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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Wi-Fi: Your internet connection is unstable. Me: You should see my life.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

The first 120 hours after the weekend are always the worst.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

I am convinced that some of you are failed experiments that gained sentience and escaped from a lab.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry, but when you call me ‘batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

By the time he entered rehab, Popeye was more spinach than sailor man.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

There’s going to be a full moon this Christmas! Because mixing family and alcohol together wasn’t enough…

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Having to pee when you’re driving is problematic. Having to sneeze when you’re driving is even more problematic.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

I hate when a guy asks “can you cook?” Can you build a house?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

797 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,959

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,959

52 minutes ago

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

Google Maps should start screaming the more wrong turns you make.

Reported on Twitch:

“At your big age” is one of my favorite insults.

Making waves on Slack:

Sorry I was late, I was frantically applying to other jobs.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I love my cat, but I hope in her next life she’s reincarnated as the owner of a very whiny cat.

Breaking via TikTok:

Love is in the air fryer.

Going viral on Instagram:

Life is so boring when you don’t have a package on the way.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Uber Eats “you forgot to finish your order” notification is funny because I didn’t forget, I just came to my senses.

Making waves on TikTok:

I don’t need a midlife crisis. My whole life is a crisis.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Saw a shooting star and made a wish for everyone to stop talking to me.

If you think I’m rude, you should hear the voices in my head.

5 months ago

If you think I’m rude, you should hear the voices in my head.

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Commentary:
Oh, you'd be amazed at the epic showdown happening in there! 🗣️💬 One voice is like a sassy diva, and the other is a sarcastic comedian. 💁‍♀️🤣 So, when someone accuses you of being rude, just say, "You have no idea what's happening backstage!" 🎭😜 #InnerMonologueDrama

head, hear, humor, mental, rude, sarcasm, should, think, thoughts, voices

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

797 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,959

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,959

52 minutes ago

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

I wish I could join, but I’m busy plotting revenge because my kids laughed when I showed them I can shake it better than Shakira.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

I think that police officers on foot should wear blue flashing sneakers.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

There are advantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it. There are disadvantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

My home security system is just a copy of my paycheck taped to my front door.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

My neighbors listen to really good music, whether they like it or not.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Car naps hit different, especially when you are the one driving.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Having an exorcism, but only because the demon requested it.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Mind if I crawl into your DMs and stay there for a while?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Who called them sea lions and not soggy doggies?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Hannibal Lecter didn’t have to be a serial killer, he was scary enough as a foodie.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I hope my email finds you enraged.

Reported on Messenger:

I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

Spotted on Telegram:

The longer I stay home, the more homeless I look.

Just landed via Discord:

Sports are better when you have hate in your heart.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Gen Z will be like “OMG new life hack!” and then it’s a video of them adjusting the toaster dial.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” then start drawing a pentagram in blood on their floorboards.

Just landed via Threads:

You should be able to donate somebody else’s body to science.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I only went to medical school to figure out where your arms are supposed to go when you sleep and they didn’t even teach us that.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I put on my Godzilla costume, then go to the miniature golf course to beat up the windmill.

Spotted on Instagram:

We’ve got a shituation here.

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