Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Don’t be sad, laundry, nobody’s doing me either.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

To be fair, a dumpster is like one of the safest places to have a fire.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

A pie where there isn’t pastry on the bottom isn’t a pie. It’s soup with a hat.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

RIP to everyone killed by the Gods for their hubris, but I’m different. And better. Maybe even better than the Gods.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

“I didn’t vote for this.” — people who absolutely voted for this but thought this would only hurt people they hate.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Don’t let anyone treat you like pond water. You are Fiji water, okay?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

I mean, sex is all right, but have you ever experienced the sheer sensuality of having rock-solid proof that a problem at work was someone else’s fault, even though it really, really looked like it was yours?

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Don’t listen to them, little password. You are strong.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Humans should grow a new set of teeth in our 30s to make-up for all the poor decisions in our 20s.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Another beautiful day without using sin, tan and cos.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,980

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Discord:

Insomnia is embarrassing. How can I be so bad at something that literally involves doing nothing?

Seen just now on YouTube:

Unemployed folks always have esoteric knowledge, for some reason.

Just shared via TikTok:

Most men will receive their first bunch of flowers at their funeral.

Shared recently on Threads:

I hate when people tell me I need to “get out of my comfort zone,” like I don’t even have a comfort zone; I am literally always uncomfortable.

Live now on Telegram:

I march to the beat of my own dumb.

Shared recently on X:

There should be guide dogs that prevent you from making bad decisions.

Spotted on Slack:

There should be an Olympics where athletes can take as many drugs as they want. Like, to hell with y’all, let’s see how high humans can really jump.

Trending via TikTok:

When my cat gets in trouble I call him by his full name, Catthew.

Making waves on Telegram:

I think there’s a size limit on engagement rings before they look tacky, to me.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Can someone please just give me a participation trophy for making it through today, please?

Life hack: put on an apron at home and people think you’re super busy doing important stuff even when you’re not.

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Life hack: put on an apron at home and people think you’re super busy doing important stuff even when you’re not.
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Commentary:
"Life hack: Put on an apron and suddenly transform into a culinary wizard or DIY guru in the eyes of your household 🧙‍♂️🍳 Who knew a simple piece of fabric could be your secret weapon in the battle against being asked to do chores? 😂 #ApronMagic"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on YouTube this month:

I was talking to someone and combined “all good” and “no worries” by saying “all worries”, which was a lot more accurate.

54 shares on WeChat this month:

The funniest thing about Batman is that he legitimately doesn’t give a shit about crime that happens during the day.

53 shares on Pinterest this month:

One thing I miss about the pandemic is getting to rip my mask off like I just botched a surgery.

53 shares on Facebook this month:

My OnlyFans is just me loading the dishwasher correctly.

96 shares on YouTube this month:

Even worse than a spider is a spider that just disappeared.

19 shares on TikTok this month:

Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’ve never been cut in half by a magician, but I have worn jeans on Thanksgiving. Same thing.

78 shares on Slack this month:

I know some people don’t like me, but what can I do, not everyone has good taste.

23 shares on Facebook this month:

I wish I lived in a sitcom, and my friends just barged into my apartment uninvited.

70 shares on YouTube this month:

Netflix had enough cash to buy Warner Bros., but cried poor when we shared passwords with our mom.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I didn’t get the part of the brain that lets you relax, just the one that overthinks.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My search history is filled with me googling regular words just to make sure I’m using them right.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

At my age, you check a friend’s Facebook page to make sure they’re still alive before wishing them a happy birthday.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The last time I said I wanted to try missionary, she sent me to a remote village in Africa.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

We seriously need to bring back courting. What the hell is ‘wyd tonight?’ Arrive on a horse and bring flowers like a man.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Went to the gym two days in a row. This is a fitness account now.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

What are some beginner bad habits for someone just getting into ruining their life?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine being all knowing and still putting a snake in charge of apples.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

4,022

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

A girl was coming over till she wasn’t—that’s what happened.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

I really want to be nice, but annoying people just won’t let me.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Accidentally said I was on a diet instead of in a calorie deficit, and now everyone knows I’m from the 1900s.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Shoutout to everyone who works hard to support their dog’s extravagant lifestyle.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Nudes are outdated. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Nothing prepared me for the part of adulthood where you look like a baby deer learning to walk every time you get out of bed in the morning.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

I don’t give people directions. What if no one wants them there?

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

I did 30 minutes of chores, time for a 7-hour break.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

I’ve done the math: If the month had 10 days, I would get by with my money.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

If the USA is so great, why did someone make the USB?

Going bananas on Threads:

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Witnessing karma is awesome . . . witnessing instant karma is more awesome.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

There’s not gonna be a civil war. None of us can afford to take that much time off work.

Breaking via WeChat:

Why is it called the Super Bowl if no one is bowling?

Trending via Reddit:

I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Hey, sorry I cant make it tonight. I am beset on all sides by foes.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Nobody seems more shocked, disappointed and dismayed than the person behind the post office counter when I arrive and say I’ve got something to post.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page.

Making waves on WeChat:

Cleaning your kid’s room will piss you off, cause why is my Airfryer in here?

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