Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Living life like an Olympic sprinter: carb-ing up, sprinting hard, then gracefully bowing out for a well-deserved nap 😂🍝💤 #LifeGoals"

activity, carbs, day, effort, exertion, fitness, humor, i, laziness, load, minutes, much, myself, Olympic, quit, rest, sprinter

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Forget tequila, I’m at the age where you can wake up with a hangover from Netflix.

0

2 months ago

activity, age, forget, fun, fun activity, hangover, humor, Netflix, tequila, wake, wake up, where
I just want someone who will treat me like a lady and hold the refrigerator door open for me.

0

2 months ago

door, expectation, hold, humor, i, just, lady, me, open, refrigerator, relationship, romance, someone, treat, want
My therapist should also do my nails while we’re talking.

0

1 month ago

care, humor, multitasking, nail, nail care, nails, self-care, session, should, talking, therapist, therapy, therapy session, while
I don’t care about life on other planets. I don’t even have a life on this one.

0

2 months ago

care, even, existence, humor, i, irony, life, perspective, planet, planets, self-deprecation
Always be kind. You never know who has subscriptions to your favorite streaming apps.

0

2 months ago

always, app, apps, favorite, humor, kindness, kindness matters, know, matters, never, relationships, streaming, streaming app, subscriptions, unexpected
Too self-aware for foreplay. I’m so sorry… Take that nurse costume off. I know you didn’t go to med school.

0

2 months ago

apology, costume, flirting, foreplay, humor, i, know, med, med school, nurse, nurse costume, play, role, role play, school, self-awareness, sorry, take, too

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Discord this month:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my wife some months ago, where would you be hiding?

41 shares on Threads this month:

There is a grave concern that this post will produce zero likes.

32 shares on Pinterest this month:

Source? Divine intuition, gut instinct, and cryptic symbolism from my dreams.

62 shares on Slack this month:

Christmas is the season of giving, and I’m giving up for good.

19 shares on Reddit this month:

I think probably the reason some people look better at 30 than at 20 is because they’re wealthier.

95 shares on YouTube this month:

I’ve already broken all my resolutions and like four commandments.

66 shares on TikTok this month:

Have you ever been so stressed that you’re calm?

25 shares on Facebook this month:

Standing like a flamingo at my kitchen counter eating watermelon is such a vibe.

38 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m so good at missing early morning meetings, I can do it with my eyes closed.

25 shares on Discord this month:

Who the hell keeps letting it be Monday again?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

We need a word for that weird feeling you get when you learn what a podcaster looks like.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s: you get tired from sleeping now.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Has anyone seen my invisibility cloak?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

If she reads Bukowski, she’s not looking for love. She’s looking for someone who will ruin her creatively.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

I have this epiphany every night that I need to turn it up a notch.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

We all have that person who insists on using a blanket on the couch, no matter the weather.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

People acting all happy and energized first thing in the morning. Chill out! You aren’t a Teletubby.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Hansel and Gretel weren’t wrong, every bad decision I’ve ever made started with being hungry.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

WW3: I can’t fire my weapon unless I first watch a 15-second unskippable ad for Raid Shadow Legends.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

Why are they called “grammar Nazis” and not “the Gestypo”?

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Math is like Chinese to me.

Just landed via Instagram:

Don’t talk to me while my earphones are in, man, I’m at a concert.

Just shared via TikTok:

Remember that even the worst haircut will eventually grow on you.

Shared recently on TikTok:

My kids will never appreciate the amount of extroverting the introvert me does for them.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Much like an Olympic sprinter, I also load up on carbs, exert myself for roughly two minutes, and then quit for the rest of the day.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Forget tequila, I’m at the age where you can wake up with a hangover from Netflix.

I just want someone who will treat me like a lady and hold the refrigerator door open for me.

My therapist should also do my nails while we’re talking.

I don’t care about life on other planets. I don’t even have a life on this one.

Always be kind. You never know who has subscriptions to your favorite streaming apps.

Too self-aware for foreplay. I’m so sorry… Take that nurse costume off. I know you didn’t go to med school.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨