Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Finally it’s Friday and I can go out. I’m putting the garbage out and I’ll be right back.
  • Applying for jobs feels like auditioning to be enthusiastic about a blind date you haven’t even met yet.
  • Buying new glasses this week, so a whole bunch of you are about to get a whole lot uglier.
  • Haggis – the meal you have to stomach twice.
  • If you inject Botox into a raisin, does it turn back into a grape?
  • If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.