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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

I’ll never tell anyone your secret because that would mean talking to people.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

One pretty important part of being a dad is walking faster than the rest of your family through an airport.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

You can tell a lot about a person by breaking into their home and going through their belongings.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “yeah, but not to you”.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Farting, but with eye contact.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Roses are red. Pizza sauce is too. I ordered a large. And none of it’s for you.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

If you give me a serious answer to a silly question, I’m giving you a wedgie.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

If Dracula had a cat, she’d be the one sleeping in the coffin.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

When I was a kid, we still ate noodles. Then at some point we ate pasta. Today, we only eat carbs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2447 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,609

Funny Quotes Topics

15,283

Funny Quotes Images

12,609

32 minutes ago

3,462

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on LinkedIn:

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Do crabs underwater think that fishes fly?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

What is Washington’s plan to make everything bagels less messy to eat?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Shampoo companies need to be clearer when they say “repairs damage”. I cancelled my therapy for nothing.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?

Freshly posted on X:

After being raised on Disney movies, I’m very disappointed how few adult problems can be solved by a good song and dance.

Just shared via Threads:

Don’t forget to make everything about you today.

Making waves on Pinterest:

It’s like no one in my family appreciates that I stayed up all night overthinking for them.

Trending via Facebook:

Clearly I’m not doing Dry January unless you mean sense of humor.

Making waves on Twitch:

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.

It’s so much easier to suggest solutions when you don’t know too much about the problem.

5 months ago

It’s so much easier to suggest solutions when you don’t know too much about the problem.

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Commentary:
Ah, the blissful ignorance that makes problem-solving seem like a walk in the park! It's like saying, "I can fix anything as long as I don't actually understand what's broken." Who needs facts and details when you have a can-do attitude and a healthy dose of cluelessness? Just wing it and hope for the best – what could possibly go wrong?

ease, humor, ignorance, irony, problem, simplicity, solution, suggestion

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2447 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,609

Funny Quotes Topics

15,283

Funny Quotes Images

12,609

32 minutes ago

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Don’t let me drive if you’re gonna scream every time we almost die.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Nothing hits harder than opening the fridge for the fifth time, hoping new food magically appeared.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Saying “shut up” before skipping the YouTube ad is literally necessary.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

My son loves Monty Python. My work here is done.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

When I write “I hope this email finds you well” I’m referring to the email’s skills in tracking you down.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Spotify wrapped is like my annual mental health report and it’s getting worse by each passing year.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Way too many low IQ conspiracy theories floating around. Give me high IQ conspiracy theories.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Breaking News: Jenny on Facebook is having salad for dinner tonight.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

This year is starting to feel like it needs to be left outside until we see if it can act right.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

My passport probably thinks I’m in prison.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

You either have a full ketchup bottle in your house or an almost empty one. There’s no in-between.

Just shared via Reddit:

Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.

Reported on Slack:

Having a good heart has done nothing but made me look stupid.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I hate having a messy house. Not enough to actually clean it, but enough to give it a disgusted stare while I peacefully relax on the couch.

Just landed via Twitch:

When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor got slapped.

Shared recently on X:

My issue with Jeopardy is that you never get the sense that the contestants are in any real danger.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I don’t know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Don’t buy me flowers. A bouquet of KitKats will suffice.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Maybe your soulmate’s just late, like, wildly behind schedule.

Live now on Facebook:

Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.

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