I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Nothing angers me more than tall ghosts in horror movies. No one born in 1782 was that tall. Do your research, screenwriters.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Don’t suffer in silence. Make it everyone’s problem.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Sorry I’m unavailable… the horrors of reality insist upon themselves.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

You have hopes and dreams. I have nopes and screams.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

My IQ used to be higher than my weight, but now I’m fat and dumb.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Hey (with the intention of making your fries my fries).

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

A mustache is just mouth bangs.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Fancy restaurants are self-esteem destroyers because good luck not leaving an embarrassing stain on the white table cloth. Ever.