Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

It’s so hot, ice bears are opening lemonade stands.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Listen up. If he hooks his sunglasses in the front collar of his shirt, he’s got something important to say.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

My age is news to me every single time I remember.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

When something Asian becomes popular enough, it becomes Mexican.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Time to get off the internet, I’ve already had enough stupid for the week.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

When I eat rotisserie chicken, I like to pretend that I’m performing an autopsy.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

I can’t take people who pronounce “gnocchi” correctly seriously.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

I bet oiling and wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil feels so good for the potato.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

520 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,113

Funny Quotes Topics

17,264

Funny Quotes Images

15,113

Dec 25, 2025

3,838

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

My handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Just shared via YouTube:

Accidentally falling asleep is always the best sleep — and that’s so irritating.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I’m the one with the money.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

When I was little, I didn’t care what I wore. I just went along with what my parents chose. When I look in old photo albums, l realize that they didn’t care either.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Welcome to your 50s: You’re not attracted to anyone who likes you.

Going viral on Messenger:

Oh, to be a rich, beautiful woman in her big car, driving to buy overpriced groceries to stock up her breathtaking kitchen in her gorgeous house.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Dating for love isn’t working. Now I’m dating to conduct psychological experiments and collect data.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Don’t worry, darling, you won’t break me. Someone already beat you to it.

Live now on Snapchat:

Why do moths eat sweaters? Have they tried sandwiches or avocados?

In honor of the fall equinox, I will also be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

2 months ago

0

In honor of the fall equinox, I will also be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the fall equinox: the perfect excuse to blame the changing season for our moody behavior! 🍂❄️ Embracing our inner darkness while blaming it on the stars? Brilliant move, my friend, embrace the chill vibes and mysterious aura! 😂"

autumn, change, cold, darkness, distant, equinox, fall, fall equinox, filled, honor, humor, i, seasonal, seasonal change, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you’re feeling lonely, start a small business. Then you’ll have a little company.

0

2 months ago

business, company, entrepreneurship, feeling, humor, little, loneliness, lonely, motivation, small, small business, start
I think that police officers on foot should wear blue flashing sneakers.

0

2 months ago

blue, fashion, flashing, foot, footwear, funny idea, humor, i, idea, police, safety, should, sneakers, think, wear
Accepting you’re about to throw up, gotta be the worst feeling on God’s green earth.

0

5 months ago

bodily, bodily function, discomfort, Earth, feeling, function, gods, green, nausea, sickness, throw, throw up, worst, worst feeling
It sucks when a woman realizes that her knight in shining armor was actually just a moron wrapped in tinfoil.

0

2 months ago

armor, disappointment, expectation, humor, just, knight, moron, relationship, shining, sucks, tinfoil, woman
I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

0

1 month ago

adore, change, disappointment, disillusionment, hate, i, just, listening, music, musical, musical taste, personal, personal preference, preference, rapper, shift, taste, used
Let’s play a game called you bring me food and I eat it.

0

2 months ago

activity, bring, eat, food, fun, game, humor, i, me, play

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Discord this month:

It always takes me an hour to get ready. 45 minutes for doing nothing and 15 hectic minutes for the rest.

61 shares on X this month:

Nosferatu implies the existence of a Yesferatu.

52 shares on Twitch this month:

I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

28 shares on Twitch this month:

Meetings are great because who doesn’t like being held hostage?

32 shares on Threads this month:

The world started without permission again.

83 shares on Instagram this month:

I do block people right away; you’re not going to stress me out on my own phone, with my own internet, and in my own house.

66 shares on Messenger this month:

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

97 shares on Twitch this month:

I ordered one of those Tempura mattresses. Way too crunchy.

38 shares on Pinterest this month:

“I’m gonna decide everyone’s pronouns and sexuality tonight. And, yes, there will be some big surprises.”

33 shares on Telegram this month:

Does anyone know if it’s possible to buy the transcripts of audiobooks? Thanks!

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I give such good nudes that nobody ever needs to ask me for a second one.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I need to find hobbies that don’t include my debit card.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s this time again when you have to choose between coffee and mulled wine in the morning.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh no, we don’t go in there. That room belongs to the spiders.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

What’s wrong with the people who come to visit on Sundays? Don’t they have a couch?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

When people don’t drink coffee, it’s like, okay, but how do you solve the problem of being awake?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

One thing I have noticed about getting older is having to stop for a short nap halfway through scrolling down to my year of birth when completing online forms.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My day starts backwards, I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

520 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,113

Funny Quotes Topics

17,264

Funny Quotes Images

15,113

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,998

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

The rainforest cafe won’t be authentic enough for me if they don’t bulldoze 40% of the restaurant while I’m there.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

I wasn’t feeling well so I googled my symptoms. I either have allergies or I died two days ago.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

All strapless bras need to be taken off the shelves. A total recall. We do not have the technology yet.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Pirate: walks the plank. Someone’s dad: Is this teak?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? Do you just call them and say you can’t come?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Stop checking your phone every minute. No one loves you.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Just stay single, y’all… I’m here apologizing for taking a nap.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Can everyone please turn their A/C off during the day, we need that power to generate images of people with eight fingers.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Trust me; this is the second millennium I’ve lived in.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

The first person to realize you can eat bone marrow must have really hated that cow.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Sorry, my face wasn’t created to hide that much distain for what you’re saying.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

This is the dumbest apocalypse ever.

Just landed via Reddit:

Me driving at night: I hope this is the road!

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I’m just saying, no dog has ever ghosted me.

Making waves on Reddit:

The reward for doing really good work is more work.

Making waves on Reddit:

If you like Christmas so much, why don’t you merry it?

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.

Just shared via Messenger:

Being rich is going to look so cute on me.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Sorry I was late, I was frantically applying to other jobs.

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