Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

I do not use AI, I use Reddit commenters’ opinions as fact because they are right.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

I will marry a tall, masculine, lovey-dovey man who can’t breathe when I ignore his existence.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

You don’t really see women throwing their boyfriend’s stuff out the window anymore.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Using a remote to type on a keyboard on the TV is truly one of the worst human experiences that we endure.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Money is always a motive for murder. Stay broke.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

I won’t be accepting any parcels for the neighbors in December this year. Last year it was all junk.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Due to personal reasons, I will be screaming into a pillow.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Free will: where you get to choose your own adventure … and regret it.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Best threesome: me, my bed and my pillow.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

301 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,570

Funny Quotes Topics

17,628

Funny Quotes Images

15,570

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,340

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

Men be like, yes, I hurt you, but now you hate me, so I am the true victim.

Just shared via YouTube:

“I’m not short. I’m just more down to earth than most people.”

Going viral on Slack:

My personal brand is being the guest at a wedding who can’t dance but puts in a noticeable effort.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

Just landed via X:

The most avoided species of shark is the Loan.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

A bathrobe is being naked with plausible deniability and pockets.

Seen just now on Twitch:

“This too shall pass!” Okay, but like, when exactly?

Just shared via Facebook:

I don’t even want a new year this year. I’ll take a lightly used 2006, if it’s available.

Making waves on Twitch:

Kissing while both wearing baseball caps is so hard. How do baseball players do it?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

The world is such a beautiful place when you don’t think too hard about it or look around.

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looking for a moisturizer that can hide the fact that my under-eye bags have their own postal code 💌💤 #TiredSince2010"

2010, exhaustion, fact, hide, humor, looking, moisturizer, self-care, skincare, tired

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The smaller the woman, the bigger the attitude. It’s science.

2 months ago

attitude, bigger, confidence, humor, personality, science, size, smaller, woman
I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.

2 months ago

coffee, drinking, humor, i, mean, mean things, sarcasm, say, self-control, things, welcome
You looked so beautiful and combative as we were detained for questioning.

2 months ago

beautiful, beauty, combative, contrast, detained, humor, interaction, personality, personality contrast, questioning, sarcasm, situation, unexpected, unexpected situation
People always talk about how they love to sit in their cars for a while once they get home. Whenever I do that, my Uber driver yells at me.

3 months ago

always, car, driver, home, humor, i, love, me, people, sit, talk, Uber, waiting, whenever, yell
Every grocery store becomes an escape room if you see someone you know.

2 months ago

anxiety, encounter, escape, escape room, every, funny observation, grocery, grocery store, humor, know, observation, room, social, social anxiety, social encounter, someone, store, surprise
When life shuts a door, open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work.

4 months ago

again, door, humor, life, motivation, open, persistence, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Facebook this month:

I come from a long line of people with something wrong with them.

97 shares on Threads this month:

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

63 shares on Threads this month:

A funny thing about the Heimlich Maneuver is that it’s impossible to pronounce if you’re choking.

37 shares on Threads this month:

It’s that time of year again where I go to random restaurants to tell random women, “So this is why you cancelled our date?”, while they’re out with their significant others.

71 shares on Discord this month:

Are people born with photographic memories or do they take time to develop?

62 shares on Pinterest this month:

My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.

18 shares on Facebook this month:

Have you ever accidentally opened your front-facing camera, and it ruined your day a little?

78 shares on Reddit this month:

There is sex without love, there is love without sex, and there is me without both.

72 shares on TikTok this month:

After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

72 shares on Snapchat this month:

Roses are red, tacos are delicious. I use paper plates, ’cause I hate doing dishes.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. I’m more interested in seeing your Pornhub Wrapped.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Fleetwood Mac said that I could go my own way, your honor.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Mocktails are awesome because they ask the question ‘how much could juice cost?’

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

I’m eating sandwiches you haven’t heard of in jeans you can’t pronounce.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Never forget that, just a couple of years ago, people were justifying paying $20,000 for a JPEG of an ape.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Pretty annoying when someone unfollows me before I can conduct their exit interview.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

It’s awkward touching hands with another man inside a popcorn bag, especially if you don’t know the man and he doesn’t know you’re eating his popcorn.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

I generally don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I’m really good at it.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Getting a wife is very powerful, because you get a personal psychic that will tell you things like, “Your keys are in the gray pants in the hamper,” and “He will ultimately betray you.”

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Most of your problems emanate from assuming that you are intelligent. Ease into your stupidity, and be free.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I’m so jealous of people who know how to shut up. I shut up, and subtitles come out my face.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Twitter is Iike the smoking area for social media.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I really cannot be friends with picky eaters because it somehow always correlates to bigger problems and character flaws.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Roses are pink. I need a drink.

Breaking via Threads:

Where can one find a sugar daddy? Asking for a friend.

Live now on Instagram:

Twitter is evidence that insane people can be extremely entertaining from a safe distance.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Americans be like, “MM:DD:YY” is how you say dates verbally, and then have a national holiday called “4th of July.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The smaller the woman, the bigger the attitude. It’s science.

I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.

You looked so beautiful and combative as we were detained for questioning.

People always talk about how they love to sit in their cars for a while once they get home. Whenever I do that, my Uber driver yells at me.

Every grocery store becomes an escape room if you see someone you know.

When life shuts a door, open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨