If only my bank balance was as high as my daily calorie intake.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Іf you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

I wanna be a villain so I can just saunter everywhere. The heroes are always sprinting, always running. You ever seen Darth Vader run? Hell no. And I ain’t about to either.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

My best friend is married and buying a house. I ate popcorn for dinner.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Your password must contain a character… with a tragic backstory.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

The only hot singles in my area are in my wallet.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

It’s weird when you realize that what you thought was rock bottom was actually somewhere around rock middle.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

I am losing touch with reality and I couldn’t be happier.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Why waste words or gestures when a raised eyebrow is enough to make a statement?