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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I bet the kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were surprised when found out their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today. I need the blood of my enemies.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Don’t ask me why, but the older you get, the more you love coffee.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Why do humans need jobs? Why can’t I just exist and make art and chill with my cat?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Welcome to middle age. You now take pictures of instructions so you can enlarge them.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

I never wanted to become one of those adults who just find the music of the younger generation annoying. Nobody could have guessed that the music was just annoying.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

I remember when asking someone if they were on X meant something completely different.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Here I am, block me like a hurricane.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Most of being a woman is just removing exclamation points from emails before you send them.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

“Made with love,” means I licked the spoon and kept using it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,412

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

Was already at my breaking point, and then had to use the authenticator app.

Making waves on Slack:

Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

My exorcist thinks we should see other demons.

Spotted on WeChat:

Who called it a heatwave and not a temperature tantrum?

Just shared via Twitch:

My chess strategy is eating one of your pieces every time you look away.

Just shared via Facebook:

“Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” by “Wham” encourages you to do something you shouldn’t do.

Making waves on Slack:

The reward for doing really good work is more work.

Spotted on Messenger:

Unfortunately, I could never be nonchalant because I am not well in the head, and also my soul is on fire.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Having a horse run off on you in medieval times must have been crazy. Imagine if your car got scared and ran away, and you found it a day later by itself at a gas station.

Live now on Slack:

The only thing I don’t miss about the 90s is people smelling like cigarettes.

If you’re the type of person who likes to be left alone, I’m with you. Better yet, I’m not with you.

If you’re the type of person who likes to be left alone, I’m with you. Better yet, I’m not with you.
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Commentary:
Ah, the perfect arrangement for introverts: alone together! 🙋‍♂️🙅‍♂️ Let's embrace our mutual desire for solitude, and maybe throw in some virtual high-fives from afar for good measure! 🤝🌌 #IntrovertPals

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My goal was to look good in a bikini this summer, but the call of the barbecue is stronger.

98 shares on Facebook this month:

If I were a mouse, I’d say things like “cheesed to meet you”.

100 shares on Snapchat this month:

To get my cat to eat, I tell him about all the hungry cats in Catfrica.

74 shares on Threads this month:

Self-help books are brain rot. Return to fiction.

40 shares on WeChat this month:

Bought an eggplant, imma grow my own eggs.

50 shares on Messenger this month:

Marry the man who treats your dumb questions like they’re NASA-level problems.

26 shares on WeChat this month:

The people who are $30 trillion in debt are giving you a credit score.

100 shares on YouTube this month:

Odd—my boss told me to meet him at the abandoned quarry at midnight for my performance evaluation.

88 shares on X this month:

I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.

98 shares on Slack this month:

Went to the grocery store hungry. I didn’t need to pay rent this month anyway.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope some dyslexic people don’t mail Satan instead of Santa.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My parents told me Santa wasn’t real when I was 16. Jokes on them, because I’m at the mall right now, and guess who’s here.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I like to minimize the disappointment by being myself right from the start.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Everybody in the grocery store is my enemy, and I will not be elaborating.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

For Halloween, I wanna be loved.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Every room is a panic room if someone farts.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

They lie on the job descriptions, so lie on your resume.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Commenting “AI slop” under pictures of my friends’ kids opening presents.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My Saturday was going really well, until I realized it’s Sunday!

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Another day of explaining to mom that New York is big and the footage she saw wasn’t shot on my street.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,533

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

My husband is trying to convince me that we’re in a situationship. “The situation is that we live in the same house and love each other.”

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Most attractive muscle on a man? The frontal lobe. Fully developed.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

I hate it when I go to the kitchen for food and only find ingredients.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Not now, I’m busy doing tax crimes on my abacus.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

We put a man on the moon in 1969, and if you elect me to be your president, I promise that we will not stop until every man is on the moon.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Welcome to Twitter, where people never let their lack of knowledge get in the way of expressing a strong opinion.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

The first person to realize you can eat bone marrow must have really hated that cow.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

IKEA is like the Hotel California of furniture stores.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

Having sex with the same person gets freakier and nastier each time.

Going bananas on Telegram:

The quality of clothing at retail stores today is quite literally the quality that Halloween costumes used to be.

Spotted on Messenger:

You don’t need a therapist, you need an exorcist.

Going viral on WeChat:

I don’t think I’m allowed to be in public for over an hour.

Going viral on WeChat:

Is everything expensive or am I just poor?

Going viral on Pinterest:

Your future doctor is using ChatGPT to pass med school so you better start eating healthy.

Just landed via Threads:

Political ads be like: send us money so we can send you more ads.

Live now on Twitch:

I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

For a guy with no reflection, Dracula’s eyeliner is always flawless.

Just landed via X:

Sorry for running at you on all fours, I was excited to see you.

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