Just because your parents planned you doesn’t mean you weren’t a mistake.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Liquor on the top shelf is so expensive because the bartender has to stand on their tippy toes to reach it.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate what’s really important in life, so I’m back online.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Winnie the Pooh had the right idea in this goddam heat. Crop top with his honey pot facing the world.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

How silly of me to forget that I am the love of my life.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

I took the road less traveled because I was hoping not to run into anyone I know along the way.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

How can I be ready for the future when I’m not even ready to get up in the morning?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.