Wordgag 🎅

Commentary:
"Ah, the timeless art of keeping people on their toes! 🤰😂 Who needs a due date when you can keep them guessing, right? 🤔 #ExpectingConfusion"

ask, asked, due, humor, i, mean, people, pregnant, question, response, sarcasm, say

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You okay, babe? You’ve hardly touched the promises you made me.

0

2 months ago

babe, conversation, date, expectations, humor, me, okay, promise, relationship
My kids wanted a spooky story from the olden days so I told them the internet used to scream when you turned it on.

0

2 months ago

days, humor, i, internet, kids, nostalgia, olden, olden days, parenting, scream, spooky, spooky story, story, technology, used, wanted
My new pajamas have no pockets. I don’t want to hear your problems.

0

2 months ago

comfort, hear, humor, i, joke, new, pajama, pajamas, pockets, privacy, problems, sarcasm, want
I don’t mind pulling your cart — I’ve been chasing the carrot anyway, and it’s in the same direction.

0

2 months ago

carrot, cart, chase, chasing, determination, direction, effort, humor, humor in effort, i, lighthearted, mind, motivation, playful, pursuit, same
Curly fries are my favorite as they’re salty and spiraling, like me.

0

2 months ago

curly, curly fry, favorite, food, fry, humor, me, personality, salty, self-description, spiraling
I wish laying in bed all day made me rich.

0

2 months ago

bed, day, dream, humor, i, irony, laying, lazy, me, rich, wish

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on WeChat this month:

The fatigue is reaching levels that shouldn’t even be possible.

53 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m gonna put “CEO of Blockbuster Video” on my resume because who are they gonna call to confirm?

43 shares on Pinterest this month:

Headache pro-tip: Bang your toe into something.

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I hope this email finds you in the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.

82 shares on Slack this month:

If I complain about being out of shape, I don’t actually want fitness tips and workouts to try. I just want to complain and remain out of shape. What is wrong with you people?

27 shares on Twitch this month:

Nobody says “boom shakalaka” like they used to.

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

Stop asking me if I’m tired. Can’t I just be ugly?

27 shares on Facebook this month:

“I’m a very sleepy person, just at all the wrong times.”

68 shares on Reddit this month:

I hope none of the people I vowed to “help hide a body” ever actually need my help.

12 shares on TikTok this month:

That gap in my resume is from when I was lost at sea.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

I hate when I have dreams about work. I’m not getting paid to interact with these people on my time off!

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Putting sunscreen on kids feels like cardio.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

There’s a fat man inside me dying to get out.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

90% of debugging is just realizing your own stupidity in slow motion.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

The biggest first-world problem is having your favorite makeup product be discontinued.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Getting to the age where I’m like, “Oh, hopefully I’ll be dead by then.”

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

People who pee in the shower, have you thought about peeing before you get in the shower?

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

It’s so hot, ice bears are opening lemonade stands.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Movie date at my house, but we use pirated sites and spend all night closing pop-ups.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Gonna mess with my husband by texting “send nudes” when he’s in a work meeting.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I’m at the age where an uncomfortable bed will have me injured for a couple of days.

Just shared via Instagram:

Girl, are you an Uber driver? Because you are driving me to drink.

Going bananas on Threads:

Unfortunately, I wasn’t built for casual dating, I’m only built for intense soul crushing love at first sight.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I know that we aren’t supposed to self diagnose but I’ve googled all of my symptoms and I’m fairly sure I’m a raccoon.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Aliens probably have group chats called Don’t Stop on Earth.

Just landed via Snapchat:

It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a Like.

Just shared via Discord:

Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

If I was in Jaws, instead of wishing for a bigger boat, I probably would have just asked for a smaller shark.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I love icebreakers. They really give me time to anxiously reflect on what the most fun fact about me is, while I don’t listen to anyone else at all.

Going viral on WeChat:

I like people who can admit their mistakes and apologize. In other words, I like very few people.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

If I was pregnant and people asked when I was due, I would say “What do you mean?”

Related Funny Posts 🤝

You okay, babe? You’ve hardly touched the promises you made me.

My kids wanted a spooky story from the olden days so I told them the internet used to scream when you turned it on.

My new pajamas have no pockets. I don’t want to hear your problems.

I don’t mind pulling your cart — I’ve been chasing the carrot anyway, and it’s in the same direction.

Curly fries are my favorite as they’re salty and spiraling, like me.

I wish laying in bed all day made me rich.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨