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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡­ has bookmarked:

Parents may forget many things, but they never forget who brought the noisy toys into the house.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡§ has bookmarked:

Not again. I mean good morning.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡Ώ has copied:

Your honor, I have a role to play as the black sheep of the family.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

Your honor, when I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean in contempt.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡© has copied:

Finally it’s Friday and I can go out. I’m putting the garbage out and I’ll be right back.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡³ has shared:

The day they handed out patience, I left because it was taking too long.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡― has copied:

If only my teeth were as white as my legs.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡» has viewed:

A dating app to meet other people with low IQ called OK Stupid.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡³ has downloaded:

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡¨ has copied:

If they don’t look at you like you’re magic, disappear like Houdini.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

763 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,925

Funny Quotes Topics

13,894

Funny Quotes Images

10,925

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,430

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Making waves on Slack:

All the leaves are brown. And this guy is Greg.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past 2 years.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I never oversleep in the mornings. I set an alarm and a back-up alarm. Plus, there’s also a noisy kid once those fail.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

Trending via Pinterest:

Good morning only to the complexity and uncertainty of everything.

Just landed via Facebook:

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

Spotted on WeChat:

Being a dinosaur sounds kinda nice. No bills, no work, just extinct.

Just landed via Telegram:

It’s funny how quickly you become difficult if you don’t always just say “yes”.

Freshly posted on Discord:

My mom sent me a text message so long I had to refill my Adderall prescription to read it.

Just shared via Telegram:

Kitchen sex, because it might be your only chance of getting laid on an island this summer.

Men love to show you a YouTube video. It is a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Men love to show you a YouTube video. It is a sign of deep respect in their culture.
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Commentary:
Ah, the sacred act of sharing a YouTube video – a true display of honor and reverence in the male species. πŸ“ΊπŸ’β€β™‚οΈ It's as if they are saying, "Let me enlighten you with this finest of internet gems, behold my digital offering!" πŸŒŸπŸ˜„ So, next time a guy wants to show you a YouTube video, just remember, it's their way of showing you the deepest form of respect known to mankind! 🀣

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Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

763 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,925

Funny Quotes Topics

13,894

Funny Quotes Images

10,925

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,418

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡³ has shared:

The Slow and the Furious: me navigating a shopping cart through a grocery store filled with morons.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡΄ has bookmarked:

I think my dad just eradicated a small village with his sneeze.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ύ has downloaded:

Job applications be like β€œhow did you hear about us?”. Bro why, was it a secret?

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Ί has shared:

Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself β€œdid I just run a red light?”

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ή has downloaded:

I’m a “I have an appointment later, so I can’t do anything else for the rest of the day” kind of person.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡¬ has viewed:

Now that Christmas and New Year are out of the way, we can focus on the things that really matter: My posts.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦ has shared:

Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡° has copied:

How did we decide to go with cockpit?

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡² has viewed:

Look, 80’s kids went from Inspector Gadget to Terminator so we have a lot of mixed feelings about technology.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡± has downloaded:

I may look fine on the outside, but on the inside I’m hungry again.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going viral on X:

I want to be rich enough where I’m not offended by the price of beef jerky.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Deleting my mental health to focus on social media.

Seen just now on Slack:

Reoccurring dreams be like: ‘I dunno, here’s a rerun’

Making waves on Telegram:

I told my psychiatrist I’ve been hearing voices lately. He told me I don’t have a psychiatrist.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

On Twitter, you will always find someone who is tweeting your thoughts but with better grammar.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Really just want to meet someone who knows what songs not to talk over.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Twitter sucks so much, but randomly there are such funny tweets, so I wait, like a frog, for one delicious fly.

Making waves on YouTube:

As everyone was arguing about politics, no one saw me leave with the cake.

Breaking via Messenger:

I got bills. They’re multiplying.

Live now on Instagram:

Netflix & by yourself.

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