I’ve had 50 birthdays in a row without being arrested, which I’d say is an impressive streak!

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

You ever notice how when you get home from food shopping, the kids turn into airport security?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

When you say “You’re going to hate me for this,” you’re making a very large assumption that I don’t hate you already.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Pirate: walks the plank. Someone’s dad: Is this teak?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

I can handle most things in life, but hearing people chew isn’t one of them.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Not going is the new leaving early.

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Does your blood pump that way just for me?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I also want them to get lice.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Someone asked me what my hobby was and I realized that my favorite hobby is doing absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

I’m sorry I didn’t text you back. I’m really busy watching the The Lord of The Rings in the form of mini clips on TikTok.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Sorry I’m late, there was bubble wrap.