Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Why is everyone’s main goal to get married and have kids? Like, don’t you guys want to do drugs in foreign countries?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

British people be like “I was born in E-sex, grew up in Woke Ham, moved to Man Chest Hair, went to uni in Rotten Stall.”

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

I don’t want to adult anymore. Don’t even want to be human. I want to be a goat. Jump around randomly, eat what I want, and head-butt anyone who annoys me.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Anyone else’s phone make a retching noise when you unlock it with Face ID?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

I think you are suffering from a lack of vitamin ME.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

This summer went by so fast, I didn’t even get a chance to lose any weight.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Occupation: the ugly friend!

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Waking up early is always beneficial. You just gotta make it past those first 10 minutes of being irritated.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

When you’re a snowman, everything smells like a carrot.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

January feels like a schizophrenic episode.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,489

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast, it had to be done by Elvis.

Breaking via YouTube:

Giving out false information so I know who the leak is.

Just landed via TikTok:

Calling me ugly isn’t even an insult, because I know already.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

If I were a bird, you’d be the first person I’d shit on.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Girl math is avoiding shipping costs by buying more.

Going viral on Instagram:

Fun fact: The confetti you’ll see in Times Square tonight was made from one CVS receipt.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

May life treat you exactly the same way you treat servers, store clerks, senior citizens, children, and animals.

Trending via Slack:

Maybe the problem is that I’m cooler than any man I’ve ever met.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Been acting really busy today because I can tell my coworker wants to talk about something in his personal life.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I tried to scream into the abyss today but got a busy signal.

In honor of the fall equinox, I will also be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

1 month ago

Witty quote about embracing darkness and coldness during fall equinox, humorous and playful.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the fall equinox: the perfect excuse to blame the changing season for our moody behavior! 🍂❄️ Embracing our inner darkness while blaming it on the stars? Brilliant move, my friend, embrace the chill vibes and mysterious aura! 😂"

autumn, change, cold, darkness, distant, equinox, fall, fall equinox, filled, honor, humor, i, seasonal, seasonal change, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on Reddit this month:

The word “misread” can be misread as “misread.”

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

May the Force be with you… especially in Monday meetings.

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’ve noticed that when young people now talk about “old people”, they mean me.

43 shares on Facebook this month:

I only attract psychopaths. If you’ve ever had a crush on me, find a therapist.

65 shares on WeChat this month:

There’s no reason my stomach should be growling, I just gave it some iced coffee.

29 shares on Messenger this month:

Since the beginning of time itself, people have been wondering, what the hell is going on?

12 shares on Slack this month:

“You’re so chill.” Thanks, I gave up.

48 shares on Telegram this month:

I’ve woken up yet again without an emotional support capybara.

71 shares on Reddit this month:

I haven’t cleaned my shower in so long, it’s becoming a terrarium. Absolutely gorgeous.

15 shares on Threads this month:

Welcome to your late 40s! From now on you will no longer be in “good health” but in “good health for your age”.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

People out here living double lives, and I’m barely even holding a single life together.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing ruins your weekend faster than remembering Monday is lurking in the shadows.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine how organized the first person to write down a recipe must have been.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I am both dumber and smarter than you think. Do not estimate me.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

When two people argue online I believe whoever spells correctly.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Just a little reminder to laugh as much as you can, stay hydrated, and don’t let shitty people kill your vibe.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody knows my next move. Not even me.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever watched the teams you hate be first-round exits?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Make your salad taste better by putting it between bread, meat, cheese, and Big Mac sauce.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If my neighbors would just talk a little louder I could follow along with their conversation, but no. Rude.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,468

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

I haven’t even gone to bed yet and I already can’t wait to get home from work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Is the elephant in the room with us right now?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

I wonder if BBQ thinks about me too.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

My morning routine consists of talking myself out of quitting my job.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

I would be very interested to hear from someone who is ILLEGALLY blind.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

I wonder how many people think, “What the hell?” after talking to me.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

After my funeral, I want one of my friends to take my phone and text everyone, “Thanks for coming.”

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Having a loose stool means two completely different things depending on if you are a nurse or a bartender.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Any room can be a rage room if you just give me a minute.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

You’ll pay good money to hear a comedian say something offensive, but when I say it for free, I’m the bad guy.

Going bananas on X:

Why do we say ‘slept like a baby’? Babies wake up every two hours crying. I want to sleep like my cat—14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Seen just now on Slack:

Why is adulthood just bills and wondering what to eat?

Shared recently on Reddit:

I don’t have a favourite person, but I do have a favourite cheese.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

Trending via Slack:

“Have you asked Chat GPT?” Have you lost your mind?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

One thing that could really “level-up” the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I get real disrespectful with serving sizes. A bag is not gonna tell me what to do.

Going viral on Reddit:

This is the fastest December in the history of all December.

Just landed via WeChat:

There should be a three-day weekend: one day to do nothing, one day to do something, and one day to do laundry.

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