Trendy Funny Quotes

  • It takes only one person in this world to make you smile. It’s called a plastic surgeon.
  • A tip for your next salary negotiation: simply tell your boss “either I get a pay rise or I go out and tell everyone I got one!”
  • If you buy something with a lifetime warranty and it breaks, the manufacturer will send a hitman to your house.
  • Just had a salad but it didn’t make me laugh like women in stock photos.
  • “Out of sight, out of mind” doesn’t work for donuts.
  • I’m sick of getting woken up at 6am by the bin men. I just want a nice sleep but they always insist that I get out of the bin before they collect it.