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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Silence is golden. But duct tape is silver.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Thanks for your email! Unfortunately, I have filled my pockets with stones and am making my way to the sea.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

When a girl is done with you, she talks to you like she’s in HR or something.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

“Well at least I don’t have to wake up any more.” Is what I want my tombstone to say.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

I give such good nudes that nobody ever needs to ask me for a second one.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

The only career advice I have is make every decision that moves you closer to not having to be on LinkedIn.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

I only go on LinkedIn to see what my coworkers looked like 15 years ago.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Bruce Lee had a faster older brother named Sudden Lee.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s, you now don’t understand a single word anyone under 25 is saying.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2316 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,478

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,478

25 minutes ago

3,452

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Messenger:

The only thing stopping cheesecake from being a breakfast food is you.

Trending via Slack:

If you’re feeling lonely, start a small business. Then you’ll have a little company.

Breaking via Slack:

Next on Tiny Houses: A family of 6 moves into a boat emoji.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Another fine day ruined by responsibilities.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Putting together a piece of furniture today, so my kids are about to learn swear words that haven’t even been invented yet.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’m bringing back “holy moly” and nobody can stop me.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Saturday nights are for watching zombie shows and dreaming about the apocalypse.

Seen just now on Discord:

I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

Spotted on Slack:

Stop checking your phone every minute. No one loves you.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Sorry I’m late, my dog was sleeping in the shape of a donut and I had to take so many photos.

Laptops become possessed with slowness when they see that you are in a hurry.

4 months ago

Laptops become possessed with slowness when they see that you are in a hurry.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the mischievous ways of technology! It's like laptops have a secret pact to slow down just when you need them the most. Maybe they're plotting to teach us all a lesson in patience. Or maybe they just enjoy seeing us frantically hitting the refresh button. Either way, it's a hauntingly slow dance with our devices."

frustration, humor, hurry, laptop, slowness, technology

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2316 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,478

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,478

25 minutes ago

3,435

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

“I can’t possibly lose this if I put it here” I say to myself before completely forgetting where here is.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m in preschool or school… Oh wait, I’m at work.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Just had a salad but it didn’t make me laugh like women in stock photos.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

My favorite delusion is that I just need to get through this week.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

I am dressing for the job I want. I want to be a sweatpants model.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

“Is everything okay?” Bro, nothing has been since I turned 12.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

“Get a life!” Have you seen some of the lives out there?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

You should introduce your upper lip to your bottom lip sometime and shut up.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

I am woman, hear me roar but also meow because I am sensitive.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on WhatsApp:

Armed robbers are so weird. Why are you beating me when I don’t have money?

Spotted on X:

Thinking about quitting my job to focus on my girlfriend.

Spotted on Slack:

Raising a teenager is like nailing pudding to the wall.

Freshly posted on X:

“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

Trending via Pinterest:

I took a pole and found that 100% of people in the tent were angry.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

If someone asks why you’re so pale, simply reply, completely shocked, “You can see me?”

Spotted on YouTube:

Being called by your real name in a relationship kinda sounds like a divorce.

Reported on WeChat:

I’ll let you guys know if the psych ward has wifi.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If caterpillars are able to sleep for a long time and come out prettier, why cant I?

Making waves on TikTok:

I wonder if this next thunderstorm is thinking of me, too.

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