Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it.
  • Spices were first brought to Western Europe in the Middle Ages. Some of them are still at the back of my cupboard.
  • The planet is fine. The people are fucked.
  • Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.
  • You know the nap is good when it left you marks.
  • A person’s character can be read quite reliably from the way he or she interacts with service personnel.