In honor of the fall equinox, I will also be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

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I hate having a messy house. Not enough to actually clean it, but enough to give it a disgusted stare while I peacefully relax on the couch.

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Once you’ve read the dictionary, every other book you read is just a remix.

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Don’t understand why electricians aren’t called power rangers, but okay.

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This weekend was so busy, I hardly had time to sit around in my pajamas and doom scroll.

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At no single point in the Bible does it tell you not to sell drugs.

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Going to a DaBaby concert because I need some alone time, and I know no one else will be there.

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If you get hangovers, it’s because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt.

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My parents told me I could be anything I wanted so I became unacceptable.

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I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

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They should invent a rest for the wicked.