Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I hate when my kids ask me impossible questions like: What day is it?
  • This entire month could’ve been an email.
  • You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.
  • I talk a lot of shit for someone who is startled by my own toast popping up while I’m watching it. Every. Single. Time.
  • Being excited to get in bed is a different level of adulting.
  • How do you politely tell someone that they ruined your life?