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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

If you like water, you already like 72% of me.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Is there an app yet that converts voice messages into text messages?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

I don’t need a fancy watch to tell me I’m not fit one bit.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Coffee: Because without it I would be a serious danger to society.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Called in telepathically this morning, so they know I’m thinking of them.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Imagine hating me and im just at my desk spinning reeaaally fast in my office chair.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

I ordered one of those Tempura mattresses. Way too crunchy.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Anytime someone throws a Great Gatsby themed party, I have to assume they never finished the book.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

It’s amazing, when it’s your birthday you really feel the love from family, friends, lovers, former dentists, yoga studios and various smootheries.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

41 minutes ago

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

Every grocery store becomes an escape room if you see someone you know.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Don’t compare yourself with others. Everyone is better than you.

Just shared via X:

I was actually doing so well until your email found me.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Probably the worst thing about the death of print media is the devastating effect it’s having on the producers of traditional ransom notes.

Just landed via Instagram:

Jury duty is a wild concept. Whenever the government wants, they can just be like “Call off work, bestie, we need you to solve a murder. Here’s fifteen dollars.”

Just landed via Threads:

Can’t wait to put up holiday lights so life can be equally crappy but festively so.

Trending via Pinterest:

People say I act like I don’t care. It’s not an act.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Might start a YouTube channel “will it hurt if I drop it on my foot”.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Has anyone ever died from waiting for a group of people to decide what they want to eat.

Reported on Threads:

Deleting the paragraph you wrote and texting back “ok” is a different type of self-control.

I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast, it had to be done by Elvis.

6 months ago

I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast, it had to be done by Elvis.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the legend of speedy marriages courtesy of the King himself, Elvis Presley! 🕺 Who knew that tying the knot quickly would forever be associated with hip thrusts and sideburns? 😂 Maybe Elvis just wanted to make sure lovebirds didn't leave the building without saying "I do"! 💍🎶 #MarriageGoals #ElvisTime

decision, done, Elvis, fast, humor, ID, marriage, married, meet, person, wanted, wedding

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

41 minutes ago

3,418

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

The incontinent optimist sees the bladder as half empty.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

I didn’t ghost you, I saved you from me.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

I want you to know that whatever problems you’re having, I’m hear to ‘like’ them.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

“You’re so quick to cut someone off!” God forbid a girl actually has self-respect.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

“Help us improve Instagram!” Nice try, fix your own damn website.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

My hobby is misidentifying dinosaurs so my daughter can correct me.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Flex on your kids by asking “are we there yet?” before they do.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

I am cool with January lasting forever because rent is due February 1.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Don’t think of it as losing followers, think of it as frustrating bots to the point they go away.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

Forgetting your phone at home is the modern equivalent of leaving your sword behind in medieval times.

Just shared via Discord:

I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

Broadcasted on X:

Me, having zero balance in my account, viewing houses worth 10 million, and being like, “No, I don’t like the kitchen.”

Just shared via Threads:

Don’t ask me ‘how are you?’ unless you’re willing to sign an NDA.

Just landed via Snapchat:

You unfollow me because you are afraid of falling in love with me. I know!

Going viral on Discord:

I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

There’s a disgusting pervert at the bar watching pornography over my shoulder.

Making waves on YouTube:

I belong to the generation that repaired the TV with a single blow to the casing.

Making waves on Facebook:

Reverse cowgirl so he doesn’t see the double chin.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I’ve jogged with my jogging pants about as often as I’ve rolled through the kitchen with kitchen roll.

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