Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

If you ever ask a teen to do something and they just say “sure” without arguing, check that they haven’t been replaced with an android.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

German couples probably have less arguments because there’s an exact word for, “I’m fine, just annoyed you forgot the milk again”.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

I could have been somebody if I’d been somebody else.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Literally no one understands something more completely than a woman in a meeting who starts a question with “Just so I understand …”

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

I don’t like this new trend of old people wearing shirts of bands I listened to when I was a kid.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Y’all ever skip a class and then have the post-skip class depression? Like, damn, I should’ve just gone.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Being a goldfish must be brilliant. Every six seconds you’re pleasantly surprised to find that you live in a castle.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

I don’t know how to mop my kitchen floor without pretending l’m cleaning up a gruesome crime scene.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

An electric car is just another electric chair.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,316

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

If you think I’m evil, wait until you meet the man who made me this way.

Going bananas on Threads:

Back in the day, you used to have to listen to records backwards to discover conspiracy theories.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Your child learning to say mommy is when your life begins and ends.

Just landed via WeChat:

I’m writing a fairytale about a printer that just works.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Having a crush on a girl makes you think things like, yes, let me make more money.

Seen just now on Slack:

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

Seen just now on Slack:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

Breaking via X:

Marry the man who treats your dumb questions like they’re NASA-level problems.

Trending via Slack:

The day after Christmas is a dangerous morning to be a microwave.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

My retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding a buried treasure at some point.

In honor of the fall equinox, I will also be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

2 weeks ago

Witty quote about embracing darkness and coldness during fall equinox, humorous and playful.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the fall equinox: the perfect excuse to blame the changing season for our moody behavior! 🍂❄️ Embracing our inner darkness while blaming it on the stars? Brilliant move, my friend, embrace the chill vibes and mysterious aura! 😂"

autumn, change, cold, darkness, distant, equinox, fall, fall equinox, filled, honor, humor, i, seasonal, seasonal change, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on WeChat this month:

Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.

100 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m just going to flip this omelette… Okay, we’re having scrambled eggs.

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Don’t ask me for work advice, I’m just going to tell you to quit your job.

96 shares on Slack this month:

Processed food was literally designed for you to eat. Organic is just some crap they found on the ground somewhere.

83 shares on YouTube this month:

Coffee should be free for everyone Monday through Friday.

85 shares on Snapchat this month:

I hope this email makes you quit your job.

13 shares on Instagram this month:

Life on other planets be like: “I hope those lunatics don’t discover us!”

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

18 shares on Pinterest this month:

Not to brag, but I can shake your hand and forget your name simultaneously.

20 shares on Discord this month:

I love mirrors because they remind me of how pretty I am.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If life could stop teaching me lessons, that would be great.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You can add tears while cooking if you don’t have salt.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

“Never let someone else destroy your stuff when you can destroy it yourself”, every kid I ever.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever came up with the name wallpaper really nailed it.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Distance is my jam; solitude is my peanut butter.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so talented I can not only spill food on my clothes but I can get it on yours too.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Just asked this girl Hannah how she spells her name, and she just said, “Two of everything, darling.” Iconic!

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when I can smell my perfume on myself, like damn girl, you smell delicious.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Haircuts should be covered by insurance.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,594

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here hating myself more.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

In every imagination I have pictured myself in, I’m never poor.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a retard.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

I’m ugly but I can make u laugh.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

You’ll never realize how crazy you really are until you fall in love.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Took my car to the mechanic because it was making a terrible noise. He removed the Mariah Carey Christmas CD, and now it’s fine.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

If I was an elephant, you’d all be sorry.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Y’all ever withheld good news so that it remains untouched by negativity?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Whoever named it overthinking didn’t think hard enough, cause overthinking is never over.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via X:

My mom and all her opinions are visiting this weekend.

Trending via Threads:

At this point, Tom Cruise is a stuntman who does his own acting.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Accessories can really boost a woman’s self-confidence. For example, I know I would feel 10x sexier if I carried a sword with me at all times.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I don’t know much, but I know this: the older you get, the faster the number of things you’re willing to wait in line for approaches zero.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Irregardless, for all intensive purposes, I could care less.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Getting a boner because the Lego instructions are telling me what to do.

Live now on Reddit:

Just blocked all the ugly people, so if you see this… what’s up, big sexy?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Raisins also have wrinkles and are still sweet.

Making waves on Threads:

Just when you’ve built some confidence that you’re a smarter than average human, universe sends you captcha.

Shared recently on Discord:

You can make a salad without lettuce if you want, there are no rules.

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