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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Christmas can be really hard for single people. Everyone else is having a brilliant time and we have to hide the fact that every day is like that for us.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on social media every day.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Shoulda named my daughter Calculus cause damn she’s complicated.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

If this meeting were any slower, it’d be a landscape painting.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Watermelon. The fruit that comes with a workout.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

“Comparison is the thief of joy!” Well, not if you’re better than everyone else.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

They can steal your recipe, but the sauce won’t taste the same.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

After cooking show a dishwashing show with same host but kind of drunk.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Someday I’ll learn how to emotion like a proper human.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

That stupid look on my face is my face.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,693

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Putting your wedding scrapbook in the little free library is an unprecedented level of divorced.

Seen just now on Messenger:

It sucks that crazy people ruined wearing tinfoil hats for those of us that just did it for fashion purposes.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Currently helping my nephew look for his M&M’s that I ate yesterday.

Shared recently on Threads:

Women are actually very understanding if you’re honest with them, especially if they like you. You don’t even have to do all that lying.

Trending via Slack:

Thoughts & prayers to all of us back at work tomorrow after the colossal mistake of thinking we’d be lads of leisure forever, for some reason.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Don’t understand why electricians aren’t called power rangers, but okay.

Going viral on Twitch:

I think my wife has got early Alzheimer’s. Every day she tells me that she has no idea what she first saw in me.

Making waves on Twitch:

Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

Just landed via Instagram:

How did they get kids to pose for oil paintings? Mine won’t sit still for 4 seconds for a family photo.

Trending via Threads:

If ads were a person, it would be that one neighbor who won’t stop talking to you at the most inconvenient of times.

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about using moisturizer to mask years of tiredness, humorous and playful vibe.

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Commentary:
"Looking for a moisturizer that can hide the fact that my under-eye bags have their own postal code 💌💤 #TiredSince2010"

2010, exhaustion, fact, hide, humor, looking, moisturizer, self-care, skincare, tired

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Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Threads this month:

I simply accept my extreme loneliness as punishment for something I did in a past life, and don’t worry about it.

40 shares on Twitch this month:

When I retire, I’m going to run for office.

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

Don’t ask me ‘how are you?’ unless you’re willing to sign an NDA.

70 shares on Instagram this month:

The sexual tension between me and not finishing the last 2 episodes of a drama.

58 shares on Discord this month:

I’m forced to conclude that not liking my posts is a you problem.

34 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park.

95 shares on Threads this month:

At this point making life choices involves liquor and a dart board.

52 shares on Twitch this month:

The phrase “Treat yourself” has ruined my bank account and waistline.

61 shares on Twitch this month:

Slim Shady implies the existence of Thicc Sunny.

38 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Can anyone recommend some basic intrusive thoughts for someone looking to get into anxiety?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Memes are the most information-dense form of communication.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

I only obey the traffic rules to get on other peoples’ nerves.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

My mom and all her opinions are visiting this weekend.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Opening a bakery and calling it “I’m a crepe. I’m a weird dough.”

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage I’m like “yeah, me know”.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

When the salesman from the hearing aid company calls, I stay on the line and answer every question with ‘What?’

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m not fragile like a flower. I’m fragile like a bomb.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

“You’re under the weather?” We all are, idiot. It’s in the sky.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m scared to go to an art museum, because what if they decide to keep me?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

People in NYC are like, let me know if you’re ever in NYC.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

“Are you single?” No, I’m in a hallucinationship.

Just landed via Facebook:

Waking up early is always beneficial. You just gotta make it past those first 10 minutes of being irritated.

Just shared via Twitch:

If I ask “What’s your zodiac sign?” it’s either because we’re vibing or you’re getting on my nerves.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Your problems are neither sexual nor spiritual, they are gastrointestinal.

Just landed via Messenger:

Whenever you are feeling down, remember you’re the sperm that won.

Making waves on Snapchat:

“I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

Seen just now on Threads:

Abandoned amusement parks are so creepy. It’s no wonder they were abandoned.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

You don’t scare me, I was married once.

Freshly posted on X:

Grocery shopping while hungry feels like online shopping while drunk.

Going viral on Instagram:

I exaggerated on my job application and said I wanted to work for a living.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

Friends are God’s way of apologizing to us for our families.

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend clearly has never met shredded cheese.

Saying “Who is it?” when the doctor knocks on the exam room door.

Nothing is complicated when you’re simple-minded like me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Friends are God’s way of apologizing to us for our families.

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend clearly has never met shredded cheese.

Saying “Who is it?” when the doctor knocks on the exam room door.

Nothing is complicated when you’re simple-minded like me.

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in a different realm.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨