Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

The existence of raw sexuality implies the existence of medium sexuality, but also well-done sexuality.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

I’m a single issue voter. I’m single and it’s an issue.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Whispering to paramedic before I pass out: save me, but not enough that I have to go to work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

It doesn’t matter how old you are, when it starts thundering and lightning, you go and sit at the window to watch.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

I find it sad that my universal remote does not control the universe. Not even remotely.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Weekends are a scam, you spend one day exhausted and the other day anxious. Like, what the hell was that?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

The thing about being 50+ is that whenever an opportunity to pee is available – you’re wise to take it.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Revenge is a dish best served by cutting a sandwich horizontally instead of diagonally.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,527

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

Fact: cats sit on your lap to dominate you.

Going viral on Threads:

For Halloween, I wanna be loved.

Making waves on X:

My tween would like you to know I ruined his life when I told him to stop being super sus and cringe and be more lit yo.

Spotted on Slack:

Who needs dystopian fiction when you can watch the news?

Freshly posted on X:

We get it, comma, you went to Oxford.

Spotted on Slack:

I know I’m almost 40 because I had a few drinks last night and woke up this morning thinking: Oh no I bought so many socks online last night.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Unfortunately, I am the first person in my family to do what they want.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

Just shared via Reddit:

Flirting when bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot.

I’m not getting fatter. I’m increasing my content.

3 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Funny quote about self-perception, highlighting humorously how weight gain is framed as content growth.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who said I'm gaining weight? I'm just expanding my storylines! 📚💪 Don't judge me, I'm just adding more chapters to my life! 📖🍕"

body, body image, content, fat, getting, humor, image, perspective, self-deprecation

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35 shares on Telegram this month:

My mental health is as reliable as a flashlight in a horror film.

46 shares on Telegram this month:

If you’ve never had a cheeseburger change your mood, you’ve never had a cheeseburger.

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I keep my eyes in great shape by rolling them constantly.

91 shares on Slack this month:

Due to inflation, a picture is now worth 2300 words.

66 shares on Messenger this month:

Sometimes a man’s purpose is to simply remind you again and again that you’d be just fine on your own.

51 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t fight my demons anymore. We collaborate.

35 shares on Reddit this month:

I’ve been a main character since birth.

98 shares on Instagram this month:

Be careful when you follow the masses sometimes the M is silent.

92 shares on Reddit this month:

My favorite dance move is trying to get out of my own way.

46 shares on Telegram this month:

Stop checking your phone every minute. No one loves you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

People remind me everyday why I prefer being on my own.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

It would be cool if, after you died, you could see the top 5 times you almost died.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

I’ll make you feel safe in that you’ll know you can outrun me if we are being chased by a murderer.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Before social media, you could just completely forget that somebody existed. Good times.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Hannibal Lecter didn’t have to be a serial killer, he was scary enough as a foodie.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Can someone please fix the algorithm of my life?

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Liking sports is great because you’ll have a bad day, then here your team comes to make it worse.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

As a wife and mother my hobbies include rage cleaning, rage cooking, and rage folding.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

I need to start hiding my money from myself.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Nobody is doing it like me because this is probably not the right way to do it.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks.

Spotted on Telegram:

I could own a thousand summer dresses, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

Live now on WeChat:

Sorry I didn’t get you an anniversary card, babe, but you opted in to paperless affection on our third date.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Might mess around and reply “history will absolve me” to all work emails.

Just shared via Reddit:

New year; new me. Just kidding. I’m already awesome.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

My sex life is so dead, it has its own tombstone.

Going viral on Messenger:

The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

Going viral on Instagram:

JFK is the perfect name for this airport because it’s a bloody headache.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Those astronauts that just landed? They should be greeted by chimpanzees on horses.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m not getting fatter. I’m increasing my content.

I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

I miss when men had big hair, louder feelings, and leaned over cars to declare their love.

It’s not a competition, but if it was I would win.

“Beauty sleep” is bullshit. I sleep 14 hours a day and still look like trash.

I’m going spiraling, do you need anything?

I am re-watching “Narcos,” and I have to say that for someone who smokes so much weed, Pablo Escobar gets a lot done.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m not getting fatter. I’m increasing my content.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

I miss when men had big hair, louder feelings, and leaned over cars to declare their love.

It’s not a competition, but if it was I would win.

“Beauty sleep” is bullshit. I sleep 14 hours a day and still look like trash.

I’m going spiraling, do you need anything?

I am re-watching “Narcos,” and I have to say that for someone who smokes so much weed, Pablo Escobar gets a lot done.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨