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Commentary:
Oh, the power of a well-timed apology! Ladies, let's practice this mantra: "I was wrong and I am sorry!" 🙈💁‍♀️ Humility looks good on everyone, after all!

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You’ve never burned music to a CD, and it shows.

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5 months ago

burning, cd, humor, media, music, never, nostalgia, outdated, outdated technology, shows, technology
I’m at the age where I’m more likely to fall asleep at the movie theater than get frisky in one.

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4 weeks ago

age, asleep, fall, fall asleep, frisky, humor, movie, movie theater, relationship, theater, where
“Hope this email finds you doing well!” The email found me, therefore I am unwell.

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2 months ago

am, communication, doing, email, finds, found, hope, humor, i, irony, me, sarcasm, unwell, well, workplace
I could be a masseuse, or I could just be pulling your leg.

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2 months ago

humor, i, joke, just, leg, masseuse, playfulness, puns, sarcasm
“Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight!” Okay, then explain bayonets to me.

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2 months ago

bayonet, bring, explain, fight, gun, humor, irony, knife, logic, me, okay, weapons
I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.

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2 months ago

am, burnout, fatigue, humor, i, quiet, quiet quitting, quitting, stress, suffering, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Check yourself before you Shrek yourself.

49 shares on Discord this month:

The evening news: Where they begin with “Good evening” and then proceed to tell you why it’s not.

10 shares on Twitch this month:

If anything goes wrong today, just dramatically whisper, “The prophecy has been fulfilled,” and walk away.

58 shares on Facebook this month:

The real flex is becoming the woman he cannot run back to.

45 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A hot coffee and a crispy bagel doesn’t change anything but it can’t hurt.

97 shares on YouTube this month:

Today I choose kindness, but we’ll see, it’s still early.

40 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

80 shares on Threads this month:

Stop rushing in the morning. You’re starting your day in panic mode.

63 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My keys fell in the snow, and now they’re gone forever — time to start a new life under a new name in a warmer climate.

24 shares on Threads this month:

I’m not procrastinating. I’m protecting my peace through active avoidance.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Don’t wait until you’re on your death bed to let them know how you feel. You may be too weak to raise your middle finger.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

I’m not sure how long my body can handle this “getting out of bed early in the morning” nonsense.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Studies show that 100% of all parents think alcohol tastes much better after spending the day with children.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Nicknamed my iPhone Lois Lane because it doesn’t recognize me without my glasses on either.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

You ever wake up from your dreams impressed? Like, damn, that narrative structure was phenomenal.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Establish dominance by showing up with all your childhood trophies.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Isn’t it beautiful how ‘Bruh’ has stood the test of time all these years.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

My favorite recipe is the one where I pick up the phone and order food.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Apparently, the job interviewer doesn’t like it when your biggest weakness is beautiful Latinas.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

I need an emergency cheeseburger.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

When a woman texts you three questions, you should only answer one. She will love that.

Making waves on Reddit:

I want whatever the people who run at 6 a.m. have.

Going viral on X:

When I like a woman, I start to gather gifts for her like a squirrel hoarding nuts.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Marriage tip: If your wife goes silent in the middle of an argument, you probably shouldn’t ask if you can go back to mowing the lawn.

Just shared via Instagram:

Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

Making waves on Threads:

If you saw me licking the plate after the charcuterie was finished, no you didn’t.

Just shared via Facebook:

My cat smells like cigarettes again and I’m sick of his excuses.

Making waves on Telegram:

Why make new mistakes when you can keep repeating the same old familiar ones.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

A woman’s sigh can speak a 1000 words.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Uber sends notifications like “Hey, want to take an Uber right now?” No thanks, buddy. It’s more for when I need to go somewhere.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Ladies, repeat after me: “I was wrong and I am sorry!”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

You’ve never burned music to a CD, and it shows.

I’m at the age where I’m more likely to fall asleep at the movie theater than get frisky in one.

“Hope this email finds you doing well!” The email found me, therefore I am unwell.

I could be a masseuse, or I could just be pulling your leg.

“Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight!” Okay, then explain bayonets to me.

I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨