catch me in public, itโ€™s because iโ€™m not real.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ท has viewed:

I’m so single right now that I stood on a cliff and shouted, “I love you,” and my echo replied, “I just wanna be friends.”

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,418

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Just landed via WeChat:

Me, aged 20: This is internship summer. I will get an internship. I will find a job. I will study. I will read. I will learn piano. I will… Me, nowadays: This summer, I’m going to try all of the ice cream flavors.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Remember when we had to smack the TV cause it wasnโ€™t coming in clearly? I feel that way about too many people.

Just shared via WeChat:

Introverts have fun, too โ€” we just don’t care if you know.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Maybe Monday is more scared of us than we are of it… we don’t know.

Breaking via Facebook:

Petition to make weekends longer. Two days isnโ€™t enough.

Live now on WeChat:

Iโ€™ve officially reached the age where I donโ€™t want to do anything after 9pm.

Live now on Reddit:

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.

Just landed via Twitch:

I lost my composure in 1992. I havenโ€™t seen it since.

Trending via Twitch:

No longer praying on your downfall. I will be directly involved.

Just landed via YouTube:

They should invent weekends that are long-lasting.

Iโ€™d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast, it had to be done by Elvis.

Witty quote about quick marriage by Elvis, humorous and playful text on an image.
Download image โ†“

Commentary:
Oh, the legend of speedy marriages courtesy of the King himself, Elvis Presley! ๐Ÿ•บ Who knew that tying the knot quickly would forever be associated with hip thrusts and sideburns? ๐Ÿ˜‚ Maybe Elvis just wanted to make sure lovebirds didn't leave the building without saying "I do"! ๐Ÿ’๐ŸŽถ #MarriageGoals #ElvisTime

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Keep the laugh going ๐Ÿ˜‚

Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ‘‡

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars โญ

84 shares on Threads this month:

Me in hell: “So did it hurt when you fell from heaven.” Lucifer: “Get out!”

64 shares on Messenger this month:

The history of mankind would have been completely different if Adam and Eve had been Chinese. They would have left the apple hanging and eaten the snake.

14 shares on Threads this month:

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a tweet or a close friends story.

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

There’s nothing I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

45 shares on X this month:

For my next trick, I’ll need a divorce lawyer.

84 shares on Twitch this month:

What can I buy my wife for Valentineโ€™s Day that finally proves to her once and for all that I have absolutely no idea what she likes or who she is?

23 shares on X this month:

Just rolled over for a cuddle.. forgot I’m single… fell off the bed.

44 shares on Facebook this month:

I donโ€™t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.

71 shares on Threads this month:

Toddlers are like puppies, they donโ€™t care if theyโ€™re dirty and smelly and they both have an affinity exploring the trash bin.

52 shares on Messenger this month:

Tried to be a responsible adult today. Wonโ€™t be doing that again.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

14 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Somewhere there’s a girl ignoring 15 guys for a guy who gives her no attention.

9 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

According to a recent study, women who are a little overweight live longer than men who mention it.

14 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Have to wear real clothes on Monday. Pray for me.

17 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Good morning to the wind beneath my wings only.

19 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Donโ€™t be boring. Create the gossip you would like to hear.

8 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I bring a sort of “this isn’t actually urgent” vibe to the workplace that managers don’t like.

12 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

25 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

During childbirth, women are in so much pain that it is almost possible for them to feel what men have to endure when they have a cold.

11 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Hotel towels are always the worst. So thick and fluffy that I can’t even close my suitcase.

21 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

My lawyer dropped his briefcase and nunchuks fell out.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,363

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ท has downloaded:

If you pretend you’re erasing the evidence of a murder while cleaning the bathroom, you’ll do a better job, and it actually becomes fun!

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has bookmarked:

If you’re having a good day today, don’t play Wordle.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has shared:

The funniest thing I heard an elder say, “My generation had Wonder Woman, your generation has to wonder if it’s a woman.”

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฎ has downloaded:

Does my special place in hell have wi-fi?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has shared:

I canโ€™t believe someone ran over my neighbors loud motorcycle tomorrow morning.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has shared:

People who cook breakfast before going to work are too mature for me.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฏ has downloaded:

Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ณ has downloaded:

This chapter of my life is called ‘at least the rent is paid’

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡ณ has shared:

Your nose is in the middle of your face because it is the scenter.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has bookmarked:

Iโ€™m like a candle: Iโ€™m cute, I smell nice, and thereโ€™s a pretty good chance Iโ€™ll set your curtains on fire if left unattended.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Going viral on Threads:

Being sexy is just the cherry on top. Iโ€™m actually a genius and the sweetest girl ever.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I wear a lot of clothes for someone who hates doing laundry.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Twitter is the only place you argue with CEOs and heads of states while sleeping in the kitchen.

Just landed via Threads:

I heard time is money, so I quit my job. Now I have lots of time!

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Being awake is the worst.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I need to consult the woods about this.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I’m buysexual, you buy me food, I become sexual.

Spotted on Instagram:

She was my chai, I was her cake rusk.

Making waves on Messenger:

My exorcist thinks we should see other demons.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Men are only nice for 3 weeks, then surprise you with another personality.

ยฉ 2026. All rights reserved.

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