Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Living life like an Olympic sprinter: carb-ing up, sprinting hard, then gracefully bowing out for a well-deserved nap 😂🍝💤 #LifeGoals"

activity, carbs, day, effort, exertion, fitness, humor, i, laziness, load, minutes, much, myself, Olympic, quit, rest, sprinter

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I had too much to think last night.

2 weeks ago

humor, i, last, much, night, overthinking, think, thinking, too
I’m never more unattractive than when a bee flies in my face.

2 weeks ago

awkward, awkward situation, bee, distraction, face, funny moment, humor, moment, nature, never, situation, unattractive
“Stand up for yourself!” Girl, I have low iron.

1 week ago

girl, health, humor, i, iron, low, low iron, self-advocacy, stand, stand-up, yourself
Wednesday is the part of the novel where the heroine stares out the window and questions everything.

2 weeks ago

everything, heroine, humor, midweek, novel, questioning, questions, reflection, stares, Wednesday, where, window
If a beer is 8 bucks, it’s a show. If a beer is 14 bucks, it’s a concert.

1 week ago

activity, beer, concert, entertainment, fun, fun activity, humor, price, show
Eating trail mix should count as hiking.

1 day ago

activity, count, eating, fun, fun activity, hiking, humor, mix, outdoor, should, snack, trail, trail mix

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

15 shares on Twitch this month:

Spending 5 minutes looking up every word I want to use in a sentence to make sure I can define it in case they ask.

84 shares on Telegram this month:

I still can’t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. I’ve got 8 of them now and don’t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.

81 shares on Telegram this month:

My favorite yoga pose is the one where you eat a sandwich.

53 shares on Discord this month:

I dreamt this night that I had died and when I woke up, a piece of me was actually already stiff.

28 shares on Telegram this month:

Have kids so you can live in a house full of people who can’t find anything.

93 shares on WeChat this month:

Dear phone, if you didn’t light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn’t have died so quickly!

95 shares on Threads this month:

I really admire the suns ability to be exactly where my car’s visor can’t block it out.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

I love when I see a really beautiful car, and I look inside, and it’s a beautiful woman. That’s fire.

28 shares on Threads this month:

“Your account balance is low!” Brother, wait until you see my will to live.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

150 years ago, you could just fake your death and go overseas and live a completely different life if you didn’t like the way the cards were originally dealt.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

I bet it feels so good for a cat to headbutt someone they adore.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Can I come over and be your midnight snack?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

I don’t have any generational wealth but I did inherit a great spaghetti sauce recipe.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

They should invent a life where I know what I’m doing.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

I like deadlines. They make me functional.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Canadian Thanksgiving isn’t the same day as Thanksgiving in the US because Canadians already put gravy on everything every day.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re excited about your organized fridge.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Apparently, the job interviewer doesn’t like it when your biggest weakness is beautiful Latinas.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Enemies to lovers is only good if they’re gay. If I wanted to see a man and a woman yell at each other, I’d just go downstairs and eat with my parents.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

Lego bricks are classic educational toys. You step on them once and you can do ballet.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I would go out more if there weren’t any humans out there.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I can turn wine into water about two hours after drinking it. Checkmate Jesus.

Just landed via WeChat:

How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Someone in their late 20s giving advice to someone in their early 20s is exactly like when a toddler is obsessed with a newborn.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

This call, should’ve been a message in a bottle I never found.

Shared recently on WeChat:

“You’re so understanding,” yeah, because I don’t want to go to prison for the rest of my life.

Trending via Messenger:

Whenever I see an athlete eating quark, I get sad, because the quark could have been turned into cheesecake.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

It’s a little ironic when you consider that the Internet was invented to save time.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Much like an Olympic sprinter, I also load up on carbs, exert myself for roughly two minutes, and then quit for the rest of the day.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I had too much to think last night.

I’m never more unattractive than when a bee flies in my face.

“Stand up for yourself!” Girl, I have low iron.

Wednesday is the part of the novel where the heroine stares out the window and questions everything.

If a beer is 8 bucks, it’s a show. If a beer is 14 bucks, it’s a concert.

Eating trail mix should count as hiking.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨