Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • The way that we’re constantly told not to eat silica gel makes me suspect that it contains all the world’s forbidden knowledge.
  • I didn’t believe in karma until I was scheduled to work at 6am on a holiday.
  • People acting all happy and energized first thing in the morning. Chill out! You aren’t a Teletubby.
  • I’m best man at my buddy’s second wedding. Is it appropriate to open my dinner speech with “Welcome back everyone”?
  • I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.
  • Hey boy, are you the sun? Because you were a big part of my life this summer but now I feel like I never see you.