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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

The pain of watching a movie with someone who talks a lot.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Sundays are no place for pants or responsibility.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

When I retire, I’m going to run for office.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Trying to eat with my left hand because I need a little excitement in my life.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Nothing fixes your life the way deactivating Instagram does.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

This is my emotional support online shopping cart.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Salt is just angry sugar.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Explain it to me like I’m 5 drinks in.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,683

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

Ugh, those red and blue flashing lights are interfering with my driving and scrolling.

Trending via Messenger:

Hey! Sorry I missed your text, I am processing a non-stop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I’m doing a challenge called ‘November’ — it’s where I just try to get through every day in the month of November.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I am not responsible for what my face does when you talk.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

If someone steals your joke, you have to file a LOLsuit.

Seen just now on TikTok:

These days, you gotta have a job for the bills and another job for yourself.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think outside the box. I don’t even know where the box is.

Just shared via TikTok:

If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

Spotted on Threads:

Life is just resetting your password until you die.

Just landed via TikTok:

I’m perverted, but in an elegant and whimsical way.

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

3 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about using moisturizer to mask years of tiredness, humorous and playful vibe.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looking for a moisturizer that can hide the fact that my under-eye bags have their own postal code 💌💤 #TiredSince2010"

2010, exhaustion, fact, hide, humor, looking, moisturizer, self-care, skincare, tired

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Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on WeChat this month:

Sunday is proof that time travel exists, because it was just Friday.

12 shares on YouTube this month:

Going on dates is hard because do I like them or do I just have sooo much fun being me.

12 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Kinda in the mood to let my feelings impair my judgement.

91 shares on Discord this month:

Shouldn’t it have been called the ‘not answering machine’?

83 shares on Slack this month:

I will never give another woman my heart until I see how she acts when a bee flies at her.

56 shares on Threads this month:

It’s okay to love your job. Just know it doesn’t love you back.

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

My diet was going really well until I woke up.

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

The longest and most adventurous journeys begin with the words: “I know a shortcut.”

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Alexa, mute my children.

16 shares on Discord this month:

Rather than touching grass, I recommend going to a concert and experiencing the live performance of that one song you hold religiously close to your heart.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Men playing hard to get when they’re already hard to want, is so funny to me.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

The price of groceries has gotten me thinking about what acorns taste like.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

If I could have immunity to anything I would pick calories.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

I don’t need a midlife crisis. My whole life is a crisis.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

I lied, there is no sex. You’re helping me repot plants.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Bok Choy is a dope name for a vegetable.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Please pray for my daughter, who had to empty the dishwasher when she “just did this yesterday and she’s tired.”

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

(Flirting) What’s every single thing you’ve ever thought?

Spotted on Pinterest:

iPad PR is so crazy because you think you absolutely need one until you get it.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Crying at my desk while also finding time to cry in the shower makes for a healthy work-life balance.

Shared recently on WeChat:

The Velvet Underground probably wouldn’t have been so influential if I was at their shows with a giant magnet and pulled their guitars out of their hands.

Trending via Instagram:

One of my greatest strengths is appearing busy so people don’t try to speak to me.

Shared recently on Twitch:

“Your account balance is low!” Brother, wait until you see my will to live.

Spotted on Messenger:

Doing all of this just to die in the end! LMAO!

Just landed via Instagram:

Of course, a wife can complain to her mother-in-law. She has every right to complain to the manufacturer.

Seen just now on Twitch:

First they give you butterflies, then mental health problems.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Someone needs to invent a theater seat that forcefully ejects you through the roof if you take your phone out during a movie.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

Being excited to get in bed is a different level of adulting.

I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

My parents often told me I would lose my own head if it wasn’t screwed on and now that I’m an adult, I want to know what tools I need to have it screwed off.

My husband said I use a lot of makeup, so I showed him some makeup tutorials on TikTok and I don’t think he’ll be making that mistake again.

Don’t wait until you’re on your death bed to let them know how you feel. You may be too weak to raise your middle finger.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Being excited to get in bed is a different level of adulting.

I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

My parents often told me I would lose my own head if it wasn’t screwed on and now that I’m an adult, I want to know what tools I need to have it screwed off.

My husband said I use a lot of makeup, so I showed him some makeup tutorials on TikTok and I don’t think he’ll be making that mistake again.

Don’t wait until you’re on your death bed to let them know how you feel. You may be too weak to raise your middle finger.

If I get rid of social media, how will I know what everyone ate for dinner?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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