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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

The neighbor girl told my kids she wouldn’t come over until they cleaned their rooms, so I guess I do have a favorite child.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

I hate when I offer someone food and they accept it.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

I could never give up my dog, he knows too much.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Sharpening pencils at the bin was the biggest link-up.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

My handwriting got like five different fonts, depends on my mood and the pen I’m using.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Someday I will make a sandwich that will change my life forever.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

A simple “hi” can be the beginning of two years of therapy.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Twitter is basically introverts gone wild.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

I wonder how biology explains that pain in your chest you get when you found out your partner cheated on you.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Kinda rude that your reward for struggling through stuff is still dying at the end anyway.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Jan 6, 2026

3,388

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Forget cheating, that’s young people’s shit. I’m ready to get married and have an affair.

Going viral on YouTube:

Songs discovered from movies are usually a masterpiece.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Relationship status: you’d think something called a Roomba would be a better dancer.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and never disturb them again.

Live now on WeChat:

Saw a shooting star and made a wish for everyone to stop talking to me.

Going viral on X:

We’d never met, or even spoken, but I could tell just from gazing into her pale blue eyes I had stepped on her toe.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Saw a guy reading a book and writing notes in it. Not enough words in there for ya, bud?

Seen just now on Instagram:

Imagine you’re on jury duty and the courtroom sketch artist draws stink lines above you.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

The secret to a clean home? Never let your husband or children in.

I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast, it had to be done by Elvis.

2 months ago

0

I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast, it had to be done by Elvis.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the legend of speedy marriages courtesy of the King himself, Elvis Presley! 🕺 Who knew that tying the knot quickly would forever be associated with hip thrusts and sideburns? 😂 Maybe Elvis just wanted to make sure lovebirds didn't leave the building without saying "I do"! 💍🎶 #MarriageGoals #ElvisTime

decision, done, Elvis, fast, humor, ID, marriage, married, meet, person, wanted, wedding

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The sexual tension between me and vanishing without context is insane.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, context, humor, insane, me, relationship, sexual, sexual tension, tension, vanishing
God, is there anything worse than when someone wants to show you a video?

0

3 weeks ago

annoyance, anything, God, humor, interaction, show, social, social interaction, someone, video, wants, worse
I’m not falling for it again. These missions have been successful 8 times already.

0

2 months ago

again, confidence, failure, falling, humor, irony, mission, repetition, sarcasm, success, successful, times
If GPT-5 will have ‘Ph.D.-level intelligence’, then GPT-6 will have the intelligence of someone who decided not to get a PhD.

0

2 months ago

AI, comparison, education, GPT-5, humor, intelligence, joke, Ph.D., PhD, someone, wit
Only DM me if you like disappointment.

0

4 months ago

disappointment, DM, humor, me, media, messaging, only, sarcasm, social, social media
Whatever the plot is in Barbie’s movie, my dolls have been through worse.

0

2 months ago

Barbie, doll, movie, plot, whatever, worse

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on TikTok this month:

Remember when you could lay in one position for hours, now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.

24 shares on Instagram this month:

Men tell you “I know a place” and bring you to the brink of madness.

100 shares on Instagram this month:

“It’s not that deep!” Well, I have a shovel and I enjoy digging for meaning.

59 shares on TikTok this month:

Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.

66 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s a little ironic when you consider that the Internet was invented to save time.

93 shares on Discord this month:

Why’d they call it a fly swatter and not a splatula?

93 shares on Instagram this month:

Turns out “V for Vendetta” is not an educational movie and it won’t teach your kids the alphabet.

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a second.

96 shares on YouTube this month:

This whole week could have been an email.

100 shares on YouTube this month:

When my wife packs for a trip she basically moves out.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Opening up to people is a scam. Don’t do it.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

That awkward moment, when all eyes are on the bride, but your son is the groom.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Just had a salad but it didn’t make me laugh like women in stock photos.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The problem with people starts when we expect things from them, or have anything to do with them.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I bet my calculator app wrapped would be pretty shameful.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Tuah Kill a Hawkingbird

20 folks are currently checking 👀

White Lotus is a cautionary tale about taking time off from work.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve just learned terrible news. My department at work is planning a team-building retreat. Thank you for your thoughts during this difficult time.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

French is bullshit. They keep changing the translation of ‘soup du jour’ each day.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I want someone to look at me the way I look at a travel booking website.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,314

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

If you can figure out how to configure your default state to be slightly amused rather than slightly annoyed, you pretty much enter God Mode.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

When people are telling me a story about their life it often reminds me of a much better story from my life.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Just realised if I have a kid, they’re likely to see the year 2100… WTF?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Never underestimate my ability to fall asleep in a moving vehicle.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

This is the dumbest apocalypse ever.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Sex is great, but have you ever had your alarm go off and then realize you don’t have to get up today?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Me, as a therapist: “OMG, me too!”

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

My favorite childhood memory is having energy.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Men absolutely love buying the same shirt in four almost identical colors and saying, ‘Yep, that’ll do me for the next three years.’

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The problem with self-checkout is that all the cashiers are idiots.

Spotted on YouTube:

As a sales clerk, you want to shout after some people as they leave the store: “Are you sure you’ve really REALLY touched everything?”

Going bananas on Snapchat:

The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Love how Batman: The Animated Series seems to take place in the 40s and the 50s and the 70s and the 90s all at once.

Going viral on X:

Being sober would be a lot easier if I liked myself.

Just landed via Discord:

Have you ever met the human version of a headache?

Going viral on Pinterest:

Having divorced parents as an adult is funny because you and your siblings are like, “Damn, who has custody of Mom today?”

Broadcasted on Threads:

Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.

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