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Commentary:
"If only my bank balance could match the extravagance of my daily calorie intake! 🍔💸 Oh, the dreams we dare to dream between the fries and the funds… 😅 #LifeGoals #FoodieFinance"

balance, bank, bank balance, calorie, calorie intake, daily, diet, fitness, food, high, humor, intake, irony, money

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

God created childbirth so women could know how men feel when we have a cold.

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2 months ago

childbirth, cold, empathy, feel, gender, gender humor, God, humor, know, men, perspective, relationships, women
I want a pet eagle that’s trained to steal people’s sandwiches for me.

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2 months ago

animal, eagle, food, humor, i, me, pet, sandwich, steal, training, want
There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

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2 months ago

annoyance, behavior, communication, everyone, font, font size, humor, i, me, name, sarcasm, size, someone, taken, team, type, whenever, workplace
When people suck the life out of you, they should take some fat too.

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2 months ago

drain, energy, energy drain, fat, fatigue, humor, humor quote, life, motivation, people, sarcasm, self-care, should, suck, take, too, witty
I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

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2 months ago

awake, email, hope, humor, i, keeps, message, night, sarcasm, sleep, wakefulness
The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

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2 months ago

completion, done, fact, humor, i, irony, job, motivation, procrastinate, procrastination, productivity, reason, self-awareness, still, task, task completion, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on Snapchat this month:

What I’ve learned in all these years of marriage is how to open a bottle of beer silently.

77 shares on Reddit this month:

Jehovah’s Witnesses tell the worst knock knock jokes.

45 shares on TikTok this month:

The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.

55 shares on Discord this month:

Getting left on read really gives me perspective on what Nigerian princes go through.

71 shares on Discord this month:

Monday is already sending me threatening glances from across the room.

43 shares on WeChat this month:

My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

20 shares on YouTube this month:

Dating scene and the job market are the same right now, just stay where you are.

47 shares on Telegram this month:

There is no bigger lie than “fun for the whole family”.

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing.

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s: you get tired from sleeping now.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Men invented pool tables so they could watch each other bend over.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m so broke, I owe myself money.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

No email needs to tell me not to reply.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Interesting people are my favorite endangered species.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Why go to the art museum when I can just stare at you?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

We’ve historically done extremely well with regime change, so this should be a piece of cake.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Someone called me strict today, and that means a lot to me because I’m a recovering people pleaser.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Sometimes I wonder if the strangers I see when I go outside are actually the people I talk to online.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

Five out of six people find Russian Roulette to be a safe activity.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Naps are tricky. Either you wake up relaxed and refreshed, or you have a headache, a dry throat and no idea what year it is.

Broadcasted on Slack:

You can make a salad without lettuce if you want, there are no rules.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I don’t wanna start the year with any negativity so if you and I have had issues in the past, apologize to me immediately.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I don’t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security.

Trending via Twitch:

I hate when people tell me I need to “get out of my comfort zone,” like I don’t even have a comfort zone; I am literally always uncomfortable.

Spotted on Snapchat:

My rapper name would be 2 stressd.

Just landed via X:

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep, not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Spotted on Threads:

“I hate small talk!” Oh okay. Do you think all your grandparents are going to heaven?

Making waves on Snapchat:

When I was a kid, we weren’t allowed to use our phones in school. Mainly because the cords wouldn’t reach.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If only my bank balance was as high as my daily calorie intake.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

God created childbirth so women could know how men feel when we have a cold.

I want a pet eagle that’s trained to steal people’s sandwiches for me.

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

When people suck the life out of you, they should take some fat too.

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨