My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.

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I told the trees what you did. Be wary when you enter the forest next.

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You don’t need to explain yourself if you carry a chainsaw.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Why socialize when you could party inside your room with your 10+ personalities?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I’ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and I’d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform.

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Took a personality test and the results just said “uh-oh”

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Perfume is designed to be an invisible accessory. It’s not designed to instantly kill the canary when you entered the room.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

I’ve found that the easiest way to do burpees is to just not do burpees. No pain, no pain.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

If you think my heart is cold, you should feel my feet.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Harmonicas are basically for people who like to hear music while they spit.