Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Coffee: Because without it I would be a serious danger to society.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this red wine just now.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

If Halloween is over, then why am I still scared?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

That odd feeling when your lunch break is over and you still have to work for another 30 years.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m a freak in the spreadsheets.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

The next James Bond should be weird. Like he wears a train conductor’s hat and is afraid of balloons.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

I’m like … if parking too far away from the curb was a person.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Where does everyone go to get kisses? I haven’t figured this out yet.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

You can’t stop me. My tampon wrapper told me I was bold and brilliant.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

I’m a go with the flow kind of gal unless the flow is after 9pm or involves parallel parking.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,399

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

I just come here for the free life advice and inspirational quotes from people who’s lives are complete train wrecks.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

You ever just see a tree and be like, “Bob Ross would’ve liked this one”?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Gonna take the kids to the planetarium so they can watch YouTube on their phones.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Jobs are so clingy. Why do you need to see me 40 hours a week?

Making waves on Reddit:

McDonald’s needs a 3rd window so you can trade in all the wrong stuff they gave you.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Everybody thinks “Free Hugs” signs are cute, unless you’re a boa constrictor.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Accidentally manifested an emotionally intelligent man that is hot and can cook. We’re currently staring at each other.

Going viral on Telegram:

The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.”

Spotted on Reddit:

I ran out of toilet paper so I had to start using old newspapers. The Times are rough.

Spotted on Threads:

Social media can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

“I’m fluent in creating worst-case scenarios in my head.”

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Master of imaginary disasters reporting for duty! 🚨🤯🎭

anxiety, creating, fluency, head, humor, imagination, overthinking, scenario, self-awareness, worst-case, worst-case scenario

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Noam Chomsky sounds like the legal name of the very hungry caterpillar.

0

2 months ago

caterpillar, chomsky, food, humor, hungry, hungry caterpillar, legal, literature, name, names, noam, Noam Chomsky, wordplay
Every house is a dream house when you can’t afford one.

0

2 months ago

afford, affordability, dream, dream house, estate, every, house, humor, irony, perspective, real, real estate, wishes
The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

0

4 weeks ago

5, am, bed, bedtime, before, book, humor, i, insomnia, late, late night, me, night, night owl, owl, procrastination, read, reading, sleep, sleepy, thing, whole, worth
Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

0

2 months ago

diagram, hate, humor, love, middle, opinion, preferences, venn, Venn diagram
It’s crazy how social media convinced us that 15 likes aren’t enough. Imagine 15 people in real life telling you that you looked good.

0

2 months ago

comparison, compliments, convinced, crazy, culture, enough, good, imagine, life, likes, media, online, online culture, people, real, real life, self-esteem, self-worth, social, social comparison, social media, telling, us, validation, virtual, virtual validation
I am the proud father of two content providers. I mean children. Two children.

0

2 months ago

am, children, content, content provider, dad, dad jokes, family, father, humor, i, jokes, mean, parent, parenting, proud, proud parent, provider

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Threads this month:

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

81 shares on Snapchat this month:

Look, babe, I’m sorry. If your fake British accent keeps being this geographically inconsistent, I’m going to have to cancel the medieval roleplay sex.

91 shares on YouTube this month:

My boss was like, “People working from home are just pretending to work,” and it’s like, dude, what do you think I’m doing in the office?

70 shares on YouTube this month:

I like the concept of restaurant appetizers: “Bring me something to eat. And bring me something else to eat while I’m waiting.”

30 shares on Threads this month:

Being strange is exhausting.

75 shares on Threads this month:

Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

20 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m blunt because the universe rolled me that way.

74 shares on Telegram this month:

Don’t stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It’s nature’s way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror.

67 shares on Pinterest this month:

Being Leonardo DiCaprio is like driving in a school zone. You don’t go above twenty-five.

67 shares on Snapchat this month:

Parenting sometimes feels like you’re an elevator. Lots of ups and downs and the kids love to push your buttons.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Are you spaghetti because I want you to meat my balls?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Wondering when these skinny jeans are gonna kick in.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Guy smoking weed daily: “I think smoking weed in moderation is fine.”

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Are people born with photographic memories or do they take time to develop?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

The main reason I got divorced was cause I got married.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here eating Nutella from the jar with a spoon.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

I enjoy the freedom of speech, because if you let crazy people talk, they’ll totally tell you they’re crazy.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

We’ve historically done extremely well with regime change, so this should be a piece of cake.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

How you conduct yourself when using plastic wrap is the real you.

Just shared via WeChat:

I love cute tiny purses, but I’m sad to say I can never be a cute tiny purse girl. I need to haul my hoard of objects everywhere I go, because what if….

Making waves on Instagram:

Someone asked, “Can I bum a scroll?” because they deleted Instagram off their phone.

Spotted on Facebook:

When you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants, so it’s illegal to dig it up. Follow me for more gardening tips!

Going viral on Telegram:

The universe clearly isn’t working as it should so someone should turn it off and back on again.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Playdates were invented to force parents into cleaning their home.

Just landed via X:

Don’t invite me anywhere last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

Spotted on Threads:

Shy with a mean resting face is a crazy combo.

Trending via YouTube:

“You’re a cougar!” God forbid a woman gives back to the youth.

Seen just now on Slack:

Just a few more hours of scrolling, and then I will finally know.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“I’m fluent in creating worst-case scenarios in my head.”

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Noam Chomsky sounds like the legal name of the very hungry caterpillar.

Every house is a dream house when you can’t afford one.

The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

It’s crazy how social media convinced us that 15 likes aren’t enough. Imagine 15 people in real life telling you that you looked good.

I am the proud father of two content providers. I mean children. Two children.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨