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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

You know when you have so much to do that you just sit down and do nothing?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Girls these days are like a box of chocolates. Some have nuts.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

That little stroll to the coffee maker makes me happy every morning.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can’t sleep.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

I have money, then I don’t have money, it all happens so fast!

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Me: I love you more than a flower loves the sun. Him: I love you more than a teenager loves his phone.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Please pray for my husband, he’s struggling to find me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

824 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,986

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,986

Updated

57 minutes ago

Users Online

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

I don’t need the web for attention, I jog in a wedding dress.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Just once I’d like to buy a house plant that didn’t have the lifespan of a soap bubble.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Sometimes being on your phone all day is your destiny.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Life’s too short to remove the USB drive safely.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Trying to explain that I’m fascinated by Japan for wood joinery reasons and not nerd or pervert reasons.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

My only chance at a big house in the country is if I become a rescue dog.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Found a picture of me sitting on Santa’s lap. Hard to believe it’s been a whole year.

Just landed via Instagram:

Girl math is crying for two hours and then realizing it wasn’t that deep.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Christmas bonus so small you have to call your bank and ask “is it in yet?”

I’m basically the human version of tangled up Christmas lights.

I’m basically the human version of tangled up Christmas lights.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Trying to unravel my thoughts and emotions is like attempting to untangle a mess of Christmas lights – it's twisted, knotted, and sometimes just ends up in a heap on the floor 🎄😅 #TangledHumanProblems"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

824 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,986

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,986

Updated

57 minutes ago

Users Online

3,420

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Using Indeed feels like being an ugly guy on a dating app.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

I could never commit gun violence. The only things I know how to reload are my pill caddy and the batteries for the remote.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

I wonder if the sun also takes pictures of humanity going down?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Responding to any and all emails with ‘wow ok’

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

I am like the weather. Temporarily friendly.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Amazing how fast my addiction to my phone is cured the moment I get a phone call.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

You should always wash your sheets once a week in case they are really ghosts and need a shower.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Comments other people make during a movie are annoying. Comments I make during a movie enhance the experience.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Facebook:

So many people to disappoint, so little time.

Spotted on Instagram:

Yeah, I work at the fart bar. Yup. I’m a fartender. Farts on me tonight!

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I wonder how many new moms try to pick out a unique name for their baby only to later learn it’s the name of an antidepressant.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Back then, my parents were afraid of what I would do on the Internet. Today, I’m afraid of what my parents do on the Internet.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

My favorite military tradition is asking someone what an acronym means right after they use it, and they don’t know what it means.

Breaking via TikTok:

So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

Trending via TikTok:

Everybody thinks “Free Hugs” signs are cute, unless you’re a boa constrictor.

Making waves on Messenger:

Friday the 13th used to mean something. Now every day is awful.

Going viral on Snapchat:

What we need is an evil Santa who steals our children’s most annoying toys.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I have browser tabs open that are older than you.

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