I’ll call it a smartphone when I yell “Where’s my phone?” and it yells back “Down here in the couch cushions!”

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Getting so tangled in the sex shop bead curtain that they have to put me down like a horse with a broken leg.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Hulk Hogan’s gone, so I’ll be ripping shirts and screaming “BROTHERRR!” at strangers in his honor.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Fuzzy socks on and ready for anything.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

If I ever have a daughter, I’m going to call her Erica, but spell it Airwrecka.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

It’s scary when the washing machine spins really fast.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Inflation is actually a good thing, it means money is going viral.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

There’s no-one who can get more drunk on power than the admin of a village Facebook group.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

In six days God created heaven and earth. On the seventh day, in the interests of balance, the BBC interviewed Satan.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Good morning to life’s chaos, where my coffee is the only thing that makes sense!