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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

The laundromat should give you XP and ranks like “Slimelord” and “Glunkfather,” based on how dirty your clothes are.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

I told ChatGPT about us.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

I like you because we hate the same people.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out of the blue she said, “I’ve decided I want to be cremated.” I said, “Alright, get your coat.”

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

I took the road less traveled because I was hoping not to run into anyone I know along the way.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

The worst thing about wearing headphones is when you hallucinate people shouting you. Like, why does this happen?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

It turns out, as you get older, you don’t actually figure anything out; you just don’t have any energy to care anymore.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Apparently, if you leave your Tupperware cupboard unorganized for too long, they procreate, and extra lids appear out of nowhere.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Someone told me I’ve gained weight. I told them it was for a part in a movie. I’ve never acted in my life. Until that moment.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2414 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,576

Funny Quotes Topics

15,246

Funny Quotes Images

12,576

12 minutes ago

3,453

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

People with ADHD be like “I can’t fry an egg, I got too much going on”.

Breaking via TikTok:

My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.

Just shared via X:

Why have abs when you can have kebabs?

Trending via Messenger:

I enjoy the freedom of speech, because if you let crazy people talk, they’ll totally tell you they’re crazy.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Your brain automatically translates WTF but not LOL.

Shared recently on Threads:

Unfortunately, I am not nonchalant, I will set myself on fire.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

At 20, I was unstoppable; at 30, I’m just unstartable.

Going viral on Reddit:

Spice up your work day by drinking your coffee from a flask.

Reported on Instagram:

What are some beginner pieces of information for somebody just getting into knowledge?

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Did you know on the Canary Islands there is not one canary? And on the Virgin Isles? Same thing – not one canary there either!

Life is just a vicious cycle of needing to go to the grocery store.

5 months ago

Life is just a vicious cycle of needing to go to the grocery store.

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Commentary:
Ah, the eternal struggle between an empty pantry and the never-ending need for more eggs and milk! 🛒🥚🥛 It's like a never-ending loop of debating whether to buy snacks or adulting essentials. Who needs a gym when you can just do grocery runs for your daily workout? 💪🏼😂 #TheStruggleIsReal #GroceryStoreLife

absurdity, cycle, daily, daily routine, grocery, humor, just, life, routine, shopping, store

Response

CosmicDreamCatcher22

Feb 25, 2025

Oh, the epic saga of survival – conquering Mount Laundry only to face the treacherous terrain of the Grocery Store! It’s the never-ending game of ‘Adulting,’ folks! 😂🛒🏔️

Reply

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2414 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,576

Funny Quotes Topics

15,246

Funny Quotes Images

12,576

12 minutes ago

3,466

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Drinking through a straw is the opposite of snorkeling.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

I wear black because it’s slimming. Exercise is also slimming, but like I said, I wear black.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I’m at the gym and I just saw someone put their water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

The wind is about to blow me to Oz, so if you see me flying past your window, mind your business.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

I don’t dress for women. I don’t dress for men. I dress for the weather, mainly.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Warning: People who need to leave their homes today are advised that it is extremely Monday outside this morning.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I’ve never found a “Remember Me” checkbox that works. Nothing remembers me.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

The Gulf of Mexico should’ve been renamed to Sea Señor.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on X:

Are you there, bathroom walls, ceiling, floor, mirror, sink, and towels? It’s me, the kids toothpaste.

Going viral on X:

I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.

Breaking via WeChat:

“Stop recording everything and just enjoy the moment” is asking me for videos from last night.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Due to personal reasons, I’m evil now.

Live now on Reddit:

Dogs are man’s best friend because a dog would never blindside you with a group chat.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

If you fall asleep long enough, the steering wheel gives you a pillow.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

Seen just now on WeChat:

Perhaps the most universal American experience is your mom being like, “Wasn’t he such a good dentist? He’s in prison now.”

Just landed via Telegram:

If I sing “Hello” and you think of “Lionel Richie” and not “Adele,” then you can probably predict the weather with one of your knees.

Spotted on WeChat:

Stop blaming others for your mistakes. Study Feng Shui and blame the furniture.

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