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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

God, please — if you don’t want someone to love me, at least make me a millionaire.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Scientists say humans are the most evolved, but bears get to get fat all summer and then sleep for four months, so who’s really ahead.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Few things in life are as disappointing as having to poop right after a shower.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

There is no reason to be a people pleaser. People are never pleased.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Stop checking your phone every minute. No one loves you.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Are you really a personal trainer or do you just want to wear shorts to work every day?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m perfectly approachable as long as you’re carrying a plate of nachos.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

We need a holiday at the end of every summer that honours all the women who wore sundresses.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Adulthood is just always being tired and wondering how you hurt your back.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Jan 7, 2026

3,267

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via TikTok:

Normalize saying “better you than me” to people who keep complaining about everything.

Live now on Messenger:

The way people who are really into each other look moments before kissing is so hot. It’s like seeing a glimpse of cannibalism.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

You come from dust and you’ll return to dust, so that’s why I never dust. It could be someone I know.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Just knowing that I have to get out of bed tomorrow is already annoying and it’s not even dark yet.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

They should go crazier with lab-grown meat. Invent some new animals or something. Mammoth burger.

Trending via X:

Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Should be able to shazam the inner yearnings of my heart.

Just landed via Facebook:

You can talk about any topic for 30 mins if you’re a confident liar.

Live now on WeChat:

The lion does not concern himself with attaching a cover letter.

Making waves on WeChat:

Every marriage has a personality hire, and then someone who knows how insurance works.

I’ve been dieting for a little over a week and I already gained three pounds.

2 months ago

0

I’ve been dieting for a little over a week and I already gained three pounds.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the ultimate mystery of diets – where salads make you gain weight and cookies disappear miraculously 😂🍪 It's like the scale is playing a sneaky game of hide and seek with your progress! Keep going, you're one week closer to solving the grand puzzle of dieting 😉💪

diet, fitness, gaining, humor, i, irony, struggle, week, weight

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Seriously? I came out of hibernation for this?

0

2 months ago

came, disappointment, expectation, hibernation, humor, i, seriously, surprise, winter
I’m bringing back “hold your horses” and nobody can stop me.

0

2 months ago

back, bring, bring back, hold, hold your horse, horse, humor, me, nobody, nostalgia, stop
I assume people who bookmark my posts are building a case against me.

0

2 months ago

assume, bookmark, building, case, humor, humorist, i, me, media, people, posts, social, social media, suspicion
Rewatching Avengers: Age of Ultron. Despite the title, they never tell you how old Ultron is.

0

5 days ago

age, Age of Ultron, Avengers, film, humor, joke, movie, never, old, rewatching, superhero, tell, title, Ultron
If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

0

2 months ago

activity, alone, companionship, dim, dim lights, entertainment, fear, fun, fun activity, horror, horror movie, lights, lonely, movie, put
Any room can be a bathroom if you hate the person who’s house you’re in.

0

2 months ago

bathroom, hate, house, humor, person, room

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on X this month:

I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.

80 shares on WeChat this month:

When I was young, I was afraid of the dark. Now, these bills got me afraid of the light.

34 shares on X this month:

Whoever came up with the name wallpaper really nailed it.

45 shares on YouTube this month:

Mama didn’t raise no fool, I turned into one all on my own.

97 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t understand how people use plastic wrap successfully.

67 shares on Reddit this month:

Can hardly wait until my winter fat turns into spring rolls.

84 shares on Instagram this month:

I need you to put the fun in refund!

52 shares on Snapchat this month:

No one knows what I’m up to, not even me.

86 shares on Threads this month:

Adulthood is basically just trying to fall asleep at night and stay awake during the day.

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

At my next therapy session, I will be discussing the trauma I’ve been dealing with ever since the grocery store layout was altered.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t need to explain yourself if you carry a chainsaw.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Only in America can a kid wear $150 shoes, sip a $8 coffee, and post from a $1,200 phone about being oppressed and claiming capitalism has failed them.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Mister Sandman, bring me a meme. Make it the dumbest shit that I’ve ever seen.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Billionaires didn’t get rich by working harder. They got rich by making sure you work harder, get paid less, and spend more.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s easy to keep me happy: feed me sunshine in summer — and keep me warm in winter.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

They give smokers all those breaks to make up for the time taken off their lifespan.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Marriage is 33.3% hiding to eat snacks because you and your spouse are supposed to be on a diet.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

It ain’t easy being America’s sweetheart during these dark times, but someone gotta do it!

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite part of socializing is when it’s over.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,591

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

My ego is bruised so I’m going to ice it with some cold beer.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Olympic gymnast: does the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Announcer: Oh dear, that will be a point deduction.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Your nose is in the middle of your face because it is the scenter.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

I need a day off from myself.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

I hope I find $10,000 on the floor later.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

I feel like we’re on like the 50th or 60th horseman of the apocalypse by now.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Grocery stores should have baskets in the middle of the store for those “I really overestimated how much I can carry” moments.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

I’m not really a “glass half full” kind of person. I’m more of a “Where’d I put my glass?” kind of person.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

You have been a very bad boy. Now go to my room!

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

People should be able to call in healthy: “Look, I’m not coming into the office today. I feel really good and I don’t want to waste it on being at work.“

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

I always say “it’s so expensive” and then buy it nonetheless.

Going viral on TikTok:

Clueless but committed – that’s my vibe.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Men make money to be with a woman, but women make money to not have to be with a man. Clock it!

Shared recently on Threads:

If the USA is so great, why did someone make the USB?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

You just can’t live a full life on an empty stomach.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Hold music is annoyingly scratchy and repetitive on purpose, so you will hang up and stop bothering them.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

When someone touches my phone, I automatically turn into a ninja.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Sorry I lied when I said “I can’t complain.”

Live now on Messenger:

Getting road rage alone in my house.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Ah yes, my abandonment issues due to all the abandonment.

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