Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old question: were we meticulously planned masterpieces, or just happy accidents? 🤔 Perhaps a little bit of both! Embrace your unique journey 💫👶 #HappyAccident"

humor, irony, just, life, mean, mistake, parents, planned

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If your wife uses “I” it means she will be doing something. “We” means you will be.

0

2 months ago

communication, doing, humor, i, marriage, relationship, wife
I have money, then I don’t have money, it all happens so fast!

0

2 months ago

fast, financial, humor, i, life, money, spending
Every day is a D-Day, if you’re a stutterer.

0

2 months ago

challenge, daily, daily challenge, day, difficulty, every, humor, speech, speech difficulty, stutterer
I’m a total go with the flow kinda person as long as the flow is meticulously scheduled well in advance and there are no mid-flow changes whatsoever.

0

2 months ago

advance, change, changes, control, flexibility, flow, go with the flow, humor, organization, person, personality, planning, schedule, well
Instead of writing letters, let’s wait a week before texting each other back so it still feels like it.

0

2 months ago

back, communication, humor, letters, patience, relationship, still, texting, timing, wait, week, writing
My Christmas letter this year includes a bonus DVD of my colonoscopy.

0

2 months ago

bonus, Christmas, colonoscopy, DVD, gift, humor, letter, medical, personal, year

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Telegram this month:

Sometimes I feel useless but then I remember I breath out carbon dioxide for plants.

13 shares on Facebook this month:

I tried to embrace my flaws. They filed a restraining order.

52 shares on Facebook this month:

If this meeting were any slower, it’d be a landscape painting.

68 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m having an orange, and the dogs keep looking at me like, “stop eating that ball, dude.”

66 shares on Telegram this month:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re exercising.

57 shares on Slack this month:

The final stage of being single is when you listen to a love song and no one comes to mind; at that point, you’ve achieved absolute singularity.

55 shares on Messenger this month:

I wonder if this next thunderstorm is thinking of me, too.

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If I worked for UPS, there would be a 100% chance I’m falling out that open door when I turn a corner too fast.

27 shares on Instagram this month:

The thing I can’t get over about Love Island is they’re only allowed 2 drinks a night, like they’re all just acting like that.

87 shares on WeChat this month:

Beginning to understand why deer throw themselves in front of cars.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Watched a movie on Netflix last night that was so bad, I walked out of my own house.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

I appreciate the interest, but I’m officially removing myself from the running to be the next James Bond. Thank you for your understanding.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Even though he murders a lot of people, you can tell Freddie Kruger is a fun loving guy cause he goes by Freddie and not Fred or Frederick.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was performed by the child sitting behind me on a flight from LA to Tokyo.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Looks like it’s just you and me tonight, family size Toblerone.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

That uncontrollable urge to hurt myself and others when a film’s subtitles are slightly out of sync.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Shazam, but for whatever the hell goes on in the apartment upstairs.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

I laugh at my own jokes because I am my target audience. Y’all just happen to be there.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Sorry, I can’t hang out. I don’t know enough words.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Ugh, those red and blue flashing lights are interfering with my driving and scrolling.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

Breaking via Twitch:

I hope the next time you’re stressed, it’s because you’re choosing between Japan, Bali, Switzerland, or the Maldives.

Shared recently on TikTok:

If you drink enough, any bar can be a karaoke bar.

Seen just now on Discord:

How long do you actually have to wear a muscle shirt until you get muscles?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I don’t hide from my problems, I just ignore them until they lose interest.

Just landed via X:

These cannot be the same knees that used to get low in heels at the club.

Trending via Instagram:

“Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

Seen just now on Discord:

“I’ve had cigarettes that were better than entire years of my life.”

Shared recently on TikTok:

Gordon Ramsay is making us dinner. It’s a four curse meal.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Just because your parents planned you doesn’t mean you weren’t a mistake.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If your wife uses “I” it means she will be doing something. “We” means you will be.

I have money, then I don’t have money, it all happens so fast!

Every day is a D-Day, if you’re a stutterer.

I’m a total go with the flow kinda person as long as the flow is meticulously scheduled well in advance and there are no mid-flow changes whatsoever.

Instead of writing letters, let’s wait a week before texting each other back so it still feels like it.

My Christmas letter this year includes a bonus DVD of my colonoscopy.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨