Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Taking a nap and waking up with a headache is like hitting the reset button on your brain, only to find out it's still running the same glitchy software! 💤🤕 #NapFail"

again, back, frustration, headache, here, i, illegal, nap, should, shut, shut off, sleep, still, take, wake, wake up

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Shut up brain, I wasn’t even talking to me.

0

2 months ago

brain, conversation, even, humor, i, me, mind, self-talk, shut, talking
A sperm bank implies the existence of sperm markets, which further implies the existence of high-frequency sperm trading.

0

2 months ago

bank, biology, biology humor, existence, finance, finance humor, high-frequency, high-frequency trading, humor, joke, market, sperm, sperm bank, sperm market, trading, wordplay
I don’t think human beings were built to know everything going on in the world all the time.

0

2 months ago

awareness, being, built, everything, going, human, human being, humor, i, information, information overload, know, limits, overload, think, time, world
I just want peace, not a notification every time someone breathes.

0

2 months ago

breath, detox, digital, digital detox, every, health, i, just, media, mental, mental health, mind, notification, notification overload, overload, peace, peace of mind, privacy, social, social media, someone, time, want
The only reason to engage with a neighbor is if either of you is on fire.

0

2 months ago

engagement, fire, humor, interaction, neighbor, only, reason
There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

0

2 months ago

app, diary, form, here, humor, humor quote, people, sarcasm, say, seeking, self-awareness, validation

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Instagram this month:

You don’t realize how incorrect and annoying YouTube video essays are until they’re about something you like.

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

99% of celebrating your birthday as an adult just consists of texting back “thanks so much”.

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My only chance at a big house in the country is if I become a rescue dog.

22 shares on X this month:

So sad. Elvis died before he could see the Lego movie. He woulda been like, ‘Mama, those blocks are movin’ and shakin.’

11 shares on Instagram this month:

If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.

26 shares on X this month:

Snaccident: eating a whole bag of Doritos in one sitting.

79 shares on WeChat this month:

Going out for two days in a row should really be considered an extreme sport.

87 shares on Discord this month:

Bursting into a million bats the second I see you.

48 shares on Pinterest this month:

I like to swear a lot so that people will keep their kids away from me.

39 shares on Threads this month:

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Work beers should be a daily thing.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

You can just comment, “You two look nice,” on a photo of three people. It’s free and legal.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Dinosaurs are always described as “roaming” the earth, which is patronizing as hell, I bet they had places to go and important shit to do.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Ironically, the Internet was invented to save time.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m uncomfortable around tall people. What if they pick me up and put me on their shoulders?

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

I touched grass today, and I’m still like this. Please advise.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

People will scroll on their phones for 6 hours a day and wonder how other people can watch a movie every day.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

“Grey” is a better spelling than “gray” because “e” is a greyer letter than “a.” I will not elaborate.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

There should be a special rating system for movies that tells you how uncomfortable you’ll be if you watch them with your parents.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I have the patience of a nearly ripe avocado.

Trending via Facebook:

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

Spotted on WeChat:

I want to live in a world where the plural of moose is mooses.

Freshly posted on Threads:

If I ever had to fight a bear, I hope it’s a gummy bear.

Spotted on Reddit:

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

My milkshakes bring all the bots to the yard.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I actually think my version of the lyrics makes more sense.

Trending via YouTube:

The problem is I am always the problem.

Trending via Slack:

Ever since I was a kid, I always knew I wanted to live in a galaxy far, far away.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Shut up brain, I wasn’t even talking to me.

A sperm bank implies the existence of sperm markets, which further implies the existence of high-frequency sperm trading.

I don’t think human beings were built to know everything going on in the world all the time.

I just want peace, not a notification every time someone breathes.

The only reason to engage with a neighbor is if either of you is on fire.

There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨