Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Vegans will look you dead in the eye and tell you cauliflower tastes like ribs.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

When I was young, I couldn’t wait to be older. Well, I wasn’t expecting this shit!

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Dating me is super easy. I text you at 8; you reply at 8:00:01.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Fishing for compliments like “I’m a mess in this photo that I took all morning to get the right angle and filter and after 50 selfies this is me”.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

When I was a little girl, I always dreamed of growing up to satisfy user needs in a way that meets business goals for transformative outcomes.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Thank god I played a lot of Tetris as a kid or I never would have been able to get everything into the freezer.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

If I met someone like me, I’d be really concerned for them.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Your 20s are for trying soup, making new soups, and discussing soup or soup related topics.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,454

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

This Thanksgiving, don’t ask me questions about my life, just pass the mashed potatoes.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I stay away from beef-flavored cat food. At no point could Sylvia realistically bring down a cow, and I don’t need that kind of ego in the house.

Just landed via Reddit:

There is always enough for the needy, there is never enough for the greedy.

Making waves on Reddit:

Gollum is like, “Actually, this is my emotional support precious.”

Spotted on Reddit:

Sometimes I don’t worry about things at all and other times I am awake.

Trending via X:

Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.

Making waves on Discord:

‘Sex with your ex’ is so stupid. If you want to dwell on the past, you can just buy a history book.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

At least I can say I tried. I didn’t try, but I can say I did.

Trending via Slack:

I said “cool tattoo” to be nice not because I wanted to hear the 45 minute origin story.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Psychiatry is crazy because they’re just like… Oh, you’re really depressed? Would being on a pill that makes you fat help?

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.

2 weeks ago

Playful quote about choosing Taco Bell over McDonald’s with a humorous twist.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like your doctor is speaking in code – with a side of humor! 🌮🍟 Who can resist the siren call of Taco Bell over the golden arches? You're on your way to a healthier diet, one crunchy taco at a time! 🌮🤣 #TacoTuesdayGoals

bell, diet, doctor, eat, eating, fast, fast food, food, health, humor, i, joke, know, less, McDonald’s, me, meant, pretty, sure, taco, Taco Bell, well

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on TikTok this month:

Please don’t leave me to my own devices. They’re all out of batteries.

39 shares on Snapchat this month:

Went jogging and came back after five minutes because I forgot something. Forgot I’m out of shape.

69 shares on Messenger this month:

You have a bucket list, I have my head in a bucket, we are not the same.

51 shares on Twitch this month:

Eating trail mix should count as hiking.

36 shares on Pinterest this month:

I will restart the entire song if you talk over my favorite part.

77 shares on LinkedIn this month:

At first I’m shy, then I’m a podcast.

96 shares on Threads this month:

My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

21 shares on Slack this month:

The best part of getting older? I can wake up on my day off, without an alarm, at the same time my alarm would go off.

80 shares on Facebook this month:

I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

There is too much happening for mid-December. Where are the canceled meetings? Why are we not circling back next year?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Just googled “insanity” over and over but was expecting different results.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Old people get so mad when you’re young and tired.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Shout out to all you people out there who get asked if you’re okay a lot even though that’s the only facial expression you have.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever feel awkward in Target, cause you know you belong at Walmart.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh, gross. I didn’t know there was protein in this powder. I was only drinking it for the lead.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

It whistles, doesn’t it? Your head when it’s windy.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t believe Halloween was 10 pounds ago.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,457

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Like shark attacks on humans, it’s actually extremely rare. The majority of antique, porcelain headed dolls aren’t interested in murdering people.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Girls won’t admit it, but they don’t like super fine dudes; they like medium ugly, funny dudes that dress nice.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Has anyone else noticed that it’s hard to do things when you don’t want to?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Ending my thesis paper with “but who cares what I think?”

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

I took some free community martial arts lessons for self-defense, but I’m starting to think Tai Chi is too slow for most muggers.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

At the self-checkout, I make small talk with myself and I wish I would just shut up.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Still waiting for aliens to abduct me, which feels pretty rude considering I’ve been dressed and ready for years.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I won $6 on a scratch-off last night. Out of my way, peasants!

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

“You look nervous” Thanks, I’ve been practicing my whole life.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Someone asked, “Can I bum a scroll?” because they deleted Instagram off their phone.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Real introverts are too introverted to tell people they’re introverts.

Making waves on TikTok:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s only Wednesday.

Trending via Messenger:

Sometimes, before bedtime, I fall asleep on the couch. It’s my little sleep appetizer… my nappetizer.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Dear Stomach, you’re bored, not hungry. So shut up.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

When I was young I fixed my parents’ computer and now that I’m older I fix computers for my kids. Are we the only generation that knows how computers work?

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

My superpower? I can look you dead in the face while you’re talking and not hear a damn word you said.

Shared recently on Slack:

Jobs be asking me for 3 references, and I think I might start doing the same. Like, let me talk to 3 happy employees, please.

Making waves on Facebook:

“PTO” stands for “prepare the others” because you’re not gonna be there.

Trending via X:

I spend half the day wondering if it’s too late for coffee and the other half wondering if it’s too early for alcohol.

Trending via Facebook:

I eat my first meal of the day in the afternoon, bro. Don’t ask me for advice.

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